Adventures in the (916)

My potential next boyfriend?

2010-06-17T21:42:00.000-07:00

Thought I'd sign up for a free online dating site called OK Cupid. Normally I believe that you get what you pay for, but I dunno! Check out the message I received this week from a potential love match:

Hello, my age 40.Height 180cm
Show the young. Looks 30 years old。I am seriously looking for love。We hope you can accept。
I am in China shandong jinan. Confucius's hometown. Where are you from? Chinese men know

love, respect for women
I email：lkjhpoiuy123692010@hotmail.com
Wish happy
I am faithful,You and I are well-matched

Draft E-mail Message to G.

2009-11-25T20:28:00.000-08:00

Dear G,

Just curious, were you ever planning to apologize to me? For what? I can picture you thinking. Well, I waited for you - by myself - last Saturday night at the bar for FORTY MINUTES. 40 minutes in which you didn't think to contact me and let me know that you and your friends went to another bar instead. No. You did not think. That is the problem. Meanwhile, I was sitting at the bar at Shady Lady BY MYSELF on a Saturday night waiting for you to show up. When I finally left the bar at 10:40 pm, I was not happy. I felt like a total idiot that I waited there for you. I felt really stupid for expecting that you would show up. I wanted to cry, but didn't allow it. Know why? Because you're not worth it. I'm not going to waste my tears on some 28-year-old guy who I barely know.

I went home, put on my sweats, and climbed into bed. I checked my phone and saw a text message from you. (That's another thing - why can't you ever make a simple phone call instead of texting??). You wrote that you and your friends stopped for a drink at Hangar 17 and could I meet you there? And if not, you would "see me soon". Uh, no. Because you know what? I was at home. In bed. You might understand now why I did not bother replying to that message.

While I'm at it, I'm going to give you some unsolicited advice. From your behavior, it seems like you don't have a lot of experience with women. I find this surprising, given that you're an attractive, 28-year-old guy who has gone to college and no doubt had many opportunities with women. However, I recommend that in the future, you CALL instead of text, and if you say you're going to show up somewhere, do it and don't leave a girl sitting by herself in a crowded bar on a Saturday night. A couple of things can happen. First of all, she's going to be super pissed at you. Secondly, some other dude could pick up on her. In my case, a very nice guy started talking to me. He happened to be the assistant manager at the Sunglass Hut in the Roseville Galleria Mall, for your information. He wasn't my type, but that's beside the point.

It's been...interesting, I suppose, knowing you. I wish you the best of luck and I'm sorry that you decided to be so flaky, because if there's one thing I have zero patience for, it's flakiness.

Happy Thanksgiving!

- M.

Parking Garage/Bus Station Employee

2009-11-19T20:58:00.000-08:00

I started my new job this week and I'm ready to look for another new job. Seriously. On Monday and Tuesday, I had to drive to Walnut Creek (approx. 75 mi.) and pick up two co-workers in Sacramento on the way there. Total pain in the ass. I don't even want to get into the annoying details. Let's just say I was late on my first day of work and I was not happy. I hate driving, by the way. I especially hate driving 165 miles in one day, for two days in a row. On Wednesday, my commute was shorter and I only had to drive to Fairfield, which is about 45 miles away. Hate. It. Driving, that is.

Get this. My new office is in a parking garage. Literally, it is a little office that is part of a parking garage. It is a nice parking garage, but still. I work in a parking garage. At least my car is only steps away. Ha ha. Too bad I can't laugh about this now. Just kidding. My co-workers and I laughed our asses off when we saw the office for the first time and came to the realization that we work.in.a.parking.garage!!!!

Not only do we work in a parking garage, but the parking garage is part of the Fairfield Transit Center. Which is the main commuter bus depot in town. Someone came to the office yesterday afternoon and asked me if I had bus information. This is my life now.

I almost forgot to mention the bathroom situation. The first thing I asked when I walked into the office was "where is the bathroom?" If you walk outside of the office, you'll find public restrooms around the corner. Public, as in, for anyone who walks in off the street, such as transients. Hmmm. Luckily, there is a nice bathroom option too. But that is a farther walk. There is a nice office building a couple hundred yards away and we can use their bathroom. In fact, they encourage us to use their bathroom. But, not between 12 and 1, because they are closed for lunch. And not after 5, when they close. Other than that, great!

There is also zero privacy in the office. It is just an open space with several desks. The room is about 2o by 25 feet.

I'm so tired every night by the time I get home. I think it's because of the driving, because I'm not waking up that much earlier than before.

I've also been working on a job application every night this week. I finally finished it tonight - which was also the deadline. It's a foreign service job with the U.S. Dept. of Commerce. I've applied for the job before, in 2005, when I was about to finish my year in Germany. I got denied. They've changed the application, but it's still very challenging. I would be very surprised if I was contacted for an interview. But it was worth a shot. The department only opens this recruitment once every two years.

SF Day

2009-11-11T19:25:00.000-08:00

I scheduled a day of meetings in SF because I wanted to see this guy Adam who I have a huge crush on. Once I knew he was available for happy hour, I arranged to meet with a number of other people, starting at lunchtime. It worked out well. I had lunch with my friend from Taiwan, coffee with my friend from Canada, and an interesting bubbly (non-alchoholic) beverage with my friend from Germany. Adam asked me to meet him at a bar called House of Shields. I got there early and noted it was very loud, dark and crowded. He walked in and gave me a hug (yay!). He asked if I wanted to go somewhere else, somewhere quieter. Yes, yes I did. We walked around and checked out no fewer than 4 other bars before finally finding someplace where we would get a table at the bar. He ordered beer and I had a glass of zin. We shared calamari. He was very friendly and asked me a lot of questions. About halfway into our conversation, I detected that he had a girlfriend. Darn it. I was disappointed. But still had a good time. He lives in the Berkeley Hills and commutes to SF for work. He surfs and drives a VW Jetta station wagon (probably good to accomodate his surfboard). He grew up in Miami but never went to Disney World. Interesting guy, someone I'd like to spend more time and get to know, but alas he has a g-friend. Lucky girl. It goes without saying that I hate her. He downed two beers pretty quickly. He paid the bill. We walked to BART and took the train together to North Berkeley, his stop. That was another half hour of conversation, which was nice. I continued on to Richmond, end of the line, where my car was parked. Overall, a nice evening, but could have been much better.

Ambiguity

2009-11-11T19:11:00.000-08:00

My sister described G. as "ambiguous" because he is this guy I've been spending time with and I can't figure out whether he likes me as more than a friend. So now I call him "Mr. Ambiguity". Very fitting. We saw each other on Sunday and Monday. Sunday, he joined me and my friends for wine tasting and a picnic. He baked brownies. And he looked gorgeous, as usual. But I got nothing from him - no signal regarding how he thinks of me. So frustrating. Monday night, he met me at a bar (the bar where we met, actually). I started a conversation about past relationships, and it went pretty well. I found out something important: he dates women. Yay! That's a good starting point. He told me that he was dating someone two months ago. That wasn't long before we met. It sounded like she dumped him and he was pretty bummed about it. He said they dated for a month and a half. He asked me about my last relationship and I told him a little bit about why things didn't work out between Rob and me. For each of the reasons, he would make a statement indicating that he wasn't like that. Hm, interesting. We left and he drove me home. He came inside to change into his running clothes - he was going to the park for a 3-mile run. He left and said "see ya later" or something non-committal. I couldn't stand it anymore, and I walked outside as he was putting his clothes in his trunk. I said, "I want to ask you something before you go running." I said I was sorry to put him on the spot but that I wondered what he thought of me - whether he liked me as just a friend or ?? And he said that he absolutely likes me as a friend, and he is trying to figure out whether it can be something more. I was disappointed but at least it wasn't a total failure. He said that he is attracted to me, so that was a highlight. However, he said that he still thinks about that girl who dumped him. He said he really enjoys spending time with me. We agreed that we would keep hanging out and just see what happens. It was an awkward conversation but I'm glad it happened, because I don't enjoy not knowing. So what did I learn? That he does feel ambiguous - about me.

Tired of Texting

2009-11-05T21:32:00.000-08:00

One of the (many) problems with dating - or trying to date - younger men is that they prefer to communicate via text messaging. Or maybe it's not age-related, I don't know. But most of the guys I get involved with "talk" to me via text and sometimes (if I'm lucky) via e-mail.

Take G., for example. He's 28 and I don't think he knows how old I am. It hasn't come up in conversation, but I'm sure he knows I'm older. If I don't step in and call him, or specifically request that he call me, our conversations would be 100% text. Not OK. I don't mind using text messaging in some instances, but you can't have an actual conversation. Then again, this guy has other issues. For example, we went out last Friday and he dropped me off at home. He asked me if he could stay over because he was too tired to drive home. I said yes but felt it was somewhat awkward, since we hadn't even kissed or exchanged any sort of affectionate moments. He said he wanted to sleep in my bed with me. And that's what he did. No good night kiss, nothing. He offered to cuddle if I got cold. Huh. I was really confused. Then he wanted to go to breakfast in the morning. I continued to be confused. I'm supposed to see him in a couple of days, but only because I invited him to meet me somewhere, and because we had a phone conversation requested by me. At least he can follow instructions, and he called me when I asked him to.

The day before my boss's election, I got a mysterious text message from a (619) number - that's San Diego. It said "good luck tomorrow!" I had no idea who it was from and I don't have many friends in SD. I forgot about it until Wednesday, when I received another message from the same number saying "congrats". Finally I replied and said "thanks, who is this?" And got a message back saying "Lovell. Ha." That's this guy, J., who I met in August at a friend's birthday party. We went out once and had a great time. We drank two bottles of wine and made out for a few minutes. We exchanged a couple of text messages (of course) the following week, and then all communication ceased because I never heard back from him. Another one of those dating mysteries. Oh well. I pretty much forgot about it. This one is only 26, by the way. So I wrote him back "I wondered what happened to you" and he said "Tell me about it. I was in trial for 5 weeks." He is an attorney. O-K. Still annoyed. I wrote him back today (why?? I don't know) and said "let me know if you want to get together again sometime" and what response did I get? None. Figures.

The third guy is N., in San Francisco. He doesn't really call me either, but he'll respond to my e-mails very quickly. I saw him two weeks ago and thought things went extremely well, but I haven't heard from him since. Wonder if I have to e-mail him? Ugh. It's so much work, for so little in return.

Finally - my crush. I know, I have many. But really, this is the guy I've been crazy about for more than two years, ever since I first saw him in July 2007. I saw him at the trade show in Anaheim and I'm still in love. He doesn't have a clue, as far as I know. I invited him to our party but he didn't show. However, he had sent me an e-mail asking me if I was still at the party, knowing I would get it on my Blackberry. But I didn't get it, I left the phone in my hotel room. Grr. I didn't write back. He sent me another message the next morning, asking how the party was and saying he was sorry he couldn't make it. I wrote him back a few days later and said I was going to be in SF next week, and did he want to meet for happy hour? He does. Yessss. I'm making plans to head over there next Tuesday and we are all set to meet at 6 pm at some bar in the Fin Dist. I am ridiculously excited. I have liked him for so long. Maybe, just maybe, he likes me too? Given my luck, totally unlikely. But still I try.

Guys, please - call a woman if you want to talk to her. Stop sending text messages!

Update - "Younger Man"

2009-09-28T20:54:00.001-07:00

Re: http://adventuresinthe916.blogspot.com/2009/08/younger-man.html

Yeah. That was a no-go. He never called me. I sent him a text the next week saying I hoped he was having a great weekend in Vegas (Labor Day Weekend). He wrote me back saying "I hate Vegas". I wrote him saying "Care to elaborate?" and never heard back.

Kind of bizarre. But, whatever.

A Taste of Sacramento

2009-09-28T20:24:00.000-07:00

Last Friday I attended the "Taste of Sacramento" event, a fundraiser for Easter Seals. It's one of those wine and food sampling events where various wineries, breweries and restaurants offer up tastings and small portions for attendees. I arrived with three friends and met up with three other friends at the party. At various times in the night, I was with different people or just wandering around by myself, basically trying to drink as much wine as possible (wanted to get my $30 worth, you know). As is common at these events, there were super-long lines at the food vendors, so I didn't get too much to eat. But I also didn't feel hungry. My three original friends left fairly early, as they were frustrated by the food line situation. I was happy to stay and wait it out. I left with one friend plus two of her friends (a married couple) and we headed to DeVere's, an Irish pub nearby.

We found a table at the pub and proceeded to order some food: fish and chips for the couple, and my friend and I split an order of fries (I mean chips) and dipping sauces. I had a Harp, my friend ordered a Hoegaarden. After a while, the married couple left (they had to drive back to the 'burbs, after all) and it was just the single girls. We walked to the bar to order more beers (a Hoegaarden each) and my friend struck up a conversation with a table of four cute guys. The cutest one (in my opinion) was talking to me and he told me he thinks we've met before. I'll fall for it - why not? No, but really, we had met before. He figured it out. I never would have recognized him. At my last job (more than 2 years ago now) we hosted a bunch of interns from Italy. This guy had been friends with one of my interns, and he and I were briefly introduced one night at a cowboy bar in Elk Grove. His name was familiar to me and I remembered that the girl had been really crazy about him - but she had to go back to Italy. He told me he had visited her in Italy a couple years ago when he was on vacation there. He is from Lodi, where my mom grew up and where my grandfather and some family members still live. He works for the state, a few blocks from where I work. He mentioned that he graduated from high school in 1999 and asked me when I graduated. I refused to answer and just told him I graduated in the '90s. It's true, and he doesn't need to know that I'm seven years older than him (making him 28). He lived in Germany for a year and a half and speaks German. And he's hot - did I mention that already? He left *today* for a trip to Munich, to attend Oktoberfest! Then he's going to France for two weeks to travel around. He asked for my number...he even joked that he might not remember me after three weeks in Europe. No doubt. If I were him, I'd totally forget about some chick at a bar in Sacramento after hooking up with European girls for weeks! So I figured I definitely wouldn't hear from him. Of course I'd be thrilled to hear from him when he gets back - but the chances of that are slim, very slim.

This guy had to leave early (actually it was about 12:30 am) because his ride was taking off. I was bummed that he left...wished I'd have asked him to stay. But I wasn't lonely for long, because I was flirting with one of his buddies, who, as it turned out, doesn't really know him anyway and was just in town for the weekend from LA. I felt that the attraction was mutual and it wasn't long before I took him out on the patio and we starting making out. The patio faces the street and there were tons of people out there and walking by. Classy! What can I say, it was the alcohol.

My friend was stuck inside talking to his friend and she told us the guy was "a douche." So the three of us took off and we got her a cab - she was in no shape to drive and luckily she wasn't going to fight us. Then the random guy and I got a taxi and headed to my place. He came inside - I gave him a house tour and got us some water. I told him he could stay...he said he'd just stay for a couple of hours. Oh kay. Whatever - I told him he could stay for the whole night. We went to my room...he got in my bed and I went to go take out my contacts. I don't remember brushing my teeth or really anything, but I know I had my glasses on. I thought he was asleep, but when I laid down he started cuddling with me immediately. Kinda nice. Haven't had a cute guy in my bed for a while. Oh - about this guy - he is 30 and lives in Westwood and has his own marketing firm. He was staying with his grandfather in Davis, and he grew up in Tiburon. He wasn't very tall, maybe slightly taller than me. I thought he was skinny but he was pretty muscular. I'll spare the details of what occurred between us but I'll say that clothing remained on and he was respectful. We fell asleep. He got up at some point, pull on his jeans, and left. It was still dark, I don't know what time it was. I'm so glad he left, though, because I was in a world of pain and hurt when I woke up. Didn't want anyone to be witness to that. Seriously bad hangover. I don't remember the last time I felt that shitty. It definitely ranked in the top 20 of all-time shitty hangovers, though. I didn't re-join the world until after 2 p.m. on Saturday. Finally started feeling "normal" by 6 p.m. I stayed in to complete my recovery.

This afternoon (Monday) at work I checked my cell phone (I keep it on silent during the day out of consideration for my office mate - wouldn't it be nice if she did the same??) and I had a text message from a (209) area code - Lodi! Yes, it was from hot guy #1. He wrote me that he was about to board his flight to Munich, and wasn't I jealous? (yes!!) Hm. Maybe I will hear from him when he gets back. I won't count on it, but I'll be hopeful.

Younger Man

2009-08-30T21:56:00.000-07:00

I went on a date last night with a cute guy I met at my friend Cindy's birthday party a few weeks ago. I don't think he knows how old I am - or if he does, he doesn't care. Who knows. I think he is 26. He graduated from law school last year and now works as an attorney for a state agency. He lives close by, so that's convenient. He actually works in a building across the street from where I work. He came over here and we walked to Tower Cafe. It was a hot evening, still in the 80s at 9 p.m. There is a beautiful outdoor patio at the cafe and we sat there drinking wine. One bottle was probably enough, but I think we were both enjoying the conversation so we ordered another. I hope I wasn't slurring! We left at around 11:30 and headed back to my place. He hung out here for about 15 minutes before leaving. There was some kissing...very nice. I'd be happy to hang out with him again, but we'll see. I'm leaving it up to him to contact me if he wants to go out again.

Switzerland

2009-08-30T21:39:00.000-07:00

I am very excited that I have a job interview this week with an organization in Switzerland! The interview will take place via Skype...no trip to Geneva :(

Would I move to Geneva if I got this job? YES!! Absolutely. You can't pass up amazing opportunities like that.

Foreign Service Application Process

2009-07-20T20:27:00.000-07:00

On June 11, I took the Foreign Service Officer Test. This is the first step for those who are interested in a career with the U.S. Department of State as a professional diplomat. The hiring process is extremely competitive - only about 10-12% of those who take the test end up with a job offer. I've always been interested in a diplomatic career, but life just happens and takes you in different directions. You can't plan it. But now I'm at a point where I feel that all of my cumulative career experience has possibly prepared me well for a career in the Foreign Service. Since I'm exploring a career change anyway, I figured I'd sign up for the exam. It doesn't cost anything, so what the hell.

Some say that you can't effectively study for the test. I studied anyway. I checked out a great book called The Dictionary of Cultural Literacy from the library. I had a study guide and I practiced writing timed essays. There are four sections to the test: job knowledge, bio, English expression, and essay. I was really concerned about job knowledge and the essay. I worried about what the essay prompt would be, so I was trying to brush up on all sorts of current events, domestic and international. After a while I relaxed about it because I realized there's no way I could prepare for it (and I was right!).

On the day of the test, I was feeling OK. When I arrived at the testing site, I started getting nervous. The test is taken on a computer and it's multiple choice (except for the essay, of course). The job knowledge section was first. I thought - for sure I'm not going to pass, based on that section. I found it extremely difficult. The bio section was OK, it's hard to tell how they score that, becanuse you're just answering questions about your own experiences. The English section was unbelievably easy. I would be surprised if I missed more than 2 or 3 questions. The essay prompt was something general enough that I felt comfortable typing up a decent answer. You have to get 6/12 points to pass the essay and I was pretty sure I accomplished that.

I left feeling rather defeated and quite disappointed. However, I got an e-mail about 3 weeks later informing me, much to my surprise, that I had passed! Shocking. I was pretty excited but knew there were more hurdles to overcome. I believe 45-50% of people taking the written exam pass. Next, we were instructed to submit 5 short essay answers discussing our leadership, management, communication, etc. skills. We have three weeks to submit them. I've been spending quite a bit of time on my answers. It's been very frustrating to write these stories in such limited space, only about 200 words. However, I feel I've done my best and I think I have some fairly good essays. I'll submit them online tomorrow.

Then it's back to waiting. I will find out by October if I am invited to move on to the next step, which is a daylong oral assessment. I can't believe it takes up to 3 months for the examiners to make this decision. In the meantime, I'm going to pursue other foreign service opportunities, but with different agencies. The US Dept of Commerce and the US Agency for International Development both have foreign service officers. The hiring process is still competitive, but doesn't seem quite as grueling. I feel like I'm fairly well-qualified for positions at any of these agencies, but there are thousands of people applying for a limited number of openings. From what I know, the State Dept will be hiring many more foreign service officers than in past years, so it seems like it's a great time to be applying. The US government is investing in diplomacy, which I think is a wonderful idea!

Distractions

2009-07-20T20:05:00.000-07:00

Lately I haven't been making any effort as far as dating is concerned. I feel like there are other, much more important things to focus on - like employment! The economic situation is really stressful, and it's compounded by working where I work, because the reality of the state's horrible budget deficit is in my face all the time. I am often reminded to be grateful, however, that I still have my job and I'm not subject to the furlough order. Most state employees are furloughed for three Fridays every month now. When I'm biking to work on those days, I feel really sad for my fellow government employees who have to deal with a 14% salary reduction. If I had to do that, it would be very difficult.

Given the dour economic outlook, coupled with the political realities in my office, it is definitely time to move on and find a new job. It's disappointing, because I thought I would be in this job for a while longer, but honestly it's not what I thought it was, and I'll probably be happier doing something else. However, quitting is not an option! Not when I have major financial responsibilities. I completely adore my house, but lately I've been wondering what I was thinking buying a house!! It's such a huge financial commitment. At least the value has held, so if I did have to sell, it would be an option. I'd like to keep it. Realistically, if I want to continue my career in international affairs, I'm going to have to move away, either overseas or to Washington, DC. I don't want to move away from my friends and family and this cute house, but if I want to pursue what I'm passionate about, I can't stay in Sacramento. I'd also like to live in a larger, more vibrant city. I can always come home and visit.

I also feel as though since I'm not in a relationship, I can move away, I can pursue an international career. It's all about me - that's a good thing for me right now. I would be open to meeting someone in the future, preferably someone who understands and shares my interest in travel, living abroad, and having adventures.

While I'm pursuing career opportunities elsewhere, I would really prefer not to meet anyone because that would just be a distraction and make things more difficult! Given my track record, however, it's probably not something I'll have to worry about.

Confessions of a Slacker

2009-06-12T21:59:00.000-07:00

I confess, I’ve been a total slacker the last couple of weeks at work. I plan on picking up the pace next week, because I’ve learned that NOT working actually makes the day go by much slower, and I feel much more sluggish at the end of the day. Not worth it! Plus I feel a little guilty too. How have I been keeping myself occupied? Well, I spend a lot of time job-searching. I used to feel uncomfortable using state time and computers to search for other jobs, but now I can justify it, because I feel very uncertain about my future employment situation.

Today I took it a step further and actually applied for a job online. It probably took me about half an hour, so I called it my lunch break. I find very few jobs that I actually want to apply for, and I think this is the only job I’ve applied for. It’s something in Sacramento, in the private sector. Not my ideal job, but according to the description, it appeared to be something I’d be at least relatively qualified for. I have no idea what the salary would be. I mostly applied in the hopes I’ll get called for an interview, because I think it will be good practice to do some job interviews. It’s a fairly large corporation, and I imagine they’ll get a lot of applications for this position, so I don’t have high expectations that I’ll be considered. If I really wanted to pursue it, I could probably call a couple of people who could put in a good word. But I am not going to that length, I suppose I’m not that desperate yet.

The other thing I’ve been doing while I’m supposed to be working is studying for this horrendous exam required for those who wish to serve the US as diplomats. I took the exam yesterday afternoon and would be shocked if I actually passed. Most disappointing was that I spent what I consider to be a great deal of time studying and preparing. The questions I thought were difficult were on topics I feel to be rather obscure. I thought to myself during the test, there’s no way I could have studied more and done better. I did my best, and made a number of educated guesses, but my sense is that I missed too many to get a passing score.

The exam has four sections: job knowledge, which is the part that I found most difficult. The questions test your knowledge of US and world history, culture, world geography, the political system, etc. The next section was an opportunity to answer questions about yourself. I found it a little weird, even though I had sample questions and knew what to expect. I just don’t know how they grade this section. The English expression section was very, very easy. I mean, I was almost laughing during it because it was so simple. Anyone who’s a native English speaker would breeze through it. The final portion was a timed essay. We were provided with a prompt – I know that there are different prompts out there, so the topics vary – and you have to write a persuasive essay, arguing your position one way or another, in 30 minutes. I had done some practice essays to see how fast I could write and I felt pretty confident that I could get it done in 30 minutes. I did finish just in time and didn’t have time to review, but I think I did well enough to get a passing score, which is all I need.

My thought about this whole process now that it’s over – first of all, I’m relieved! No more studying, and my life can get back to normal. By that I mean I can stop making excuses to not clean my house. Last weekend, I pretty much sequestered myself to the house and studied all day long, both days. Ugh. I’m happy to regain my free time. I also feel that if it’s meant to be, I will pass, and that if I don’t, that means I don’t have the knowledge, experience, or qualities they are looking for. Fortunately I have a number of other interests that I can and will pursue. All I know for sure is that I have to take action to change my current employment situation because I don’t know how much longer I can bear it.

Cash Log

2009-06-12T21:46:00.000-07:00

I was reading a blog this afternoon that features money-saving tips. One entry was particularly interesting, it was the "money diary" of a 25-year-old woman. For a number of days, she wrote about what she spent her money on. Mostly, she felt guilty about spending money she didn't have - she was buying a lot of things with her credit card. I've been thinking a lot lately - worrying a lot, actually - about money and the need to spend less because of what I see as an unstable employment future. I thought I'd give the money diary a shot. Here goes:

Friday, June 12: Today was payday. Normally this would be exciting, because it appears that I have a fairly significant amount of money in my checking account. The reality is that I have to stash about half of my paycheck away so that I can make the mortgage payment on July 1. Also, my student loan payment cleared today. That's another big chunk. I made an online payment for my credit card, and that should clear tomorrow. I did deposit my travel reimbursement check today, which covers the credit card and then some, so that is reassuring.

I mostly spent money on little things today. I bought a couple pieces of candy at See's. I think I spent about $1.45 there. I stopped at Safeway on my way home and spent about $14 on groceries, some stuff for dinner and some fruit. I decided to stay home tonight because I wanted to relax after a stressful week. I did treat myself to a movie at Blockbuster, which set me back $4.88. I bought some candy for $0.88. And I think that's about it.

Lately I've been leaving my wallet at home when I go to work, so I won't be tempted to go buy stuff. This is mostly to prevent me from buying cookies or other unnecessary food during the day - like the See's candy today! It works pretty well and I can kill two birds with one stone - save money and save calories.

Taken

2009-05-16T18:35:00.000-07:00

The Boytoy and I made plans to see each other on Thursday night. He called me the night before, at 10:30 pm. I was surprised to hear from him. He wanted to share with me that he'd received a job offer. He was really excited about it. I thought it was kind of adorable that he wanted to call me that night with the info, considering I'd be seeing him the next day. He also wanted to ask me if it'd be OK if he stopped by the office to see me. I said sure, I'd be in all afternoon. He had a lunch meeting in downtown.

He came by the office at about 4:30 pm and hung out in the reception area, chatting with my work friend and me for about 15 minutes. He got ready to leave and I wanted to talk with him about our plans for later, but couldn't do so there. He said he was going to get a beer with some people we used to work with. I knew he had a b-ball game at 7:30 (he asked me to come watch) but I didn't know if he was meeting me before and/or after the game. I was somewhat irritated because I really need to have my time planned and scheduled. What can I say, I'm a busy girl! If we weren't going to hang out after work, then I would have time to get my nails done. We exchanged a couple of text messages and I told him I wouldn't have time to go to his game, but I confirmed he was coming to my place after. He told me he'd like to watch a move and I said I'd rent one. I went to Safeway after my nail appointment and got a movie (Taken) and I bought a frozen pizza for him. He didn't come over until a little after 9:00 pm. I was relaxing, watching the season finale of Grey's Anatomy. He took a shower and I cooked his pizza. I started the movie. We watched about 3/4 of the movie before I leaned over and gave him a kiss. The kiss kept going and I suggested we pause the movie. He didn't protest.

We went upstairs - no need to share details, but I would like to say that I was very impressed and I had a great time. He was still in my bed when I left for work. I told him he could hang out and that the front door was locked, so he could leave whenever. He still isn't allowed to drive. I didn't bother asking how he was going to get home, I figured he had a friend or family member to call for a ride. He had plans to play golf at 3 p.m. He's got it pretty good for an unemployed guy.

I am fairly certain that we'll see each other again, I don't see why not. So far, everything's going according to my plan (of what I want, that is).

What's a Colorado Dingo, Anyway?

2009-05-16T18:21:00.000-07:00

My most recent ex-boyfriend is on Match.com. I know this because one of my friends informed me that her friend saw a photo of her on some guy's profile on Match. She asked me to guess whose profile it could possibly be - she told me the screen name was "coloradodingo". I had no idea. Well, it turns out to be Rob. And who else is in the photo with Rob and my friend? ME. I was first a bit amused, then shocked, then downright mad that he would use images of me and my friends in his efforts to meet ladies online. That is just wrong. My friend said maybe he was trying to make it seem like he has friends (he doesn't). I was definitely prepared to contact him and politely ask him to please remove any and all images of me and my friends from his online dating page. Luckily I didn't have to - when I got home and viewed his page, those photos weren't there. Maybe he thought about it and decided it wasn't such a good idea after all.

So of course I checked out his profile. He had 4 photos posted - two of which were taken by me in Lake Tahoe last September. The other two were of him and his Harley. Nice. It's kind of funny because I had remarked to myself and others that I didn't think Rob would have much success with online dating, if he were to try it, because the guy is just not photogenic. I mean, he's very attractive in person, but it was impossible to get a good photo of him. I have one - in three-plus months of dating - that turned out really nicely. My sense of this was proven true in the four pics he chose - they don't do him justice. He's also wearing shades in every photo.

Then there's his written profile. I knew he wasn't a gifted writer from the e-mails we'd exchanged. But the poor grammar and bad sentence structure in his profile made me cringe. OK, so I'm a grammar Nazi and this kind of stuff is important to me. But still. The content was also unimpressive. Essentially, if I hadn't known the guy and was just reading his profile, perusing through guys I might be interested in meeting, I'd never in a million years want to contact him based on his Match profile. Kinda sad, considering the huge amount of time I spent with the guy. Oh well. I had fun and now I've (we've) moved on.

I do think it's a little funny, though, that now I'm "spending time" with the Boytoy, who Rob met several times. Back then, I never would have thought that would happen. Naturally I fantasized about it...often...but not when I was with Rob (honest!).

Moral of the story - it's not OK to post photos of your ex (and/or their friends) on your online dating page. Oh, and guys? Maybe have someone read your written profile to check for errors before you post it.

Food I Eat

2009-05-07T22:16:00.000-07:00

Thursday, May 7, 2009
1. chocolate croissant from La Bou (evil but delicious)
2. English breakfast tea (good)
3. pink grapefruit (good but sugary)
4. breaded chicken breast (not great b/c of breading)
5. rice pilaf (neutral)
6. carrots (good)
7. broccoli (good)
8. bread roll w/butter (I eat way too many carbs)
9. iced tea (fine)
10. carrot cake (evil, needless to say)
11. half cup of coffee with cream
12. Fiber One bar (good)
13. black bean Morningstar Farms brand veggie burger (good)
14. english muffin (bun for burger) - fine
15. romaine salad with broccoli, cannelini beans, cucumber, carrots and olive oil/balsamic vinegar for dressing (good)
16. mint chip ice cream (evil)

I think a small village in Africa could survive for a week on the food I ate in one day! Yikes. Must do better tomorrow.

The Overnight Guest

2009-04-29T21:49:00.000-07:00

Last Thursday I met some friends for a glass of wine after work and got home at about 9:30 p.m. I had a missed call from the Boytoy so I gave him a buzz. He'd had a court date that morning and wanted to tell me what happened. We chatted briefly and then he asked me if he could come over and crash on my couch because he had a meeting in downtown the next morning. I was a bit surprised but said sure! Come on over. Since he lives a half hour away, I figured I had plenty of time to tidy up the house and change out of my work suit. But no, the doorbell rang 5 minutes later! Sure enough, there he was - looking a bit sheepish. He said "I know this seems creepy - sorry." He'd been playing basketball only a few minutes away from my house and had his friend drop me off. He said he had been planning to stay at his friend's, but that his friend's girlfriend was mourning a death in the family and it was bad timing. Hmmm.

He took a shower - he had just played b-ball, after all. In that time, I went into my room and threw a bunch of crap into the closet and changed out of my work clothes. I went downstairs to relax on the couch. He joined me when he finished his shower. We talked for a while and things were getting a little flirtatious. Eventually we went upstairs to my room. He tried to sleep on the couch but I wouldn't allow it. My bed is so much more comfortable! I was just being a good hostess. Anyway...we hung out in my room for a while, and then he was falling asleep and it turns out he snores SO loudly! I couldn't handle it so I grabbed a pillow and headed downstairs. I'm not sure I've ever slept on my own couch. It wasn't that comfy, but I am sure I got more sleep than I would have if I'd stayed in my room.

In the morning I snuck into my room, and into my bed. He was cuddly, it was cute. I got ready for work and he got dressed. We left the house together and took light rail into downtown. How romantic...oh yeah. He walked me into my office building and gave me a hug goodbye.

Moral of the story? I love being single...having a hot 25 year old guy come over and spend the night in the middle of the week, totally unexpectedly. Even if it meant I couldn't sleep in my own bed. Good enough that I knew there was a gorgeous naked guy in my bed. Life is good.

Oh - he somehow knows I have a blog and he was asking me if I was going to write about him. I assured him that I'd change his name and that no, he could NOT have the URL :)

Number 100

2009-04-22T20:34:00.000-07:00

When I was much younger, my friend and I wrote lists of the guys we'd kissed. Over the years, our lists both grew, but I could never hope to catch up with her. Until she met The One at age 24 and her list stopped. Yes! Victory was mine. In a surprising show of continuity, I've actually kept the list going. It's kind of fun to look back and see, for example, that I kissed 14 guys in 1993 (I'm estimating). Naturally, my numbers dwindled in the post-college years. There have been some long, long dry spells over the years, believe me. Sometimes, when I write down a new name, I sort of wonder "could this be the last guy on my list?"

I'm somewhat proud to announce that I broke the 3-digit barrier on Sunday night. I had plans with the Boytoy to hang out in his neck of the woods. I headed down to the Delta and arrived at his house (after getting lost) a little after 4 p.m. I brought my bike with me. It was super hot (for mid-April). He was nowhere to be found. I was somewhat dismayed that his sister was home, I was hoping to spend some alone time with him. But whatever. She said he was putting away the lawnmower. He came back and we got ready to head out on our bikes and meet up with his friends on the river. His friend has a pretty sweet boat and there were 6 or 7 people on the boat. I had never met any of them. One of the guys, who BT had also never met, asked me if we were engaged. Yikes! I laughed and said, no, we're friends. Funny.

We cruised around on the river for a while (a while too long for my taste) and BT showed off his wakeboarding skills (not bad, but a little shaky). He has a tattoo of his last name written in cursive across his left breast. His friends teased him...I'm sure he gets that a lot. We finally got off the boat at around 8 pm and we dropped off a couple of his friends because one of them had borrowed his truck. Then we stopped by to pick up our bikes. We went back to his house and started dinner. He barbecued a striped bass, that he had caught (just for me!) the day before. He also grilled asparagus and some potatoes. He opened a bottle of Zin (my favorite - and his, as well) and had classic rock playing through the satellite system. We finally sat down to eat at about 9:30 pm. Fabulous meal, good conversation. What more could I want? Oh - just to make out with the young hottie, that's all.

It was almost midnight (where did the time go??) and I said I should head out. I put my stuff together and he walked me outside. He got my bike from his truck and disassembled it and put it in the backseat of my car. It was gorgeous outside. It's completely dark and really, really quiet. The only sounds were crickets and frogs, and I could see tons of stars. His animals were hanging around - 3 dogs and 2 cats. One of the dogs, a Great Dane, was trying to chase one of the cats and that wasn't going over too well. BT had to discipline the dog and try to get another dog to quit barking. Comedy.

He gave me a hug goodbye and thanked me for coming over. I was a little disappointed - just a hug? Oh well. At least that was a sign that he only thought of me as a friend. No prob. But we kept talking, and we were both leaning against my car, next to each other. I moved over just a tad and was kind of touching his arm area with mine. Then he moved closed to me, and while we were talking, put his arm around me. He was sort of rubbing my side - nice. I hugged him again, and sort of lingered in the hug. He is pretty tall, so I had to make an effort to have my face anywhere near his. I pretty much gave him the opportunity to kiss me, which he did - thank goodness. I was standing as high on my tippy-toes as possible in order to keep kissing him - I was afraid I was going to lose my balance and fall over! The kissing was very nice - soft and sensual. Oh my. Serious chemistry. Uh oh. This continued for a little while - I dunno, a minute or two? Hard to estimate. Then I left...he said something like he would talk to me or see me soon. God I hope so. I had a huge smile on my face as I was driving home - totally giddy.

We e-mailed on Monday and I thanked him for dinner. I said I had a great time, and told him I would return the favor. He wrote back and said "glad I wasn't the only one" with regard to having a great time. I took that as positive. He called me this afternoon, I was at work and my phone was on mute. He left a message. I was ridiculously excited that he called. In his message, he said "hey pretty lady...". How cute. Of course, to him I am a lady. A "ma'am". Oh no! When we were eating dinner he asked me how old I was. He never knew...good thing he doesn't seem to mind.

I called him back tonight and we talked for about half an hour. Good stuff. No future plans were made, but I'm not worried about it. It'll happen. As for number 101? Yeah, that'll happen too.

Picnic

2009-04-16T21:44:00.001-07:00

I talked to the Boytoy today to confirm we are on for Sunday - our bike ride and dinner. He wanted me to come over in the morning, since it's going to be "hot" - 85 degrees, please. That is mild for Sacramento. I told him I had a bridal shower luncheon and could be there at 3:30 pm at the earliest. He said he was planning a picnic. A picnic! How adorable. I said that he promised to make me dinner and I was holding him to it. I also asked him to let me know if he thought he might be in jail over the weekend, seeing as how last time we had dinner plans, he was in the joint. He was 50% certain that he would not be behind bars on Sunday. Good enough. Oh my gosh. I have NEVER fantasized about a guy the way I do about him. But I don't want a "relationship" with him...just meaningless physical activity. I told him we could still have a picnic for dinner, and he said, oh yeah, we can eat outside. I said eating outside is the same thing as a picnic. I'm right now picturing us sitting on a blanket in his backyard, surrounded by an orchard and looking at tons of stars above. And then spontaneously making out. Mmmm...

I went to dinner tonight with a bunch of old people from the conference I'm attending. I kind of regretted it but then the bill was taken care of so it worked out for the best. Lots of wine and I ordered clam chowder (we were at a touristy restaurant on Fisherman's Wharf here in Monterey) that was way too fattening, all I could taste was full-fat cream and butter - ugh. The Grgich Hills Zin was nice. Zin is my favorite wine. I told a random story about a nudist resort and I inadvertently practically yelled out "NUDIST RESORT" so everyone at the table could hear me. Oops. Apparently half the restaurant heard me too. The two pre-teen boys at the table next to ours were all ears. It was a total faux pas. Oh well, kids have to learn this stuff sometime. Good times for the parents. "Daddy, what's a NUDIST RESORT?"

I went for a walk this morning in a beautiful park near my hotel. Much to my horror, the park was full of homeless, scary looking men who looked like they wanted to rape and strangle me and leave me for dead in the wooded ravine below. Yikes. Fortunately I survived. I am getting used to living in this hotel. I love traveling for work, despite the scary morning hike. I do kind of miss Sebastian, though.

Just Friends

2009-04-14T22:53:00.000-07:00

My nearly 44-year-old ex-boyfriend is dating a 26-year-old. I don't know why this bothers me, but it kind of does. What do they talk about? I mean, he was 9 years older than me to begin with. It's like he gets older but the women stay the same age. So unfair. One consolation is that he's dying his hair. I'm a little embarrassed for him. He looked fine last time I saw him, with salt and pepper in his dark brown (receding) hair. Much to my surprise, the gray is gone and has been replaced with an obvious looking reddish-brown dye. Not a good look.

So I go down to L.A. to stay with him for a weekend (just as friends...those feelings have long since disappeared) and he sends me a text when I was out shopping to let me know it's going to be a "full house" since "the girlfriend" is spending the night. Wha?? He never mentioned this girlfriend before. I really think he should have brought this up in conversation at some point! I felt really awkward about the whole thing. I was at the apartment when they walked in. She's a petite Filipino woman with long hair and huge fake boobs. NICE. I thought she looked like she was in her late 30s.

The next morning (I left the house to take a bike ride before she woke up) I was chatting with Greg and he says "so you met my 26-year-old plaything" kind of laughing. I said, "Oh, I thought she was at least 36!" Seriously. Apparently they are not serious and they've only been going out for a couple of months. Still, I think he should have mentioned her before instead of just springing it on me. Oh well.

I have a date with a younger man this weekend, so there! At least, I think it's a date. We're going for a bike ride and then he's cooking me dinner. But he has referred to me as 'just"his friend, so who knows. In my experience, guys don't invite girls over for dinner unless they have some sort of romantic interest. I've been wrong before (oh so many times) but we shall see.

Date with a Felon?

2009-03-18T21:08:00.001-07:00

I have an update regarding the guy who stood me up because he was in jail the night of our date. http://adventuresinthe916.blogspot.com/2009/02/stood-up.html

I saw him last Friday. Our mutual friend was having a party at a club, so we made plans to go together. Oh, he isn't allowed to drive because of the DUI charges, right? His sister dropped him off in Sacramento. He is still unemployed, too, so he had plenty of time to hang out on Friday afternoon. He brought his bike with him. He rode his bike over to my house (as I'm writing this, I feel like I'm a teenager talking about a high school date!) at about 7:30 pm. I had just finished getting ready. I was wearing my platinum blond wig. He liked :) We hung out and I ironed his new shirt. I actually kind of like ironing, so I offered. He took a shower and I made us dinner. We had a couple of beers, and watched FNL (Friday Night Lights). We left for the club a little after 10 pm. We were the first ones there. Oh - he was wearing a navy blue pinstripe suit with a vest, with a light blue shirt and a pink paisley tie. And white shoes. I don't understand the shoes, but oh well. He looked hot as usual, despite his lack of fashion sense.

The club was not terribly interesting, just a typical lounge-club playing music I don't know, filled with people 10-15 years younger than me. The girls all seemed to be wearing these terribly ill-fitting and unflattering dresses that are made of cotton and are short, ending right under the ass and emphasizing the gluteus area. Not a good look for about 95% of women. A lot of guys had mohawks. ??? We had a reserved VIP booth with bottle service. Oooh. I decided I was ready to go home at around 1 pm. I was going to leave him there because I had no idea where he was and figured he was having fun and I didn't want to force him to leave. He could have taken a cab to my house.

I was leaving and he and my other friends yelled my name from the smoking patio, where they were apparently hanging out (not smoking, though). They tried to get me to stay but I insisted I was ready to leave. I was walking to my car and he chased after me and asked if he could come with me. He asked if I was going to leave without him...aw.

Back at home - I was getting ready for bed, in the bathroom brushing my teeth. I walked into the hallway and much to my shock, he was standing there, leaning against the wall holding his toothbrush, wearing only a pair of plaid flannel boxers. OH MY. He is freaking hot. Almost took my breath away.

Anyway - he slept in my roommate's bed. She was away for the weekend. I am pretty sure he would have welcomed an invitation to stay in my room.

We walked to breakfast in the morning. He picked up the check - pretty nice for a guy who doesn't have a job! Walking back, we ran into my friend who lives nearby and was walking with her dogs. I knew what she was thinking...and wondering. I saw her later and answered her question, saying NO, nothing happened!

I drove him (and his bike) home. It was a really nice and scenic drive along the river road south of town. He directed me on a bit of a scenic drive when we got to the Delta, and then we went to his house, where he lives with his sister. I hung out there for a while and then took off to go back home. It was a nice morning, I enjoyed hanging out with him. I have to admit it was nice to have a hot guy hanging out around my house again.

Today he sent me an e-mail inviting me over to his house for dinner sometime, telling me he "caught me a delicious bass". Hilarious - I love that line from Napoleon Dynamite. He also attached a photo of the fish! How could I say no??

20 Hours

2009-02-21T20:20:00.000-08:00

Friday, Feb. 20 was a long, long day. I woke up at 6:00 a.m. and took the 7:40 train to San Francisco. I was pretty excited about a number of things I had planned for the day. My original reason for traveling to SF was to attend the SF Chamber of Commerce's annual luncheon. I didn't have to be there until around 11:30 a.m. I arrived and unfortunately, my name wasn't on the list. I had to wait for a while until the event coordinator found a seat for me. I lucked out, though, and was seated at one of the sponsors' tables, pretty close to the stage. The company is run by a group of young guys who have a lot of experience with start-ups. They are involved in blogging (clean tech, sustainability issues) and the solar industry. I was quite fascinated by what they're doing and we talked about ways to connect my boss to their work, and have him write for their blog, etc. I was really inspired and happy to have had the chance to meet them. I was talking to one of the co-founders and asking him about his previous experience. He explained that this was his sixth start-up and that he just sold his last company, a search engine, for $100 million. Amazing - and totally beyond my comprehension. Wow.

I left the lunch and had several hours before my next appointment. I walked about a block away to a park called Yerba Buena Gardens. It's an urban park across the street from the SF MOCA - Museum of Contemporary Art - and next to the Metreon, which is a shopping center with an IMAX theater inside. It was sunny with some clouds and pretty warm, probably in the mid-60s. I got some frozen yogurt and found a bench. I proceeded to make a bunch of phone calls and check my work e-mail to catch up on some tasks. I called one of my good friends from college who lives in So Cal with her husband and three young children and was happy to reach her. She was driving to her mom's house because OK! magazine called her to get dirt on Nadya S., the woman who had the octuplets. My friend went to high school with Nadya. She was going to look for old photos at her mom's house. She wasn't sure if she was going to give a statement to the magazine or not. Anyway - we talked a little bit about what was going on with the state budget and she asked me what was going to happen with my job, and if my office's budget was safe. I assured her that we weren't going to be affected, and that our staff wasn't impacted by the furlough.

Shortly after getting off the phone with her, I called my co-worker in Sacramento and she told me that the Governor was holding a press conference at 2 p.m. where he was going to talk about making budget cuts to our office! I was really surprised. He announced that he was cutting our budget by 62%, and cutting the budgets of the other constitutionals by 10%. Unbelieveable. I was shocked - still am. It's a political ploy, meant to punish my boss for some negative things he said about the budget that was passed. Nothing he said was untrue, but he should have known that retaliation happens. It's incredibly upsetting. It was the main headline on the front page of the paper, and the story was in virtually every paper in the state. The cuts go into effect when the new fiscal year begins, on July 1. Apparently we'll find out soon, maybe next week, who stays and who goes. Needless to say, the office will be trimmed back to a bare bones operation. I have no idea where I stand. I'd like to think I'll be one of the chosen few, but even if I am, I'm not sure if I'll want to stay. I have a lot of thoughts on this that I won't share here, but they're not happy thoughts.

With all of this in my head, I leave at about 4:30 p.m. on the BART train to Berkeley, where I met up with a girl who participated in the Germany fellowship program I did a few years ago. She is a recent alum of the program, having just returned last June. I really enjoyed meeting her and hearing about her experiences. She works in the solar industry in the Bay Area and her year in Germany helped her make the transition into that industry. We met at a cool brewpub called Jupiter on Shattuck Street in downtown Berkeley. They have a line of German beers including Hefeweizen and Koelsch, and they have a nice outdoor Biergarten. We talked about organizing an event for Nor Cal alumni of the program.

I headed back to SF via BART and hoped to arrive a little sooner so that I could make it to another happy hour. I met a guy last summer at a work event and I have a huge crush on him. He sent me an e-mail the night before inviting me to a happy hour for people who work in the solar industry. I was super excited and really wanted to go, but as it turned out I didn't have time. I was getting picked up for a date at 7:30 and had to get back to the Marriott so I could pick up my stuff and get ready. This was the guy I met two weeks prior at my cousin's birthday party.

I arrived at the Marriott at about 7:10. I changed into jeans and freshened up my hair and make-up. I waited outside and he showed up a little late, probably around 7:40. We went to his apartment and I left my stuff at his place. He changed his clothes. I don't want to sound like a snob (I admit, sometimes I am...) but I wasn't crazy about his apartment. He's 35 and as far as I know, a pretty successful guy, but his place screamed college or recent college grad. He has a nice flat-screen TV but otherwise, no nice furniture. Pretty sparsely decorated. It was fairly clean. It was quite small. Small kitchen, one bedroom, small living area and a bathroom. I guess it's fine for one person but it reminded me of what people have to sacrifice for living in a city like SF. Space! Plus his garage is about a 5 minute walk down a hill from his apartment. I thought to myself, this isn't a place I would like to spend a lot of time in - which would be the case if I was dating him and seeing him regularly.

We found a cab fairly quickly and went to a Peruvian restaurant in SOMA. It was quite nice. Very cozy and romantic, I suppose. He ordered ceviche, which we shared, and I ordered something from the tapas menu that was pretty good. We shared a bottle of wine. I had a good time, we had a good conversation, but I realized pretty quickly that I wasn't feeling any chemistry. I wanted to - he is an attractive guy, smart, we seem to have a lot in common - and he seems to be quite fond of me. He paid for dinner. We walked a few blocks to a bar but decided to get a cab and head to a place closer to where he lives. We went to a bar and he ordered a drink and I got a water. I was getting pretty tired, it was about 1 a.m. We walked back to his apartment, where I was planning on sleeping. We sat on the couch and chatted for a while. At this point I knew for sure that I wasn't feeling it. When he kissed me goodnight, I was absolutely certain. I don't want to say the guy is a bad kisser, but let's say that our styles were not compatible. That's very important to me - kissing is key! I just didn't feel attracted to him whatsoever. It was a little awkward but I had to make the best of it. I knew we were going to go out for breakfast in the morning and decided I'd give it another chance and see how I felt in the morning. Clearly, I wasn't going to sneak out early in the morning. We finally went to sleep after 2 a.m. - a 20 hour long day for me. Oh, I slept on the couch. He lives in a corner apartment in a corner building right on the cable car line. Very loud!

We woke up and got ready and he took me to this secret coffee place called Blue Bottle. I guess it's not a secret, there was a long line, but it's this kind of hidden place in an alley in Hayes Valley. He said it's the best coffee in SF. We got lattes and they were delicious. We ate breakfast (bagels) at a nearby cafe and I was looking at him across the table while we were eating, and I just knew for sure that I didn't feel anything for him. Bummer. I wanted to like him - I like the idea of him! But these things can't be forced. He wanted me to hang out for the day, but I told him I had to head back to Sacramento. I didn't even have a change of clothes, and I wasn't wearing comfortable shoes. Plus he knew about the issues with my job and that I was pretty worried about it. He drove me to the Amtrak station in Emeryville and the next train wasn't for another hour, so we went to the mall and walked around and looked in some shops. He told me he wanted to see me again...but that he is away for the next two weekends. That's not a bad thing. He gave me a hug and kissed me on the cheek. I really didn't want to kiss him again, so that was a relief.

I got a text from him when I was on the train. It said he had a great time with me and he'd love to see me again. I haven't responded - I don't think it's gonna happen. Obviously I'll contact him again, and I wouldn't mind getting together with him for dinner or a drink sometime on a friendly basis, but not on a date.

Back to the drawing board - but really, I have bigger things to worry about these days than dating, so it's not that big of a deal.

Encouraging News

2009-02-12T21:40:00.000-08:00

I was in SF last Friday on the occasion of my cousin's birthday. She invited a bunch of people to meet up at a bar called Mars Bar on Brannan Street. My friend K. met me and we went to dinner at Paragon. I learned that my cousin has a lot of friends - a lot of guy friends. She introduced me to one who I thought was pretty cute and apparently he returned the sentiment. We ended up hanging out for the rest of the night - my friend left early. He got my number and we established that we were going to see each other again in two weeks. Yay! I like him. He is cute, nice, respectful, intelligent, etc. At least he seems to be...

He called me on Sunday night and I finally talked to him on Tuesday after a couple days of phone tag. We made plans to meet up on Friday night, Feb. 20 in SF. I will be there for work already.

Then, my friend who lives in DC is trying to introduce me to some other guy in SF who is the best friend of her friend's husband. I think he is supposed to call me. I don't know anything about him or what he looks like, but I'm open to meeting him. Why not.

Stood Up

2009-02-12T21:23:00.000-08:00

I encouraged (but did not start) a flirtation with a guy who I probably shouldn't be flirting with, but I admit I welcomed the attention, since my relationship with R. had recently ended. We agreed on an evening for him to come over and cook me dinner. We are friends, but he is super hot and I can't stop myself from fantasizing about him. I'm not sure what I thought would have happened when he came over, but I would have welcomed a variety of scenarios, including him having too much to drink and being forced to spend the night at my place. Where the couch would be way too short for him, seeing as how he's about 6 foot 5. And 24 (years old, that is). Anyway - as our date approached, I hadn't heard from him so was somewhat concerned. I figured he had changed his mind, but that it was unlike him to not even let me know or come up with some kind of excuse. The evening arrived and I assumed he was flaking, so I made other plans that involved going to the gym and making shrimp tacos for myself. Never heard from him. No Facebook, no e-mail, no text, no call. Hmmm. I waited a couple of days and sent him a note on FB that said something like "it would have been nice to get a call..." but nothing too mean. We were supposed to have dinner on a Wednesday night. I got a voicemail message from him on Saturday morning telling me he was sorry that he couldn't make it on Wednesday night, but that he had been "busy". Then he said that actually, he wasn't busy, he had been in JAIL! WTF? I was laughing. I wasn't sure if he was making it up or not. I waited a couple of days and called him back. He told me that he got pulled over for drunk driving on Sunday (Super Bowl Sunday) and he happened to have four guns in his truck. Apparently the police weren't too pleased about that and they arrested him and threw him in the county jail. He called his sister and thought she could bail him out, but then learned that his bail was set at half a million dollars. Guess not. He stayed in jail almost all week, until his arraignment. So I guess that was a pretty good excuse. He told me that he was telling his cellmate (a word he didn't think he'd use in reference to himself!) that he had dinner plans with a "lady" on Wednesday night that he was going to miss. Unbelievable. I guess this was a sign that it wasn't meant to be! Now the guy can't drive and he lives sort of far away, and I'm certainly not planning to go see him. The next time I see him (if he doesn't get jail time for the felonies he was charged with) will be next month at a mutual friend's birthday party in downtown.

A Day in the Life

2009-01-26T22:39:00.000-08:00

I thought today was a fairly typical day, so why not share the mind-numbing details. I woke up at 7 a.m. but was really already awake, because my roommate was getting ready and I could hear her. I took a shower - even washed my hair. I decided to wear my glasses today because I knew I was going to be spending a lot of time staring at the computer monitor at work. Lots of writing and editing to do on a report I'm working on. I wore a cream-colored turtleneck sweater that I bought a couple years ago from Macy's. It's INC brand. With that, I wore a pair of brown slacks that is part of an Anne Klein suit I got on clearance at Ross last year, and a pair of gold flats from Target. Mossimo brand. I packed a lunch - frozen entree, naturally - and headed to the light rail. Got to work around 8:30 and briefly considered going to get a coffee and something fattening to go with it for breakfast, but my co-worker convinced me to eat oatmeal instead. I worked a decent amount today, in between checking my personal e-mail and facebook accounts. I forgot that I had signed up to attend a luncheon seminar that included a free lunch. I went to that with two co-workers and listened to an economist talk about the recession. Nothing new. Had some decent salads, some delicious bread and a cookie. Afterward, I walked a few blocks to the central library because I needed something for my class, but when I got there and tried to open the front door, I realized what I already knew: the library is closed on Mondays. Durr. When I was leaving, I ran into a friend who was on her way to the courthouse. She thinks she'll get selected to serve on a jury. Kind of cool to see her. Went back to work and decided I needed a treat to help get through the afternoon. I went to Chicory, a close-by coffee place I like, and got a non-fat caramel latte. I found some cookies in the fridge at work and ate one of those. Mmm. I got down to business and before I knew it, it was 4:30 pm. I figured, I'd done enough work for one day and spent the rest of the "work day" doing personal business, like planning social engagements for the next two weeks. I felt pretty accomplished by the time I left at about 5:10 pm. Took the light rail, got home and fed the cat. Changed into workout clothes and went to the Y. Stopped at Safeway afterward and bought food for dinner and then some. Came home, turned on the oven, popped in some fish (coconut-crusted tilapia, yummy) and took a quick shower. I changed into some comfy sweats and prepared dinner. I made a spinach salad with carrots to accompany the fish. I watched the second half of a Two and Half Men re-run and then settled in to watch The Bachelor, one of my favorite Guilty Pleasures. My roommate watched too. Nice way to learn about American culture, huh? She's from Japan. During commercials I did stuff around the house, like wash dishes and change my sheets. I'm very productive in 4-minute spurts. On occasional commercial breaks, I maintained my position on the couch and read sections of the Sunday paper that I didn't get to yesterday, such as Parade and the Forum, Business and Travel sections. I also played with the cat, who was seeking attention. The Bachelor ended at 10 and I figured I'd go to bed, but wanted to check my e-mail (yes, I am obsessed). I logged on to the computer, synced my Ipod and then started typing in the blog. Then the phone rang (??) and it was my friend C. calling from her hotel room in SF. I chatted with her for 42 minutes. Now it is 11:36 p.m., about an hour past my usual bedtime. I'm tired...will head upstairs and take out my contacts, brush my teeth and probably forgo my usual few minutes of reading before bed. Good night!

Writing Class

2009-01-20T22:02:00.000-08:00

I signed up for a journalism class at the local community college and tonight was the first class. I'm thinking that this may be the best $66 I'll ever spend. First and foremost, the instructor is kind of cute. AND he's not wearing a wedding ring. Hmmm. There do not appear to be any attractive male students, however. The people in the class are really interesting and come from an amazing variety of backgrounds. They are people who I would ordinarily not encounter, and we're all going to get to know each other really well because we are going to be reading each other's article drafts every week. Students range in age from 19 to 60+ and are a mix of ethnicities, including Asian, Latino, white, black and mixed races. Apparently, Sacramento City College is one of the most diverse colleges in the country. Most of the people in the class already have some experience with writing or journalism. It's a class specifically geared toward writing for publication. We're going to learn how to write articles for magazines and get paid for it. Or, at least, that's the goal. I have some ideas already but I'm hoping to get inspired and the class will help us to learn about developing unique story ideas. Tonight we had to interview one of our classmates and give a short introduction about that person. We came up with our own sets of questions. One of the more creative questions was "what's your favorite curse word?" Rather clever. For homework, we have to bring in a magazine that we'd like to write for, and find out what their writing guidelines are. I have homework! For the first time in...I guess 4 years or so, since the last time I took a formal class. That would have been a German class, in Germany.

The Pros of Being Single

2009-01-14T21:17:00.000-08:00

Becoming single again after having been in a relationship, I've come to recognize a number of positives:

1) no sharing a bed with a guy who snores = being able to get a full night's sleep every weekend
2) no waking up way early on the weekends because he wakes up early
3) not having to be so concerned about "maintenance", i.e. grooming (very time consuming)
4) definitely no need to worry about the possibility of getting pregnant!
5) no more stressing about whether he's into me or not (clearly, that question has been answered)
6) no worries about vacuuming and lint rolling up all the cat hair before he comes over (allergic)
7) saving gas by not driving to his place in the 'burbs
8) not feeling guilty about fantasies involving a hot 24 year old former co-worker
9) having more free time to spend with people I truly care about
10) I'm sure there's a 10th reason...it'll come to me!

Breaking Up Sucks

2009-01-14T21:14:00.001-08:00

One of the worst things about a break up is having to tell all your friends and family members about it. You're essentially forced to repeat a depressing tale over and over again.

Time to be Thankful

2008-11-25T21:19:00.000-08:00

Things I am thankful for:

On a macro level, I am thankful to live in the United States. This is not a perfect place, and there are a lot of problems, but less fortunate people all over the world would love to live here. I'm also thankful to be a Californian. Sometimes I identify more as a Californian than as a U.S. American. I say U.S. American because that's what they called me in Germany, to distinguish us from other Americans - Canadians and Mexicans. Makes sense!

I'm thankful that Obama was elected President!

I'm thankful that I live in a nice place, have a comfortable bed to sleep in, and have more than enough food to eat every day. Seriously - way more than enough food!

I am thankful for my family - they are living close by, they are successful career-wise, and healthy. I am lucky to have a mom and dad who are very supportive. Sisters – have become friends and are cool people to talk to and spend time with. Brother – need to work on re-connecting with him.

I'm thankful for my awesome and amazing group of friends, in Sacramento and far beyond! My friends ARE my family. What's great is that I've gotten to choose them and hopefully – they choose me too. I love them so much and have such a wonderful network of close and peripheral friends who are great people and enjoy going out and having fun and spending time together. I don't know what I'd do without them – they mean the world to me.

I am thankful for my pet cat – so cute and adorable, even though bratty and annoying sometimes. How sweet to have a cute and warm cat curl up and sleep at the end of your bed every night and be a cuddly little companion to love.

I am extremely thankful for my job, at a time when many people have an unsure financial future and the unemployment rate is growing every month. Sometimes I complain about it, but I know I'm incredibly lucky to have this position. A lot of people would like to be working where I'm working. I'm thankful for earning a (relatively) generous salary with great benefits while working regular hours and not being stressed out. I am thankful for the opportunity to have a good work-free time balance and not have to worry about working on the weekends, or whether my organization is going to have enough funding to keep me around (hopefully). I'm thankful that my position allows me a great deal of flexibility and opportunities to travel, both within CA and overseas (2nd China trip coming up in February!).

I am very thankful for my house – after one year, I'm still loving it. I adore the house, think it's very cute and cool, and love going home to it every night. I am thankful that I have a little yard to spend time in, trying to get things to grow and stay alive. I'm thankful that I don't have a big yard to take care of, as that would be too much of a burden. I never thought I'd have a house all on my own, I always thought it was just something you invest in when you get married. Thank goodness I saw the light and realized that home ownership wasn't some romantic thing, it's an investment and usually a wise one.

I'm thankful for my freedom and independence. I'm glad that I have occasional romantic relationships (emphasis on occasional) because it's a nice ego-booster when a good-looking guy wants to spend time with me, but I am so used to being on my own, it's hard to imagine all the sacrifices and compromises I would have to make in order to make a long-term commitment to someone else. I still hold out a little bit of hope that I'll meet someone one day who will have similar or the same goals and ideals as me, and who wants the same things out of life. Until then, I'll just appreciate what I have while I have it and enjoy my freedom.

We all get frustrated and annoyed at little things every day - that's human nature. When this happens, I try to remind myself how lucky and fortunate I am, compared to most other people in the world, and my problems seem so miniscule in comparison. For example - look at what is happening right now in Zimbabwe and the Congo. Horrifying - and looking at the situations over there makes me realize I have nothing to complain about. Even here in Sacramento, people are going hungry and waiting in lines for hours at the food bank to get a holiday meal package. There was an article in the paper today showing a long line of people, mostly elderly, waiting in line for their Thanksgiving food package. One of the ladies was crying, she was so frustrated and tired from standing in line for hours. How heartbreaking. On Thanksgiving morning, thousands of people, including me, will be participating in a charity run/walk with proceeds going to the Food Bank. I can't donate much, but it's something.

Keeping things in perspective is important - gratitude and thankfulness is something that should be part of our lives every day, not just on Thanksgiving. It's so easy to be selfish because that's what our culture encourages.

Long Shot

2008-11-23T20:29:00.001-08:00

I felt compelled to submit an application to be considered for a presidential appointment. I have no desire to move to DC, or to change jobs right now, but figured what the hell. I'm so excited that we are going to have a Democratic president again, and even more excited that GW Bush is outta there. I would feel incredibly honored to serve in the Obama administration, especially now that Hilary Clinton has been appointed as Secretary of State. Yay! What a great choice, and I'm glad that she has decided to accept. I think it shows great strength of character on her behalf. I would love to have the opportunity to work under her and help improve our country's reputation internationally.

The application process was very simple. I went to www.change.gov and filled out some basic information indicating that I was interested in applying for an appointed position. A few days later, I was forwarded a special link that said only I could use. I filled out the online application, which requested basic information career and academic experience and also had a number of areas in which applicants could indicate which agencies and even specific positions they are interested in. I wanted to appear to be as flexible as possible, and selected State Department, Commerce Department, US Trade Rep, and several others. There were a couple of opportunities to write something, and I said I'd also be interested in overseas diplomatic postings.

The chances of even getting selected for an initial phone interview are, I'm sure, extremely miniscule. But, you never know if you don't try. No idea what I would do if I were actually to be offered a job. First of all - I have this house, and there's no way I could sell it. I don't want to sell it, anyway. I could rent it out for probably half of what the monthly mortgage costs. So I would have to live in a college-student type of housing situation in DC, like I did when I was going to grad school. Live in a house with a bunch of other people and just rent a room and furnish it from IKEA. Good times. But - nothing I have to worry about at this time.

The Last Two Months

2008-11-10T21:07:00.000-08:00

I realized tonight that R. moved to town two months ago, and that's when my life changed a bit...definitely for the better. I think the main difference is that I've had less time to myself, which takes some getting used to. But I don't mind, because I am pretty crazy about him and really enjoy having him around. I never would have thought I'd be dating a guy who is: from Alabama, a Republican, a gun owner, and an ex college football player. Who drives a huge Chevy truck AND rides a Harley. Doesn't exactly sound like my type! But, he is also adorable, sweet, generous, smart, thoughtful, adventurous, and pretty much up for whatever I want to do. Since he's arrived, we've done the following: spent a weekend in Tahoe with a bunch of my friends, gone camping in the Sierras with his brother's family, spent a fabulous weekend in Napa Valley with some of his other family members, gone to Apple Hill, went bowling, saw female mud-wrestling (it was a fundraiser!), attended a celebration for Taiwan's national day in SF, had cocktails at the Starlight Room overlooking SF at night, and a bunch of other stuff. Oh - and he convinced me to go for a ride on his bike. As in, motorcycle. I was scared to death but didn't want to admit it! Never again...I get heart palpitations just thinking about it! Crazy.

This guy is talking about future plans...like taking a trip together after Christmas, and planning a ski weekend for his birthday in January. I feel a little apprehensive about stuff like that, but I take it as a good sign that he plans on sticking around.

Thing that perhaps freaks me out the most - he purchased a toothbrush for me! That I can use when I'm at his place. I thought he was joking at first. He was over here last week and asked me if I had a toothbrush for him. I was like "...uh...", wondering if he was serious (he was!) and went to go find one. Sure enough, he did buy one for me. I've used it already. It's a "medium" and not a "soft" like I prefer, but I'm not complaining. I actually re-organized my medicine cabinet to make room for his toothbrush (the one I provided for him). Weird.

This blog might be a bit boring for a while, if I keep on just dating one guy!

Happy Camping

2008-10-13T20:38:00.000-07:00

I just returned from my first (and possibly last!) camping trip. I'm a little embarrassed to admit that I'd never been camping before age 34. But, in my defense, it just wasn't something my parents were into, thus they never took us when we were kids. Plus, we had a cabin, so who needed tents?

I went camping for one reason and one reason only: because a cute guy invited me. What other good reason would there have been? I actually had fun, because I was with him. We went to Sequoia National Park, which is about an hour east of Visalia. And Visalia is 3 hours south of Sacramento. His brother and sister-in-law and their 3 daughters live north of L.A. and we met them there. They are experienced campers and brought everything for all of us.

The freezing cold weather, however, I could have done without. The temp definitely dipped into the 30s at night. Fortunately we were only there for one night.

Next trip with R. is October 25, for an Oktoberfest party in Napa at his cousin's house. A slightly more civilized setting, and will be just as much fun, I'm sure!

Feeling Better

2008-10-05T19:37:00.000-07:00

So, I guess I didn't have anything to worry about. (See last posting.) I feel relieved now. He thinks I'm a "beautiful girl." Yeah! I don't what part I'm more pleased about, the "beautiful" or the "girl." I'm just going to go with the flow and see what happens.

Too Much Thinking

2008-09-29T20:38:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking about a boy all day long and it's driving me crazy. I'm just trying to NOT think about him, because I am pretty sure he is not thinking about me this way! I hate this feeling of becoming smitten because it always results in disappointment, sooner or later. Usually sooner, which I suppose is better. He's just so easy to be around, and it's easy to like him, and want to spend lots of time with him. Meanwhile he probably just thinks of me as a pal, someone to hang out with until he meets a girl he wants to date. Waah...poor me. Oh well. I should just enjoy and have fun, but no, my brain gets in the way. I thought someone as old as me wouldn't waste so much thinking about guys, but I also thought a lot of other things about getting older that aren't true. Like, that I'd never get pimples anymore. Ha! That's a good one.

He's coming over on Thursday on his motorcycle to take me to dinner and he's bringing a DVD. He thinks it's a travesty that I haven't seen Napoleon Dynamite.

Crush Redux

2008-08-18T22:07:00.000-07:00

Guess I need to add another crush to the mix. This one is completely random. So, about 4 years ago, when I was living in Munich, I went to a work-related event and there were a bunch of Americans there, including a group of MBA students from a university in the South. One of the guys definitely caught my eye - he was tall, really cute, Southern gentleman, that whole thing. They were only in Germany for a few days, studying European business for their program. Being the gracious hostess that I am, I offered to show the guys around a bit. I took them out that night and then we met up again the following night too. I was getting along great with the one guy and thought for sure he kinda felt similarly about me...who knows. Turns out he had a girlfriend - I was ueber disappointed. Anyway - we kept in touch for a time, with e-mail. When I returned to the States, we continued to keep in contact a bit, talking on the phone a few times, mostly talking about job searching and such. He was interested in moving out to the west coast, and talked about Reno (why, I can't recall). Of course the girlfriend would be moving with him. Well, I heard from him out of the blue a few days ago. He sent me a friend request on LinkedIn and told me he had a job offer in Sac, and wanted my advice on places to live, etc. I was very excited but told myself, chill...the dude is probably married with kids by now. That's how my life works. I called him up yesterday and spoke with him for a while and it turns out he is not with anyone...yay! And it seems 99% sure that he's moving here. And I'm the only person he knows here. Yes! He'll be moving out here in a few weeks. I told him he could crash with me if he needed a temporary place and he seemed pretty interested in taking me up on that. Then we talked about him renting my room from me for a couple months, and I thought - sweet! Then after getting off the phone I realized, mmm, maybe not a good idea. If I want this guy to fall for me, he'd better not be too close for comfort right away - he'll just think of me as a buddy. I do not want to be just a buddy! Now I've got to convince one of my friends to take the guy in for a while, so I can tell him, oh, I found a way better and more convenient place for you to stay! Etc. I still think this is too good to be true. Hot guy I met in Germany 4 years ago all of sudden pops back into my life, is moving to my town, and is single?? No way. I suppose that stranger things have happened though. We'll see. Stay tuned. Sorry for the long paragraph!!

Crushing

2008-07-30T21:10:00.000-07:00

I have been feeling a little pathetic lately about all the crushes I have. I never thought that a 34-year old woman would still be having one-sided crushes on men. It's kind of sad. On the one hand, it's fun to think someone is cute and have a little attraction going, but on the other hand, wouldn't it be nice if these feelings were reciprocated once in a while? Um, yes! Well, let me list out these guys to put everything in perspective.

1) Aussie Guy. Hands down, he's been my #1 crush for the almost 2 years I've known him. I have been absolutely crazy about him ever since I first laid eyes on him. All this time, we've hung out together and on a few occasions, I allowed myself to think that maybe, just maybe, he felt slightly attracted to me too. Well, I'll never know. He's moving back to Oz. Actually, he flew back today. I had lunch with him a week ago today, and found out he has a new girlfriend! Bummer. Major disappointment. But really, it wouldn't work out anyway. Between me and him and probably between him and the new g-friend. I also went to his going-away party on Saturday night. I'm glad I went - he has a lot of cute friends, and it sort of felt like closure. But speaking of pathetic - I got a little drunk on vodka tonics and ended up leaving the party by myself. My friends decided to stay but I had to get back to Sacramento the next morning. I walked to the BART station by myself and I was a bit teary. I was pretty sad (also, emotions were fueled by the alcohol) that I'll probably never see him again. That is always hard. I was also regretting that I never even got to kiss him or anything. Big sigh.

2) Crush #2. This is a guy, who will go unnamed, who I met about 3 years ago. He is a friend of some friends. Same as with Aussie guy, I felt this instant attraction to him from the moment I met him. We've had this silly flirtation going on for a long time but nothing has ever happened. The intensity of my crush waned after a while, but every time I see him, I feel it a little bit. I still hold out some kind of hope that we might randomly hook up sometime. I don't want him to be my boyfriend - my aspirations are much lower than that. Plus, I don't think he's a relationship type of guy. I just think he's hot, that's all.

3) SF guy. I just met this guy a couple weeks ago, so he doesn't fall into the epic crush category like the guys above, but he's got potential. At this point, I'm still not sure if he is gay or straight. This is a common quandary when meeting guys in SF. I met him at a work event. I walked into this conference and there was a panel going on, and he was on the panel. I couldn't take my eyes off him - this one is hot and smart - major bonus. I saw him again yesterday. I arranged a meeting between him, me and several other people. Unfortunately I didn't get a chance to talk to him much, but I sent a "follow up" e-mail today so we'll see if I hear from him. Don't a lot of people meet their significant others through work?? Can't it be a little easier than this? Sigh.

4) PG&E guy. This one ranks pretty low but it was the cause of a recent embarrassing moment. A hot PG&E guy has "serviced" my house a couple of times, and yes, I allowed myself to have a brief porn-like fantasy. Anyway - I saw him at a free concert about a month ago but didn't recognize him. I saw this very cute guy and I knew that I knew him, I just couldn't figure out how. He didn't seem to know me, or if he did, he wasn't acknowledging me. This mystery was really bugging me. My friend had a couple glasses of wine and went up and started talking to him. She told him that we thought he looked familiar and were wondering where he worked. I was out of earshot of her conversation. A few moments later she called me over and said "Michele, is this the cute PG&E guy you were telling me about?" I felt myself turn completely red and I looked up (he is pretty tall), smiled, and said, "yes." Oh god. His name is Joe. He is very, very cute and he remembered me! How exciting. Considering he goes into people's homes all day long, every day, I thought it was nice that he remembered me. However, we found out he has a girlfriend. Who lives in AUSTRALIA. What the hell?? He met her on myspace! I was pissed, thinking - here I am, a perfectly nice single girl living in Sacramento, and he is dating some chick in f-ing Australia? What is wrong with this picture, people? That was depressing. I saw him there again a couple weeks later and was proud of myself for going up and talking to him. He was there by himself. He remembered my name. "Michele, right?" He said. Yes! It's the little victories. I'm just hoping he will keep me in mind if (when) things don't work out with Miss Aussie.

These are just a few examples of my frustration with a lack of convergence of mutual interest between me and guys - in other words - why I am single. This is why. I like guys who do not like me (as more than a friend) and I suppose there have been guys who like me more than I like them. In any event, I never meet anyone who likes me back, or at least that I know of. So, this is a very long way of answering the question "why are you [still] single?"

Shock

2008-05-12T21:37:00.000-07:00

I just heard that one of my friends died last night. He is not someone I consider a close friend. Regardless, he is someone I've known and hung out with socially for many years. I hadn't seen him for a while and was just asking our mutual friend about him on Friday night. She hadn't seen him for some time, either. It turns out he had a girlfriend, which explains why he was MIA. He and the girlfriend were at his house and got into a fight, which escalated and he pushed her down the stairs - or she fell, I don't know. Later that night, he was drunk - I think she was gone by then - and he got out his gun and shot himself. And he died. I guess I never really knew him. He was 39 years old, I think. Maybe 40. He was a very successful guy by all measures. He had a bachelor's and a master's degree. He had a great career doing business strategy at Intel in Folsom. He had a beautiful, immaculately decorated home next to a lake in a nice neighborhood. For a short while, I lived near him and I would see him running on the levy bike path. He always drove the nicest cars and dressed well. I went out with one of his good friends a few times, he told me that R. always wanted to date the most beautiful girls because those were the types of women he wanted to be seen with. Outward appearances were very important to him. A few of us joked around that he was gay because he was sort of a "metrosexual" type of guy. It seems (seems being the key word, I suppose) like he had everything going for him. I don't get it. I don't understand why he wanted to end it all. Maybe I'll learn more later, but in the meantime, it's hard to know how I feel because this wasn't an accident, he did this to himself on purpose. I can't imagine how his parents, his other family members are feeling.

E-mail flattery

2008-03-27T21:55:00.000-07:00

I posted a profile on this free online dating website called "plenty of fish". One of my friends met a guy through the site. Granted, it didn't end up being a love connection, but I figured, why not. There's nothing to lose. I selected an SF zip code so I would get responses from city guys - an even bigger pond of fish, if you will. I've received tons of messages from geeky Indian IT guys, NASCAR fans, and just generally unattractive guys. But a couple of hotties have contacted me, which is nice. One guy in particular has captured my fancy with his very interesting (and probably hallucenigenic drug-induced) messages. Check it out:

Message 1:
Hello! you are indeed a woman of some substance it seems. Which exact substance i don't know but i know it must be a prescription of some kind because you are intoxicating. Okay that was corny.let me try again.Wow. You are insanely pretty. Beautiful in a non-lewd way. Someone you would be proud to bring home to your family.And so well spoken, and not over the top, yet, not boring... There is something to you and i sense sincerity and kindness and the face had me at first glance so i hope you have a heart or you may end up carving mine out (for lunch!)Bring it back, blonde. Kennedy

I replied and asked if that was a stock message he sends to all the ladies :)

Message 2:
Hi there, gentle and yet sublimely hot and curvy wonder woman of this absurd little jetty of internet dating (.com)No, that was not a "stock love rant". If it were so, i would have to have a team of scientists matching it to the DNA of each subject to make sure they are precisely astonished at the exact moment of pheremonal activity or something. Or wait, that was overthought. In other words, I write for a living, and sometimes stuff pours out of my heart, through my stupid mouth, and sometimes--if you are wildly attractive and non-psychotic, you will see it as a kind of absurd gift that someone with my blinding romantic acumen in writing women of your clear eloquence and grace can pull off in moments of pure inspiration. Call it a gift, a curse, but yeah, in less time than it took you to read this rant, i wrote the other one. I would only write you original, in-the-moment, experiental, non-tangential, and always entertaining prose. In lieu, of course, of actually being in your presence, coercing you with****ails, and aiming my laser beam movie smile in your direction occasional to inpsire giddy femininity, hair twirling, and possible hallucinations (or gagging). Either way, you are defintely tall enough to ride the Kennedy Ride, so buckle up, and question the sincerity and inspiration again at the peril of being bored by the other weiners on this system, I daresay (sips martini)with a slightly raised eyebrow,and a dazzling smile. Kennedy

I wrote him back and told him I was convinced his message to me wasn't a mass e-mail, and asked him what he wanted to know about me.

Message 3:
Thank you for the digital rose.[note: HE sent me a digital rose, it just got sent back to him when I replied!] I'll go put it in a digital vase and we can run off together digitally somewhere and have really great virtual sex! You are so good. Your joystick really is aptly named, she said (audience groans). Hey fire the writer!What do i want to know? Hmm. How many dates a week you go on. Are you looking for the same bone structure (perfect, presidential) for your guy (who i imagine would also be tall, rich and handsome, and not talk a lot like me). Have you sold your soul and lost your mind working in politics. Do you know Gavin's wife-to-be? Do you think Obama will get in or Hillary, (or McCain??). Do you have any STD's including the euphemized "Cold sores" (okay, sweetie, that's herpes). do you have a pet you talk baby talk to. Got anger issues? Germ phobic? Do you drink excessively? What anti-depressants are you on? Are you mormon, religiously fanatical, and would you fly a paper airplaine into my house of cards to prove a point? All those being joke questions really, you can see the gist of my jib, or the cut of my gist, or the jab of my boom, or the boom of my bluster. Either way, you light a fire under this writer. I daresay you should get your butt onto a nearby cushy barstool and help me put it out with some drinks (he said smoothly).What do YOU want to know?Kennedy

Dreamin'

2008-03-25T22:00:00.000-07:00

I had a very vivid dream last night that I met a guy, who I wasn't that into, but for some reason agreed to go with him on vacation to Canada. While on the plane ride, I started to really fall for him. At some point during the trip, he disappeared - he totally ditched me! I was very confused and was trying to find him. When we disembarked in Toronto, he was nowhere to be found. After I woke up, I thought to myself, why am I so concerned about this? This sort of thing happens to me all the time. I meet a guy, I start to like him, and he never calls me again, for no reason I am aware of.

Adorable

2008-03-09T22:30:00.000-07:00

I went on a second date tonight with a guy who thinks I'm adorable. He told me that several times while saying goodbye to me. He is leaving the ball completely in my court and told me that he would like to pursue dating me but that I have to call him. He was very straightforward, I have to give him credit for that. He is intelligent and funny and a good conversationalist, and I guess kind of cute. He is tall and has good hair and dresses well. He's a little metrosexual but I'm fairly assured that he's not gay. He is almost 35 and has a good job. He is divorced and has a little daughter. I'm not sure how attracted to him I am. I am wondering if him thinking I'm adorable is reason enough to go out with him again. Seeing as how I don't really have any other options for the time being, I'm thinking "yes".

I went out with the Aussie on Thursday night in the city and as always, had a fabulous time. I met him at his apt. and we walked into the Presidio. We had dinner at the Presidio Social Club. We went to Balboa Cafe after for a beer. Then I took a cab back to my hotel and he walked home. I found out he is kind of seeing someone but he made it sound as though it wasn't serious at all. So, once again, I go out with him and feel like he just likes me as a friend, although I think he does give off the occasional mixed signal. Who knows.

There is a guy who lives in So Cal who I've met a couple of times (friend of a friend) who I think is very cute and smart, etc. but he lives far away so I haven't really thought about it. I spoke to him on the phone yesterday for about an hour and may have the chance to see him sometime this spring. So, that could be interesting. A friendship, if nothing else.

Time to go to bed - have to be in the office early tomorrow morning because we are hosting a breakfast for hundreds of people. Crazy. At least I'm not directly involved, I will just have to smile and be friendly. Granted, this is difficult to do early in the morning.

Aussie Update

2008-02-28T21:05:00.000-08:00

I was super excited when my Aussie guy invited me to his b-day party in Tahoe on March 8 but after I had a chance to calm down and think about it more realistically, I decided there was no way I could go. I don't want to spend a weekend in Tahoe with him as friends, and I don't want to take the risk of him being up there with a girlfriend or other romantic interest. That would be way too disappointing for me. I wasn't planning to contact him about it unless he bothered to follow up with me. Today he emailed me with a detailed invite. Bummed that I can't possibly go, I wrote back and told him I couldn't make it but that he and I would definitely have to get together for dinner in SF to celebrate our birthdays - he is one day older than me. Not too much later, he wrote me back and I was really surprised at what he wrote - he said "Darn it. I was looking forward to introducing you to the crew." I don't get it. Why would he say it like that - "introducing me"? He could've just said " too bad, you would've had a good time hanging out with my mates" or something to that extent. Well, who knows. The point is that I continue to be totally confused by this guy. He did say that we'll go out for a glass of wine and dinner, though, and that he's around next week. Guess the key will be to drink more like a bottle of wine and see if he loosens up a bit. Check back next week for another update in this boring, slow saga...

My quasi date

2008-02-14T20:18:00.000-08:00

A simple definition of a "date" is when both people involved make plans to spend time together with the possibility of romance in their minds. So that's why my evening with the Aussie qualifies as a quasi date: I know for sure I had romance on the mind, but I had no indication of what he was thinking. Regardless, I had a fabulous time with him. I got to spend 6 hours with a guy I completely adore and lust after. That is not a bad way to spend an evening. I met him outside his office building. I was super busy working that day, in a series of meetings. I had about 30 minutes to change my clothes and freshen up before hopping in a cab to meet him. He greeted me with a kiss on the cheek - sweet. We walked to the Chinese restaurant where the reception was taking place. He got us both glasses of wine and we mingled and chatted with a variety of people. We left at 7:30 to head to his friends' apartment near the Haight. We walked to a nearby hotel to catch a cab to take us to his parking garage, back by his office. He got a new car last week - a black 2007 Toyota 4Runner. Nice. I don't approve of SUVs but he needs it because he goes up to Tahoe all the time. Oh - while we were in the cab, he invited me to his ski-lease cabin in Squaw Valley for a party on March 8. His birthday is the 9th, mine is the 10th. He said there would be about 20 people there and that there is a hot tub. I was SO excited. Ridiculously excited. We drove to his friends' place and arrived a little after 8. His friends just moved to their new apartment a week ago. They were very nice and I really enjoyed hanging out with them. Me and a bunch of Aussies. The friends are a married couple who are expecting a baby at the end of May. One other guy was there, a guy who lives in Sydney but was visiting SF for work. He was very attractive and married with a young child. So it was a cozy dinner party with the 5 of us. The food was excellent and we stayed until 11:30. He drove me to my hotel. He mentioned the Tahoe party again, so I took that as a good sign. But I have absolutely no idea if he thinks of me as more than a friend. Then again, he may feel the same way about me. When he dropped me off, he just said that he would call me when he was up in Sac next. I asked when that would be, and he said April. I laughed and said I was sure I'd see him before then. Then he said, oh yeah, Tahoe! So....hm. Confusing. At one point in the evening, when we were driving to his friends' place, he asked me what was up with my social life and I kind of thought he was wondering if I was dating anyone. But I was vague. He never mentioned to me that he and his g-friend broke up. I certainly didn't want to bring it up. I think I can assume, since he took me to the dinner party, that he isn't dating anyone, at least not seriously. His friend Haley seemed to know some information about me - she obviously asked him about me when he told her he was going to bring a friend. So that's kind of cool. I'm secretly hoping she'll call him up and tell him I'm wonderful and that he should go for it :). So - should I go to Tahoe? What if he has a girl with him? I guess there's always the possibility that there could be other hot Aussie guys there. Oh what I'd give to be in a hot tub with him...

Crazy

2008-02-08T21:03:00.000-08:00

I try to remind myself to be grateful for my job. At least 75% of the time, it is a really cool job. But there are some very strange things going on and it bothers me. I guess no job is perfect, and I should try to be more positive, but I can't help complaining. I think it really is a weird situation. First of all, I report directly to someone who seems to do very little work other than telling me what to do. Secondly, the big boss's wife is often coming in to the office and giving me assignments and telling me what I've done wrong, or how I should do things differently. Nice. Third, there are a group of co-workers who seem bent on controlling everything that goes on, and they're taking over parts of my responsibilities and telling me what to do. And of course I do whatever the big boss wants, but he is the most reasonable of the bunch. Does anyone else work in a situation like this? Is this even within the realm of normalness?

Details for Monday, December 10, 2007

2007-12-10T11:13:00.000-08:00

My alarm went off at 6:45 this morning. I was unwilling to wake up because I was still tired, my bed was warm, and the cat hadn't started begging for food yet. I got up at about 7 a.m. and felt like I was getting a cold or had allergies. I'm still not sure which is the case but either way it's not enjoyable. I took a shower and picked out an outfit. I settled on a nice, new suit that I just picked up from the dry cleaner on Friday. I blew dry my hair and left it straight (as opposed to putting it in curlers, which I do about half the time). I had already packed my lunch and my bag for work the night before, so the morning was not too hectic. Oh yeah, I did feed the cat. I walked out the door at 8:10 and caught the 8:18 light rail train bound for downtown. The light rail is about 2.5 blocks from my house. Train takes 6 minutes to reach my destination. I got off the train and went to La Bou for a bagel. I was starving. Although the scale told me this morning that I weighed about 4 lbs more than I want to, I still felt the need to eat a high-calorie, high-carb breakfast. Go figure. The office is about one block from La Bou and the train stop. Very convenient. I get into the office and see two huge platters of Noah's Bagels. Yum! How exciting. Even though I had a bagel already. Noah's is of much better quality than La Bou. I ate half a cinnamon-sugar bagel from Noah's (messy!) and then still ate the bagel I got. I also bought some chocolate mocha mix from Safeway yesterday, and I had two mugs of that. I spent quite a bit of time checking emails and doing personal work but now it's 11:18 a.m. and I have done some substantive work. I am leaving in about an hour to go home and get my car and drive to Oakland for a meeting. Afterward I plan to do some Christmas shopping for family members. So far, whenever I've attempted to shop for others, I only buy things for myself. That has to change. I'll have to continue this later. Need to call my boss and complete any preparation work to get ready for the meeting this afternoon. I also need to fill out my expense report for last month so I can get my reimbursement check.

(continued...) I went home and scarfed down some lunch, then drove to Oakland. I ran into some knarly traffic in Vacaville and thought I'd be late for the meeting, but luckily I arrived about 15 minutes early and everything worked out perfectly. Meeting went well. Afterward, went to get coffee with my boss and we discussed office gossip. My plan was to do some Xmas shopping. I stayed in Oakland and bought a gift (soup cookbook) for my mom. Then I headed for Walnut Creek but got a little lost in downtown Oakland, trying to find the 24 freeway. I called my friend Krista, who got online and helped steer me in the right direction. I went to Walnut Creek, which has a really beautiful downtown shopping area. It's especially nice this time of year, because the street are lined with trees, decorated with white lights. I was able to do some shopping for people other than myself, which was my goal. I left Walnut Creek, but first got lost trying to find the freeway. Of course. I figured it out on my own fairly quickly and wanted to be back home by 9:30 so I could watch one of my favorite shows, Notes from the Underbelly. I got in at about 9:35, so not bad. I watched the show, had some dinner (and ice cream), fed the cat, changed into pajamas, and was in bed by about 10:30. Pretty busy and long day, but mostly spent in transit, driving and stuck in traffic. At least I wasn't at my desk all day.

I love this song!!

2007-11-13T16:27:00.000-08:00

Everything's Magic...by Angels and Airwaves

And do you ever feel like you're alone?
And do you ever wish to be unknown?
I could say that I have..
I could say that I have..
And do you ever feel things here aren't right?
And do you ever feel the time slip by?
I can say that I have..
And I can say that I have..

So hear this please
And watch as your heart speeds up endlessly
And look for the stars as the sun goes down
Each breath that you take has a thunderous sound
Everything, everything's magic
Just sit back and hold on, but hold on tight
Prepare for the best and the fastest ride
And reach out your hand, and i'll make you mine
Everything, everything's magic

And do you ever lay awake at night?
And do you ever tell yourself don't try?
Don't try to let yourself downDon't try to let yourself down
And do you ever see yourself in love?
And do you ever take a chance, my love?
Because you know that I will..Because you know that I will..

So hear this please
And watch as your hearts speeds up endlessly
And look for the stars as the sun goes down
Each breath that you take has a thunderous sound
Everything, everything's magic
Just sit back and hold on, but hold on tight
Prepare for the best and the fastest ride
And reach out your hand, and i'll make you mine
Everything, everything's magic
Everything, everything's magic

So hear this please
And watch as your hearts speeds up endlessly
And look for the stars as the sun goes down
Each breath that you take has a thunderous sound
Everything, everything's magic
Just sit back and hold on, but hold on tight
Prepare for the best and the fastest ride
And reach out your hand, and I'll make you mine
Everything, everything's magic

LOVE it!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1bFvDAng3sA

Moving ON!

2007-11-13T16:22:00.001-08:00

So, I had three dates over the weekend. With three different guys. None of whom are 40-year old stoners. Yay!

A few helpful rules for men

2007-11-13T16:16:00.000-08:00

“Casual” Dating 101

When you are NOT looking to get into a relationship…

DO NOT

say “you’ve met me at the perfect time. I’m emotionally and mentally available.”
introduce her to your son
leave a bunch of your stuff over at her apartment
make future plans with her
spend tons of time with her and stay over at her place a lot

Why? Because if you do these things, you risk misleading her into thinking you want something more serious.

DO

indicate to her that you are dating others
let her know you are not ready to get into a relationship
be honest!

Other, general dating DON’Ts

Hypothetical Situation: the girl you are dating helps to arrange for you to be the featured artist at a weekend exhibit. The event takes place in a venue where you and the girl spent time together on the first night you met. One of the girl’s best friends works at the venue. Unfortunately, neither the girl nor her friend can attend, as they are both out of town that weekend.

At this event:

Do NOT, under any circumstances, pick up on the co-worker of the good friend of the girl you are dating.

[Also, as an aside, do not pick up on ANY of the girl’s friends. This should be common sense, but sadly, sometimes is not. Especially when alcohol is involved.]

Do NOT make out in public places with the co-worker of the girl’s good friend.

Do not bring presents to the co-worker in her place of work (remember, the girl’s good friend ALSO works there).

Most of all, do NOT invite the co-worker to come over and spend the night at your house the night before you and the girl are going on a weekend trip together.

Summary: IF you choose to date several women at once, make sure they DO NOT know each other. Remember, Sacramento is a small town!

Room for Rent, Prefer Young College-Aged Female

2007-11-08T13:22:00.000-08:00

Check out the creepy craigslist posting he submitted to try to find a roommate for the new house he is planning to move into:

I'm an artist and single father of a 9 year old boy, living in a large 3&2 with big front & back yards. I've moved in to increase my painting space - I'm using the garage... Though, it is a bit too expensive for me - so I'm looking for a short or long term renter to help out. I'd prefer a female student athlete or otherwise pro-active female(good example of a woman for my son)... FYI, I work for the Sacramento Convention & Visitors Bureau, and Maloof Sports & Entertainment. Holla! Let's chat... 916-549-2749.

Things he neglected to mention:
1) he is 40 yrs old
2) he smokes pot constantly
3) he will paint in the house, NOT in the garage
4) he has a thing for much younger women
5) he is totally messy and has really old, ugly and gross furniture, not to mention that his artwork, of varying quality, will be displayed on every wall of the house
6) I'm suprised he didn't say "I'm 6'5", a former model and actor, tan, physically fit, I play soccer and go kayaking, I cook sushi and like to give massages..."

This is too good not to post on the blog

2007-11-08T11:23:00.000-08:00

Background: I decided I really needed to get rid of the artist guy. I thought I could keep him around, but ultimately it wasn't working for me. Plus, I knew that he wasn't feeling it anymore either. I asked him if we could meet and he tried to put me off till next week. I said fine, then I changed my mind and sent him an email asking if we could meet sooner and that I was annoyed he was not making an effort. I said I had a number of things on my mind and needed to talk with him. This is what he wrote back!

Hi Michele, I feel ya! Please forgive me..."It's not you! It's me!" (How 'bout that for a classically over used generic blah!):-( ...I have a broken heart and I can't seem to get it healthy again... When I first met you - I was trying really hard not to focus on "it", but rather I was trying to forget and just move on... You stunned me. 'So, beautiful and smart and interested in who I was. You are awesome! Though, quickly the haunting returned and I tried to ignore it, but I failed. Now I am beating myself up and hiding myself as not to bother others with my self-pitiful dronings... I have NEVER felt such heart ache for soooo long. Maybe it's 'cause my mom isn't around to coo and tell me what I need to hear. I feel crazy blaming "hate"... then waves of "love"... then cascading self-doubt... then illogical hope.... then self-blame... and some where along the way, I remember life is sooo awesome! And that my son is depending on me to show him Love and teach him how to heal and be pro-active. Bottom line is that I feel a little "crazy" these daze, and helplessly heart broken. Please forgive me... I thought I could "move on"...You are awesome. 'Truly a class act! You are fun, smart, sexy,adventurous, generous, grateful, humble, loyal, trust worthy, I could go on & on... :-) I've already gone through 5 tissues at this point... So, I'd better get back to work before folk start noticing! Plus, I've got a 11:30am in Folsom - doh! Gotta go!!! Michele, I am sorry to confuse and frustrate you. You are super to me...Love bless - b

Infidelity

2007-11-04T17:34:00.000-08:00

Lately it seems like I keep encountering examples of real-life infidelity everywhere. Has it become so common to be unfaithful that it’s become acceptable, sometimes even expected? What are the incentives for staying loyal? Are people in relationships so insecure that they need to constantly seek outside approval to prove to themselves that they are still desirable? Never having been in a really serious or committed relationship, I’m not personally familiar with the monotony of being with the same person for a number of years. From what people tell me, marriage or other long-term relationships go through cycles and periods of ups and downs. Realizing this and having the patience to wait out the not-so-good times is what makes a lot of relationships work. I think Americans have this incredibly romantic ideal of love that is also unrealistic in the long run. Extramarital affairs of political figures and celebrities are splashed everywhere in the news, making infidelity much more public than it was in the past. Perhaps people have always been as disloyal as they are now, but it’s more acceptable to discuss now? I’m not sure. I have friends who are involved with married men. I know a woman who has been having an affair with a married man for years and years. I just heard about a woman who is 50, never married, who is involved with a married man. I have dated a lot of guys who’ve been cheated on by girlfriends and wives. My friend’s aunt and uncle, who’ve been married for 25 + years and have two grown children, recently split because he was having an affair with his young secretary. Cliché, but true. Another friend told me that at least three of the guys he works with cheat on their wives. One is supposedly “reformed.” A gay friend told a story of running into a guy he’d been intimate with. He said hello to him and the guy gave him the death stare. My friend quickly realized that the guy was with his wife. Oops. So, what is the point of my observations? Just another reason to avoid marriage. I feel, what’s the point? If it’s so acceptable to cheat, if loyalty is a value that people just don’t possess. What’s the incentive for staying true to one person? A lot of men have told me that the only reason to get married is if you want kids. That is not a very appealing thought – that guys get married just to have kids. Because, you can still be a parent and love your children while cheating on your spouse. In this day and age, cheating is a serious health concern too. STDs are incredibly common. It seems like people who cheat have a variety of excuses for why they do so. The people they cheat with, who are also committing adultery, also have a litany of excuses that make them feel OK about what they’re doing, who they’re hurting. Do they believe their own excuses?

House!

2007-11-04T17:33:00.000-08:00

I’m taking the plunge and becoming a homeowner. I know, this was always one of my biggest fears – the ultimate commitment. But, I’ve thought about it and thought about it and I happened to find a place I really liked, and it just seemed like the right thing to do. I’m not even freaked out about it. Not a bit. I haven’t quite come to terms with the fact that this means I have to move out of my apartment, though. I have a lot of stuff and I don’t know that I want all of my crap to migrate with me to the new place. Doesn’t seem to be the best way to get a fresh start. If everything goes as planned, escrow will close around the middle of November, giving me plenty of time to move my things. I think it’s a whole mile and a half away, something like that. The house is actually a halfplex, which I learned is like a duplex except each half is independently owned. So, yes, some of the walls are shared, but I think the construction is such that noise won’t be a problem. The house was built in 1986, making it about 40 years newer than most of the homes in the neighborhood. It’s a 2-story stucco building, with no yard to speak of, which is fine by me. No lawn mowing! It has 2 bedrooms and one and a half baths. The home is very contemporary and has an urban loft feel to it. All of the walls are white and there are windows everywhere. There is dark gray carpet, a lot of tile, and hardwood floors in the bedrooms. I will be needing a roommate, but I’ve come to terms with that too. It’ll be worth it. Right?

Pinch Hitters

2007-10-21T21:00:00.000-07:00

During a lengthy manalysis at a local café this afternoon, my very wise friend C.A. observed that all of us are dating “pinch hitters” – men who we don’t see a future with, and sometimes don’t even particularly like – while we continue to keep our options open, hoping still to meet the “right” guy. She also says “you can’t meet Mr. Right when you’re sleeping with Mr. Retarded.” Hm. Is that true? Or can you keep seeing the wrong guy as long as you are open to meeting others? I’m going to be testing this hypothesis very soon. Starting this week, in fact. As long as the emotional connection is minor or non-existent, I see no reason why this can’t be done. Some may ask, why continue to see someone if you know deep down (or, on the immediate surface, whatever) that he is not a keeper? We all agreed that the number one reason is attention. Naturally, it’s flattering and addictive to be wanted by an attractive man, regardless of his ultimate intentions. Or marriage status, in some instances (I wouldn’t know anything about that, of course). Physical intimacy ranks somewhere at the top of the list too. But what it really comes down to is that we don’t have anything (well, anyone) else going on. That’s probably the top excuse for dating a less-than-desirable guy – not having any better options at the moment. That’s my justification, absolutely. As long as I’m still having fun with my pinch-hitter and there are no full-season replacements on deck, I see no reason to drop him permanently from the lineup.

For my loyal readers (all 4 or 5 of you), you’ve probably caught on that I’m referring specifically to the artist guy. I think I’ll just refer to him as “PH” from now on (for pinch hitter). Yeah, I admit I was really into him in the beginning. But I’ve learned a lot about him since then. Too much, probably! He is so into himself, in fact, that it’s practically all he talks about. We went away for the weekend together and had a very enlightening conversation in the car on the way home today about how unless he has an “agreement” with a woman stating that they are exclusive, he’s not loyal to anyone. This blunt revelation, coupled with some specific details I recently learned about his dating life, required me to quietly reflect on what the hell I’m doing dating him. My initial thought was that I have to get rid of him immediately. Then I thought some more and decided, why should I dump him now? I’m having fun, and he’s hot. I like the attention and he treats me well when we’re together. As long as I don’t feel a strong emotional connection to him and can accept the relationship for what it is, why not keep seeing him? Just not as often, is all. Until now, he’s taken up too much of my time for this thing to be considered (in my mind, and probably by most accounts) a “casual” dating relationship. According to my day planner, I’ve known him for 72 days (as of today, Sunday the 21st of October) and I’ve seen him 25 times. That’s an average of every 3 days. That’s not casual!! Anyway -- I need to move on and establish some rules that enable me to keep seeing him but also allow me the freedom to get out and meet other guys that might be better suited for me.

Mini-Break

2007-10-16T21:45:00.001-07:00

I remember Bridget Jones being excited at the prospect of taking a "mini-break" or weekend trip with her new guy - she saw it as a sign of the relationship becoming more serious and also as a way to know if it'll work out if you can actually survive a few days of being with someone 24-7. Before I left for China, I told B. that I wanted us to go somewhere and spend a weekend together when I got back. He's the one who followed up and made suggestions for where we could go. We decided on Tahoe and I booked a room in Stateline for Friday and Saturday. Weather may be crappy but I'm sure we'll figure out ways to stay amused.

So, people are pretty curious about this and as far as I know, no, we're not officially exclusive -- and if that topic is to come up in conversation, it'll have to be initiated by him and not me. I don't even know what's appropriate between adults who are 33 and 40 years old and dating. It seems unlikely that he's going to ask me to go steady, you know? Maybe these things are just assumed at some point. I dunno! Do I want him to be my b-friend? Maybe I don't know that either. I definitely don't want to share him, but that's different. Isn't it? In any event, I always have fun when I'm around him and I'm sure that'll be the case this weekend.

Houses

2007-10-16T21:37:00.000-07:00

I might buy a house soon! How exciting. And scary. I think I'm ready to take the plunge, though. Hopefully I'lll choose well and the place will be a good medium to long term investment. Funny thing about housebuying, everyone wants to give you advice. I kind of wish people would do this when we make other long-term, possibly life-changing decisions. When friends or family members get engaged to people we don't approve of, isn't it tempting to pull them aside and say "you know, maybe you should wait another 6 months or even a year! A lot of things can change in the market between now and then..." This might actually be a good idea! No, I appreciate the thoughtful advice from people who've been through the process, but ultimately when you find a place you really like, and you think it's a good deal, and you feel emotionally ready to buy a place, you just have to go for it. And not tell your friends and family :-)

Last Woman Standing

2007-10-14T22:55:00.000-07:00

I flew down to LA the day after I got back from China to go to my good friend Devon's wedding in Laguna Niguel. I think knowing I had this wedding to go to really motivated me to get over my jet lag! Otherwise I could still be laying around the house, sleeping all day long. Now it's Sunday night at 11 p.m. and I'm fully awake, back on a normal schedule after only a couple of days. Not bad. I was really excited to see Devon and Randy get married. I had not had a chance to meet Randy beforehand but I heard a lot about him from Devon and I knew he was a great guy, so I am really happy for both of them. I also got to see a couple of friends from USC who I hadn't seen for probably 10-11 years. They traveled from DC and Texas for the wedding. I couldn't help but pointing out to Devon that thanks to her, I'm now officially the last one of our group of friends from 'SC who isn't married!

I'll post some pics soon - this blogger is experiencing problems with images.

Back from China

2007-10-14T22:13:00.000-07:00

Just recently returned from a week in Hong Kong and Shanghai. I love to travel, but organizing a trip like this for an elected official is very stressful! I am so happy and relieved to be home. Don't get me wrong, I felt very fortunate and grateful to get to visit Asia, but I had very little free time. Well, I did have time to do a little sightseeing in Hong Kong.

This is a photo I took from the sky terrace up on Victoria Peak, one of the highest points on Hong Kong island. This is just a small portion of the thousands of skyscrapers and highrise apartment buildings in HK. It's beautiful and a bit overwhelming! It was really hot and humid there - about 90 degrees every day and it never got cold at night. I also took the ferry across Victoria Harbor to the Kowloon side, to see the view of HK island, where I was staying. Unfortunately, the air pollution was really bad and it was hard to see buildings that were right across the harbor. Sad. The next day I took a city bus across the island to Stanley Market, a well-known market where tourists go to buy cheap souvenirs and trinkets. I was a little disappointed in the market. It wasn't as big as I thought it would be and the bargains weren't all that great either. I didn't see much worth buying. The bus ride over there was the best part of the journey. It was nice to get to see more of the island than just high rises, although they are everywhere, including in the beach resorts near Stanley.

After 4.5 days in Hong Kong, we took off for Shanghai, a 2.5 hour flight north. Shanghai is an even bigger city than Hong Kong, with anywhere from 16 to 20 million people, depending who you ask. It's just a huge, modern mega-city with miles and miles of new skyscrapers and high rise condo buildings, but mixed in with a lot of older buildings too. Shanghai is more China than Hong Kong, but I was told that the rest of China is really nothing like Shanghai. I had zero time to shop and sightsee in Shanghai but I did get a few photos from my hotel, from a super tall office building, and from the riverfront where we stopped one day for an ice cream break. A highlight in Shanghai was taking the super-fast MagLev train from downtown to the airport. The train, one of the fastest in the world, hits a top speed of 430 km/hour. That's 267 mph! The distance to the airport is 30 km, and the trip took about 7 minutes. It was pretty amazing to speed through the city that fast.

So, I'm really glad that I had the opportunity to visit Asia and see some of China, but I'm not sure if I would go back on my own. Hong Kong and Shanghai are not that different from any other modern big city, like New York. Plus, China's such a long trip! I think I'll travel closer to home for a while.

2007-09-18T22:01:00.000-07:00

I have decided that I am a very confused individual. This is not meant to be a profound statement by any means, nor do I assume that others are not as confused or more confused than me. I think this state of confusion exists in many of us because we are confronted with such a variety of choices - many more so than our parents had available to them, for example. Last week I put an offer on a house. Then I changed my mind, and let the counteroffer expire. I feel totally relieved! Just two months ago, I was fantasizing about living in San Francisco, at least part time. I even searched for apartments for rent and went to go look at one. I gave it some serious consideration. I was going to be this cool bi-city chick. Not to be confused with a bi chick. Even tho we're talking about SF. No, I had this whole plan to spend more time in the city and try to date guys there as a part-time resident. Not that you have to establish residency to be allowed to date someone, but I look at this in the same way I do applying for jobs. It's difficult to get a job in a city where you're not currently living, right? Well, the same theory can be applied to boyfriends. Guys who live in SF can hardly be bothered to leave the city limits. And why would they? Everything is there. Maybe they'll make the trek to Tahoe during snowboarding season, otherwise they are staying put. Drive to Sacramento? Riiiight.

So I was considering renting a room in an apartment in the Mission. But I learned that there was no way I could convince my employer to reimburse for for any or all of the cost, even though - I reasoned - it would cost them less than putting me up in a hotel 4 times a month, which is how often I plan on staying over in the city for work. Whatever. Some rules make no sense.

Then, in mid-August, I met this super hot guy and have been spending a lot of time with him. Not a hot SF guy, a hot Sactown guy. Yeah, they exist! They are few and far between, but apparently they are out there. However, the hotness comes with a lot of other qualities that are maybe not so desirable for a "good" girl like myself. (Details will have to be shared in an entirely separate posting). Now I am wondering, do I still want to pursue moving to SF? Or would I be willing to make the sacrifice and stay in Sac if I had a relationship with a great guy? I'm not really even referring to the current dude, just pondering on this in general. And the thought of not being mobile, of not having the option to up and move to Europe or Papua New Guinea or wherever I feel like going, is scary to me. Like, restricting-feeling.

I could use the same feeling to describe the thought of becoming a homeowner. Buying a house, to me, is like admitting I'm going to be in the same place for a long time. And that is a frightening thought, because keeping my options open and staying flexible is really important to me. I joke around and say it's due to a fear of commitment, but that is what it boils down to.

Like with the guy - on one hand, I want him to declare his exclusive adoration of me and tell me I am the only woman in his life. But, I still kinda want to go out with other guys, in case he changes his mind. Keep a back-up option around. Fortunately for me, I have not been confronted with this problem, it is only in my mind. The main thing is that I desperately don't want to get my feelings hurt, so I try to not have any feelings. Or convince myself that I don't. I know this is normal. But I wonder if I think about it too much? Who knows. Who decides what is normal, anyway?

If I'm not dating anyone seriously, I feel I can still keep some of my dreams alive. Like my ultimate career goal of being a diplomat, and my life/vacation goal of saving up enough money to travel around the world for a year. Yeah! Adventure is what it's all about. Now, it would be nice to meet someone who'd support the career goal and say that he'd move to Nepal or Moldova for me, or who shares my passion for travel and can say, screw work and the rat race for a year. But for now, I have to be OK with the idea of doing these things on my own.

So...to buy a house or pay rent indefinitely? To pursue romantic entanglements and risk heartbreak or allow myself only meaningless flings and flirtations (with younger men, no doubt)?

Whenever I get too worried about things like this, I force myself to think about all of the people in the world who have actual problems. And then I feel kind of silly. But, also - I do feel better. Time to get ready for bed.

Second Thoughts

2007-09-13T21:07:00.000-07:00

The tide seems to have turned on my new job. I was pretty lucky over the summer – no working late, low stress, interesting projects, etc. I also wasn’t getting a paycheck – but fortunately that got resolved. This week things have started to suck and I’m having second thoughts. Kind of scary because I had planned on staying at this job for quite a while. I think the main problem is my boss, the guy who I report directly to. He and I have very different styles. He seems to be of the (in my opinion) false notion that I’m his personal secretary and it’s causing me to feel bitterness toward him. Not good. He’ll call me from his office in SF and ask me to call people and set up meetings for him. What? In that time, he could have done it himself. I don’t get it. I think it’s also a gender thing. I feel that if I were a guy, he wouldn’t treat me that way. He is a 61 year old man who is independently wealthy and doesn’t even need to work. That pisses me off, too! I would like to think that jobs should be reserved for those who need to work in order to pay the rent, mortgage, grocery bill, etc. But that’s just me. He is kind of fatherly toward me, which is OK. He has been making an effort to get to know me. But, in a way, I prefer to keep my work and personal lives separate. He sees himself as a “mentor” to me. But I didn’t ask him to be my mentor. I don’t think I need a mentor and if I did, it wouldn’t be him. He expressed frustration that I haven’t gotten tasks done that should have already been finished. See, I do all the work. I think he just sits around making to-do lists that he reads aloud to me. Seriously, I can’t think of what he does. I do have respect for him because I know he’s very intelligent, he is a good writer and he has strong analytical thinking and reasoning skills. But if he expects to loll around in his office with his feet up on the desk while I toil away, this is not going to work out in the long run. I don’t see him going anywhere because he’s a trusted, longtime advisor of the big boss. However, I see myself as a valuable member of the team as well. I’m just going to wait and see what happens in the next month or so, after the international trip is over, and I may have to have a frank discussion with him. He’d be totally screwed if I left, and he probably knows it. I’m going to consider keeping my options open, job-wise. Who you work with is so important, especially if you work so closely on a daily basis with one person.

Back in Business

2007-09-07T21:56:00.000-07:00

OK, I finally found a wireless internet connection. Some unsuspecting neighbor is kindly allowing me to "borrow" some bandwidth. It's Friday night and what am I doing? Well, I am sitting on the couch, naked - let me explain - because I just applied some self-tanner and I need it to dry before I go to bed. That's all! I'm watching one of my favorite movies, Love Actually. It's at the end - the best part, where everything falls into place.

So, I've actually been dating the same guy for a record-breaking 27 days. Pretty crazy. I'm still liking him more all the time - strange for me, usually it's the opposite (reference Derek, the guy in SF). I continue to think this one's totally wrong for me, in a long-term sense, but I'm still having FUN! Yay. I'm just concerned that this blog might get a bit dull for a while...

Danger!

2007-08-20T11:11:00.000-07:00

Crap. I'm starting to actually like this guy. And the more time I spend with him, the more I like him. Darn it. I hate when that happens.

My new Motto

2007-08-18T14:41:00.000-07:00

My new motto is short and simple, comprised of three little words: HAVE MORE FUN! Natalie's suggestion to me to "not think too much" is the key to making sure I follow my own advice. Problem is, it's kinda hard to turn off this brain of mine! But, I'm trying, I'm trying. Case in point - new guy, the artist dude. If I allow myself to think about it, I know he's totally wrong for me. But turn off the brain and just permit myself to enjoy it (or him, rather) while it/he lasts - that's what I'm gonna do. If you could see him...or if you have seen him...you'd understand completely :) Oh my gosh. Last night when he was over, I was in the kitchen pouring some water and he had taken his shirt off, and he stood in the doorway between the room where my bed is and the kitchen and was holding onto the doorframe and his gorgeous, tan, tall, body was stretched out and I just looked and him and kind of melted. Oh my gosh. That picture is going to be etched in my mind for a while. Plus the fact that he came over to see me, knowing I was sick, and he wasn't going to get any. He said he just wanted to be next to me. Do I fall for this stuff? Totally! Going to see him tonight, and tomorrow, and we have plans on Tuesday - and I am so having more fun.

Socialites

2007-08-12T16:25:00.000-07:00

Contrary to popular belief, single people like myself don’t necessarily have wild and crazy social lives. Truthfully, the older I get, the more often I find myself hanging out at home and relaxing on the couch as opposed to going out and drinking and flirting. Take this weekend for example. I tried to get some friends to meet me at concert in the park on Friday evening after work, but it didn’t happen. I ended up going for a long walk with Carolyn instead, then going home and reading three magazines while watching “School of Rock” playing on Fox. I think I ended up going to sleep at around 11 p.m. Pretty exciting!

My friends and I actually had a number of social obligations on Saturday night, however. We were pretty excited about this and conveniently, all three parties were within about 5 blocks of each other, making getting around pretty easy. We started off at a wedding reception for some friends who got married recently in Hawaii. Free drinks and appetizers, sweet. Checking our watches, we headed out to party #2, a wine and art reception at a new downtown winery. Another of our friends invited us, she was helping the artist to promote his work. We walked in and I asked her who the artist was, expecting some effeminate “artsy” guy and was surprise when she pointed out a tall, dark, and handsome guy, dressed preppy in khakis and a button down shirt. All of a sudden I became a great patron of the arts J We all hung out there for an hour or so, and two of my friends ended up buying art. They convinced him to come with us to the next party, our friend’s birthday shindig. Yeah – he left his own party to come with us, cool. The birthday party was great. It was in this beautiful old, renovated empty apartment that is going to be a salon. Perfect setting for a party, and they had a bartender and a DJ. I stayed fairly close to the artist, desiring to learn more about this hottie and his many “passions” that inspire his art. Sure, his compliments were a little on the cheesy side, but I needed a little ego boost after my rejection by the blind date, right? Plus, like I mentioned, I do like to support the arts. And local artists. He told me he would call me tonight, so we’ll see. But, wow, he is nice to look at. I wouldn’t mind hanging out with him again.

Rejection

2007-08-12T16:24:00.000-07:00

Based on the way my date with the hot dad went last weekend, I was pretty sure he was interested in me and that he would call me. All the signs were there. He complimented me on my appearance (he did not have to do this). He was the one who wanted to extend the date and keep it going. After dinner, he could have easily begged off with an excuse that he had to get up early the next morning for something or other. When I invited him in for dessert, he could have declined, after all, it was already 1 a.m. Then, when he was leaving, he said something about wanting to take me out again. Taking all of this into consideration, I don’t think it was unreasonable to expect a phone call. So I have compiled a list of possible reasons for why he has not called:

1. he got in a car accident on the way home to Folsom and was recovering in the hospital
2. assuming #1 is true, he has contracted amnesia and doesn’t remember a thing about me or our date
3. or, as a result of the accident, his cell phone was destroyed and he lost my number
4. let’s say there was no accident, but after thinking the evening over, he decided that I am way too beautiful/smart/funny for him and he is terribly intimidated by me
5. thus, he is going to check with Vanessa and see if she has any more friends to set him up with

Unfortunately, I’ll never know, unless he decides to share his reasoning with Vanessa. Oh well! Like I said before, at least it was fun and interesting night.

The Set-up

2007-08-05T18:44:00.000-07:00

I've noticed that married people take a great interest in trying to get their single friends paired off. It's like they've joined a cult and their main purpose is getting others to follow suit. Right?? My dear (and married) friend Vanessa only has my best interests at heart, I’m sure. Apparently she’s not satisfied with any of the guys I meet on my own (usually younger men). She’s always promoting some way for me to meet new guys, usually online dating sites like match.com or eharmony.com. She always has success stories to use as examples and support her cause. I’ve joked with her that she should get a job in marketing for a dating service – she’d do well! So I wasn’t terribly surprised to get a very enthusiastic voice mail from her one day, claiming that she knew a guy who I HAD to meet. Turned out he is a “hot dad” who she knows from her day care center. She said I need to meet an older, established guy who is “domesticated.” I was skeptical from the get-go, not only because he has kids but because he lives in the ‘burbs. So far removed from my cosmopolitan, big-city lifestyle, right? Ha. I convinced myself I wouldn’t like him or have anything in common with him. I told myself he was probably a Bible-beating Bush-supporting right-winger. At least I set my expectations to zero – not a bad idea when it comes to blind dates, based on my prior experience.

She told Hot Dad about me and gave him my number. He called, we had a good conversation, and we made plans to go out this Saturday (last night). He showed up at my door at 8:30 p.m. and the first thing I thought was “he’s really cute!” The second thought was “he’s kind of short.” But, the cuteness made up for his lack of height. We walked from my place to a nearby restaurant and had a nice dinner, then moved on to a microbrewery place and had some beers (just one for me, low-tolerance and small bladder girl). We walked back to my apartment and I invited him in for dessert. No, really. I had baked a pear cobbler earlier in the day. Talk about domesticated. Anyway, he was definitely interested in the dessert. Maybe he thought I had something else in mind?? He ended up staying and hanging out till about 2 a.m. Just talking, I swear. He gave me a hug goodbye and said something about wanting to take me out again. He didn’t say “I’ll call you” which nearly always means they won’t, so maybe that’s a good sign? Who knows. If it turns out that this was just a one time thing, I’m satisfied that it was a nice evening. And if he does want to go out again, that’s totally cool with me. After all, I learned he is not into church and he’s not a right-winger. Meaning, this guy’s got potential!

Since My Last Post...

2007-07-29T22:17:00.000-07:00

...a lot has happened! I received a job offer that I was very, very excited about. That meant I had to quit my old job - something I was very, very nervous about. But I didn't need to be. My boss was cool. I started my new job at the end of June and I'm pretty pleased about the way things have gone, so far. At first, it was an interesting transition to go from being someone's supervisor to being the supervisee, and having someone else be in charge and make the decisions. But, considering I'm working fewer hours, have waaaay less stress and pressure, and I'm making more money, this was something I quickly got over.

What else has happened? Well, in the larger scheme of things, two of my friends had babies in the last two months. Another friend is newly pregnant. Two of my friends moved away to Texas. One of my good friends, who has been single for at least as long as I have, met a guy and now they're "official." Good for her! She deserves to meet a great guy. I really did finally send an email to Mark and...never got a response. Not surprisingly. I went on a fun trip to Vancouver, BC with Blake, Carolyn, Susan and Shannon S. I went on a weekend trip to Visalia to visit Katie, Dan, Jacob, Luke and Erik. Katie and I went on a day trip to Sequoia National Park and saw the biggest tree in the world, the General Sherman. Pretty cool! I have been to SF many times in the last two months. On several of those occasions, I did see Derek. I have finally admitted to myself what I knew previously to be true, but did not want to admit, that it's just not there. Totally cool guy, very intellectual and intelligent and interesting, not to mention super-cute, but I'm not for him. And he's not for me. At least I tried.

I plan on being in SF on a regular basis for work, and I'm thinking seriously about arranging a little pied-a-terre in the city. Since my work will be paying for me to stay in a hotel anyway, I figure I may as well look into renting a room in an apartment, and having a place to keep some belongings. This way, I can figure out whether I may want to live there full-time or not. Living in SF has always been one of my dreams, and this is a way to test it out and see if I want to take the plunge. Of course, that would mean never, ever buying real estate. For me, that may be OK. Homeownership, while a must for many people, has never been something at the top of my list. However, for the time, I do plan on remaining in Sacramento, where it is entirely possible to purchase real estate. I've been doing some research and establishing my priorities. I think I'd like to buy a place and rent out a room to help with the mortgage. Now it's just a matter of learning what I can qualify for and figuring out if I can afford to buy something in the neighborhoods I find desirable. I'm not particularly interested in buying the perfect house and creating a little nest for myself. It's more about whether the place will be a good medium to long term investment. In other words, will I be able to sell the place in 10 years and make enough money to finally pay off my student loans?? My current options for ridding myself of debt are the following: 1) win the Lotto, 2) find some rich guy to marry, or 3) buy real estate and be patient for 10 years or so.

Time to go to bed...

R-E-L-I-E-F

2007-05-22T19:02:00.000-07:00

Relief, because my big event at work is OVER. Thank goodness. I had been thinking this day would never come. All of my dreams, when I was able to fall asleep, have been about the event. Now that it's done with, I feel relieved. I do feel a sense of accomplishment, things went pretty well. Most of all, I feel kind of free - as in, I've fulfilled my obligation and now I can think about moving on without any guilt or attachment. I left work today at about 5:15 p.m. and felt really weird about that. Yesterday, my day was just getting busy at about 5 p.m. and that's after having been at the office since 8:30 a.m. I worked until midnight last night so leaving while it was still light out was really strange. Tonight I'm doing whatever I want, which is basically nothing. I got some Thai takeout and turned on the TV. I was searching for something mindless and entertaining and found That 70s Show on Channel 4. Followed by King of the Hill. Perfect! And the wine I bought at Boeger on Saturday went great with the spicy red curry. I have been relaxing on the couch for exactly 1.75 hours and it feels GREAT.

I hope to have some good and interesting news about work-related changes SOON. In the meantime, I'll be content to leave work before darkness falls. Sometimes I don't know what I would do with all my free time if I didn't work so much. How pathetic is that??

E-mails That I Want To, but Don't Send

2007-05-22T18:58:00.000-07:00

See Conference Hook-Ups for reference

Hi Mark,

I realize there is a slight chance that you have been kidnapped by aliens in the last month since we saw each other in DC, but most likely, that is not the case. From my recollection, we had a good time hanging out together. I am wondering if there’s something I did or said to offend you, because I also recall that you said “I’ll call you tomorrow” but that was a month ago and my phone has not registered any calls from you. In fact, I’ve even deleted your number from my phone so I wouldn’t be tempted to call you. So, what’s up?

Cheers,

Michele

Hello Mark,

What the %$#@ is wrong with you? I believe you even asked yourself this question when we were hanging out in DC, because you were wondering why you haven’t bothered to keep in touch with me. I have been asking myself the exact same question (about you, that is) pretty much since we met three years ago. Three years.

Sincerely,

Michele

Hey Mark,

I realize that I am not perfect. I understand from a comment you made that you are looking for “perfection” in a woman. Now, that could mean that you are looking for the person who is perfect for you, or it could mean you are looking for perfection in general. I would just like to let you know that a)there is no such thing as perfection, b)you yourself are far, far from perfect and c) I am also nowhere near being perfect and, finally, sorry to burst your bubble but d) NO ONE is perfect.

Best regards,
Michele

Dear Mark,

In the event that you actually have been kidnapped by aliens, please disregard the above messages! I just want to let you know that in case they release you soon and you're able to get home and see this message, I am still available. Yes, I know - you might assume that in the last month I would have been snatched up by some other guy since I am such a great catch. So, if you are back on Earth, you can call me. Or text me. Whatever works for you. I really did delete your number, though, so I can't call you. Well, I could, because I could just look up your website and get your number there. But I won't. I am curious to hear about your period of captivity with the aliens. Maybe I'll do a write-up about it in my blog.

Hope you're well,

Michele

They Call us the Whale Riders

2007-05-20T19:20:00.000-07:00

As all the locals know, Sacramento has been caught up in a whale frenzy for the past week or so, ever since two wayward whales, a mother and her calf, made their way from the San Francisco Bay into the Delta and finally to the Port of Sacramento. Marine experts have been called in to figure out how to lure the whales back to the Bay, and eventually the ocean. But they seemed content to just hang out in the Port. For anyone not familiar with the area, the Port is a good 80 miles northeast of the SF Bay. The news story has gone national and even international, with articles on CNN and the AP wire.

The police were discouraging people from visiting the levies to whale-watch this weekend, citing “danger.” Of what, I wasn’t exactly sure. In any event, I had no plans to try to see the whales – I’ve been really busy with work and whale watching isn’t one of my hobbies. Regardless, everyone is pretty curious. I heard that my friend Patrick was taking his bike out to the port to see the whales so I gave him a call and had him meet me in Old Sac.

We headed to the port and sure enough, there were hoards of curious onlookers. We were very smart to bring bikes. It was a long, dusty walk to get to where the whales were. Initially, I was really bored and thought I wouldn’t last longer than 10 or 15 minutes. I just wanted to get a glimpse and get out of there. Then, the whales started moving – and quickly. A Coast Guard boat started following them and soon a whole fleet of vessels, including two tugboats, had created a kind of barrier and seemed to be herding the whales westward, back toward the Delta and in the direction of the Bay. Patrick and I, along with a portion of the crowd, followed along on the levy and on the lower trail near the river. Every few minutes, the whales would breach and the mama whale would blow water out. So cool.

We ended up riding our bikes all along the levy to a point where the police had it barricaded off and wouldn’t let anyone pass. By that time the whales were still making their way in the right direction. We turned back around and encountered a couple of news vans, who were way too late to get any footage. We stopped and talked to the Fox station guys and the reporter asked if he could interview us. Why, certainly! He interviewed me first, then Patrick, who actually said “We call ourselves the Whale Riders.” I was trying not to crack up and was proud of Patrick for saying that, on camera, with a straight face! Hilarious. So now I’m calling everyone and telling them to check out the 10 p.m. news to catch a glimpse of the “Whale Riders.”

SF Update

2007-04-30T20:11:00.000-07:00

After my DC trip, I went back to work for one day and then went to SF on Friday. I got a ride into the city with a colleague but then had to pretty much spend the day with him. Oh well. I got a free lunch out of it, at least. Mostly, I was looking forward to my date with Derek. We met at Union Square at about 6 p.m., after I finished my meetings and he got off work. It was a beautiful, warm and sunny day. We took a cab to his apartment and he poured us some wine. We took our wine up on the roof of his building, where we sat, surrounded by a 360 degree view of the city. It doesn’t get much better than that! Oh, wait, it did get better when we started kissing. OK, now it doesn’t get much better! As the sun went down and it became colder, we headed inside and continued our wine drinking and thought about going to dinner. We went to Suppenkueche, a German restaurant in Hayes Valley that I had heard about. It was actually really good. Pretty cool on the inside too. We went back to his place and the excellent evening continued. I was just worried that his roommate was going to come home – she was due to return from a week-long trip to Southeast Asia that night. As it turns out, she didn’t come home, she must’ve gone to her boyfriend’s place (my Australian friend). It was nice to stay the night and spend more time with him than just a few hours. Plus, I slept exceptionally well in his bed. Although, the roommate did get home on Saturday morning – with her Aussie in tow. That was a bit embarrassing…I obviously did not want them to know I was there, but a bunch of my stuff was downstairs so it probably became clear to them after a couple of minutes that Derek had a girl over. Fortunately they are both smart individuals and they left after about 10 minutes. We got up and took showers, and he fixed me some breakfast. He had to head to SFO to pick up his cousin who was arriving from the Netherlands. I had him drop me at the Ferry Building so I could catch the bus to Emeryville, and then the train to Sac. I was feeling that things were a little weird that morning and then in the car – lack of conversation and all that. I can’t get into all the details here but I’m afraid the bloom is off the rose at this point – I’m no longer feeling all smitten and crazy about him like I was before. This typically always happens when I get to know a guy better and realize he’s not this perfect creature that I envisioned him to be when I didn't know him. Plus there are some basic chemistry issues. Now it’s at the point where I’m not sure if it would make sense for us to continue to spend time together, because I am pretty sure he’s not someone I want a relationship with. He would probably be a great boyfriend, and he's really incredibly cute (that makes it harder!), but I am not feeling it. I am still waiting to meet a guy who is just crazy about me and makes an effort to call me, talk to me on a regular, if not daily, basis, goes out of his way to figure out how to spend time with me, really seems to want to get to know me, and makes me feel like I’m the only woman in his life (which, hopefully, I would be). Derek really does none of these things and that’s why I’m thinking it’s not worth my time. With that said, it may be worthwhile to keep him in mind when I do travel to SF for work or otherwise, but that's partly up to him as well and I think his feelings probably mirror mine. In the meantime, the older guy I referenced in my last posting has scheduled a lunch date with me for Friday and has sent me numerous e-mails, which indicates that he is thinking of me. There's something to be said for that. Still no word from Mark and of course no communication from Derek since Saturday morning. I also have a blind date on Wednesday, which sounds promising, but I hold no stock in descriptions, based on the last two set-ups I’ve been on.

Conference Hook-Ups

2007-04-26T20:43:00.000-07:00

For some reason, the atmosphere at conferences is such that one has a higher chance than usual of hooking up. I'm not sure exactly why this is, I just go with the flow and enjoy it. I traveled to our nation's capital with a group of 400 people from Sacramento to attend a 3-day lobbying and networking conference. We arrived on Saturday night and there was a welcome party at the hotel. Naturally, I was looking around to see if there were any hot guys in attendance. The most gorgeous guy on the trip was an attorney who was, unfortunately for me, wearing a wedding ring. I didn't even bother introducing myself, what was the point? Then I saw another hottie across the room. I had to look twice because I realized I knew him, and had in fact already dated him. I was pretty embarrassed that he was there, because the last communication we had involved me calling him at 10 p.m. on a Saturday night and inviting myself over to his place. He never called me back. That was in January. Soooo I wanted to crawl under a table and hide. I decided to completely ignore him and pretend that he wasn't there. I was thinking, great. How am I going to avoid this guy for the next few days? A while later I was walking around the party and he came up to me and asked if he could buy me a beer. What could I say? Shortly after, we ended up leaving the party and going out to a bar. I took him to Tryst in Adams Morgan, a cool lounge-y casual bar/coffee shop that I used to go to when I lived in DC. Later we went to a college bar across the street, then we headed back to the hotel. He paid for everything (as he should!). I was staying on the 6th floor and his room was on the third. I assumed he would just say goodbye to me in the elevator, but he said he wanted to see my room. Uh huh. I've heard that one before. Well, it worked. I'm so predictable. We made out in my room and he said that he should keep in touch with me. I agreed. He said he hasn't been ready for a "challenge" and that dating is challenging. I was thinking to myself, don't get ahead of yourself there, buddy. We're just making out - enjoy it while it lasts and don't assume I want to be your girlfriend. His beard stubble was scratching up my face, so he said he would shave in the morning and he left. Next evening we went to dinner at the Dupont Grille. Nice place. He paid, bill was over $100. Again, I think I deserve this because he has dissed me so many times in the past. After dinner we went to an Irish pub next door to watch a basketball game. I was totally bored but he was in his element (he even told me this). People at the bar thought we were married. Huh. We were there till after midnight, then we walked back to the hotel. He held my hand the whole time and stopped at one point for no reason to start kissing me. He shaved, nice. It was cute to see him happy - his team won. We walked into the lobby and wouldn't you know it, a group of about 12 guys who were in our delegation were hanging out in the bar. So Mark had to go and schmooze with the boys while I lingered, hoping he would just talk for a few minutes and go upstairs with me. Well, no. I told him to stop by my room later, but he never showed up. I figured he got talked into drinking more with the guys and I was right, based on the text message he sent the next day. Monday night I went to happy hour with some friends and invited Mark to come and meet us. He showed up at the second bar we went to, at about 8:30. We got back to the hotel at about 10 p.m. and again, a big group of Sacramentans were in the lobby, including my boss. Sweet. He enjoys teasing me, so I know I'm going to hear it from him later. Mark was informed by me that he was not going out drinking with the boys that night, and he followed my instructions. We went up to his room and made out. I didn't get as much action as I had hoped, because he was exhausted (and, hung over still, from the night before). I swear, this always happens to me. I have no game, as Greg and Jason always tell me. So true. He told me he would call me the next day. That was Monday night. It's now Thursday night and guess what? I haven't heard from him. This is why I'm "still" single - the question everyone likes to ask - because I meet guys who go out with me three nights in a row and then never call me! That's why. So the following night, Tuesday, was our farewell dinner, a dress-up event. I packed light because I knew I would go shopping while in DC. Sure enough, I bought a bunch of stuff at H&M, including a super-cute black cocktail dress for $15. I was laughing in the dressing room because it was so ridiculously cheap. I went to the dinner and was immediately claimed for the evening by an older man who I had met earlier in the day. Apparently he took quite a liking to me, but I was confused because I assumed he was gay. He is the president of a local medical foundation and seems to be pretty rich, and very connected to the business community. He offered to help me make some connections with people who could provide funding for my organization. Hmm. We sat next to each other at dinner and on the other side of him was one of my board members, who assumed he and I had "hit it off." I was thinking, no way. First of all, he's gay. Second, he's too old. After dinner he asked if I wanted to get a glass of wine. We ended up going to the bar at the hotel along with a lot of the other people in the group. We hung out with another guy who I knew previously, through work. John bought me a glass of wine, and I learned that he was divorced, because this lady came up to him and said that he had a really beautiful wife. He was like, "uh, ex-wife." Oops. He also has two cats and a dog. That's cute. I actually really enjoyed hanging out with him, I felt we could be friends at least. I also learned he is 46, because I saw his drivers' license at the bar and saw he was born in 1960. Pretty old, huh? I was considering whether I would be willing to make out with him or not. There's something about knowing someone is into you that makes them more attractive. Then the really bizarre thing happened. A random older guy came up to the three of us at the bar and asked if either of the guys were my boyfriend or husband. We said "noooo..." and wondered why he was asking this. The guy proceeded to embarrass the hell out of me, and gave me like 10 compliments. He said he had been staring at me all night (um, creepy) and that I had the most beautiful lips, and eyes, and great legs, and that I was just this beautiful creature, and I should be proud and confident. I was in complete shock and didn't know what to say, so I just said thank you. Weird! Luckily when the guy went back to his barstool, I was not in his line of sight. Chris and John were both leaving to go up to their rooms, so I left too. End of evening. John left the next day for Pennsylvania to visit his family. I had an e-mail from him when I went into work this morning that he must have sent that night, late. He said it was a pleasure meeting me and that he looked forward to meeting me for lunch in the coming weeks. To talk about work, of course. I wrote back and said for him to get in touch when he was back in town. He sent me another e-mail tonight saying we should meet for lunch or wine, some evening. Hm. I guess it could be interesting to have a sugar daddy, albeit one who is old and possibly gay. Actually that would be ideal, because I'd get stuff and there'd be no expectations! Ha ha. That is just wrong. In the meantime, I have plans with Derek in SF tomorrow night and I have a blind date on Wednesday. Maybe it's for the best that Mark, the flake, is blowing me off - again. Although, I know how weak I am when it comes to him and if he did contact me, I would hang out with him. Pathetic. Why do we want the ones who don't seem to want us? I had hoped I'd be over guys like him a long time ago. Guess not.

Sedentary Lifestyles

2007-04-19T09:29:00.000-07:00

I'm reading a pretty interesting book called "I'm a Stranger Here Too" by Bill Bryson. It's actually a collections of columns he wrote for a British newspaper. He had lived in the UK for 20 years with his family and then returned to the U.S., where he now lives in a small New Hampshire town called Hanover, best known for being home to Dartmouth College. The columns are about his re-adjustment to American life and are pretty funny. One of them hit home last night. He was writing about how an astonishly high percentage of Americans are considered to live sedentary or extremely sedentary lives, and that the average American only walks something like 1.4 miles per week. That's pretty sad. And that some 93% of trips outside the home are made by car. I think I'm more active than most, but this made me think about how my lifestyle lately (the last two weeks, I suppose) has been very sedentary, with the vast majority of my time spent sitting on my butt on my chair at work, in front of the computer (like right now!). I decided to do something about it and walk to work today. I threw on my sweats, packed my backpack with an outfit, shoes and my lunch, and took an urban hike through midtown and downtown to make my way to the office. Along the way, I was able to notice things I've never noticed before. First of all, spring is a beautiful time of year in Sacramento because the trees are all incredibly lush and green. I don't think you truly notice the beauty of the trees in this area unless you slow down and walk around. I walked around the Crocker Art Museum and could check out the sculpture outside and appreciate the beautiful architecture. By the time I arrived at work, I felt great knowing that I had already gotten my exercise for the day. Then the realization hit me: oh yeah, I'm going to have to walk home, too. Four miles in one day: that's apparently how far most Americans will walk in a month!

The Bachelor

2007-04-10T07:58:00.000-07:00

I admit I am addicted to "The Bachelor" and enjoy nothing more than a short but sweet 6-season run of this reality show. I tuned in last night to the second episode of "The Bachelor: an Officer and a Gentleman" (I missed the first one) and was extremely disappointed. First of all, I don't think the Bachelor, Lt. Andy Baldwin, is all that. His head looks too big for his body, he looks short, and his teeth are eerily white. He doesn't come across like he should be on TV. I don't know. I'm not into him at all. Next, the women. They all seem really young and stupid. Maybe this was done on purpose - I don't know. It was painful to watch their conversations. Maybe this franchise has burned itself out, because I don't know how many more catty conversations the girls in the house can have about the girl out on the date before viewers (like me) tune out. Another thing, is it just me or are the girls not really that pretty? Sure, they are all attractive and cute girls, but I didn't see one girl who was really beautiful. The banter between Andy and the girls was pretty lame, too. Andy to Tiffany, during their "special quality time (how lame): "So, have you ever dated a doctor before?" Tiffany: "Yes." Andy: "How was it?" Tiffany (giggling): "Um, it was OK." Andy (desperately searching for intelligent conversation but finding none): "Have you ever dated a miliary guy before?" Tiffany: "No." With fascinating real-life dialogue like this, I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm not going to watch the rest of the season - a pure waste of my time. Not like TV in general isn't a waste of time, but this isn't even enjoyable - it's painful!

Blind Date Deux

2007-04-06T09:48:00.000-07:00

WHY do I bother wasting my time with blind dates?? I guess I hold onto that little glimmer of hope that the guy might be cute, interesting and smart. Apparently I'm hoping for too much! I met Mike at the Zinfandel Grille on Fair Oaks last night at 7:30 pm. I was early, so took a seat at the bar and ordered a glass of wine. He showed up and my reaction was "that's him??" Just being realistic and honest, he's not my type physically whatsoever. He's a short-ish, stocky Hispanic guy. Not bad looking per se, but not my idea of attractive by any means. He sat down and ordered a cocktail and I made my one glass of wine last for quite a while. Vital stats: he's 36, lives in an apartment in Roseville, and works as a project manager for a commercial real estate developer. He's originally from San Bernardino and went to UC Riverside. He got a girl pregnant when he was 17 and was "forced" to marry her and to join the military. They ended up having another kid before getting divorced. So now he has a 17 and an 18 year old. I didn't care about that, whatever. This guy and I just had absolutely nothing in common and while it was not excruciating to have to sit and talk with him for an hour, I think we both knew immediately that this was not going to lead to a second date. I just wish there were a way to quickly assess a situation and have an "out" right away, without being rude. Any suggestions?

Derek, Part Trois

2007-04-02T15:02:00.000-07:00

Hm, lately most of my adventures are taking place in the 415! I had my third date with Derek on Saturday, in SF. I was there hanging out with Carolyn and her friend Jill, who's from Oregon and had never been to SF before. We were shopping at Ambiance on Union St. and Derek came to pick me up. He had been running down on Marina Green - he's training to play on an Aussie rules football team. We went to his place so he could take a shower and change. We then headed off for Pacifica, to go hang out at the beach. It's a town just south of SF, on the coast. It was a nice, sunny day in SF, but unfortunately, cloud cover had come in at Pacifica. We turned around and went back to Ocean Beach. We got some some snacks and snuck a bottle of wine onto the beach. It was a gorgeous day to be out there, watching the kite surfers. Pretty cold and windy, but beautiful. After a while, we decided to go to Golden Gate Park to find Carolyn and Jill. They were laying in the grass outside the Conservatory of Flowers. We drank the rest of the wine and hung out, just having a lazy afternoon. I was sad to leave Derek...I said goodbye to him and headed with Carolyn and Jill to Haight Ashbury (where we couldn't find a parking spot, go figure) and then home to Sacramento. Not sure when I'll see Derek again. He has some friends coming to visit this weekend, so maybe the one after? In the meantime, I have another blind date on Thursday. Let's hope it goes better than the last one! Could anything be worse??

Second Date

2007-03-28T13:52:00.000-07:00

I was waiting for Derek outside the Gap at the intersection of Powell and Market Streets in downtown San Francisco last night and it suddenly hit me that it was a Tuesday night at 7 p.m. and I was in San Francisco! And, even stranger, I was waiting for a really cute guy to come meet me and take me out to dinner. This is NOT my normal life. But, I could get accustomed to such things! He spotted me first - we were surrounded by hordes of tourists waiting for a ride on the cable cars. He gave me a big smile and a sincere hug. We decided to escape tourist hell and take a taxi to Pacific Heights, his 'hood. We walked for a few blocks before settling on a cute little (emphasis on little) bistro right off Fillmore Street. The food was good, the wine was great, and the conversation with my very cute dinner partner was even better. I'm just really impressed by him, I don't know how else to describe it. He's intelligent, articulate, well-traveled, open minded, has good taste, knows about the finer things in life, yet is not snobby in the least, has a lot of interesting stories to tell, and most importantly, seems to think I'm great! We stayed at the restaurant until almost 9:30 p.m., and left when I told him I had to think about getting back to Oakland, where I had left my car in a parking garage that closed at 11:00 p.m. Bummer. We left the restaurant and walked to his car, our arms hooked. Then he did something sweet - he asked if he could switch sides with me, because he was brought up to make sure the man always walked closest to the street. Awww. How often does that happen? We got to his car and I knew we were close to his apartment, so I asked where it was. He said we had walked right by it. I still had some time to get to the BART station, so I asked if we could go see it. He's talked a lot about how amazing the place is, so I was curious. And it is amazing. His roommate owns the apartment. It's on the second floor of a house and has hardwood floors and huge, open vaulted ceilings. A nice kitchen, open to the family room/dining area and there was a massive wine collection (Derek's) to boot. His room is the loft upstairs, which you reach by climbing a tall and very steep ladder that is tilted at a slight angle. Somewhat unsure, I scrambled up after him. His room is so cool. He has a great view of the city through a huge window in the front room of the apartment, and there's another window with a ladder next to it. We climb out of the window and we're on the edge of the roof, with yet another wonderful view of the city. He chose this moment (appropriately) to kiss me, and I was again thinking, this is SO not a normal Tuesday night! Being kissed by a hot guy on the roof of his SF apartment, with city lights and the stars surrounding us?? Oh man. Back in his room again, some more kissing, me very, very reluctant to leave. We walk back to the car and he drops me at the Embarcadero BART station, after a prolonged goodbye. I tell him I might be in SF this weekend and he says to call him. Several more kisses later, I leave and have this huge smile on my face as I'm walking into the underground subway station. Now it's the next afternoon and the smile is pretty much still there! Let's see what this weekend holds in store.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

2007-03-21T11:08:00.000-07:00

I was browsing through some other blogs and came across one that was, frankly, really boring. This guy writes a new post every day, simply describing exactly what he does each day. I thought I would emulate him to see if a typical day for me is any more exciting. Probably not. Here goes: My alarm went off at 6 a.m. and I promptly turned it off and went back to sleep. Felix the annoying black cat began to meow incessantly at around 6:30 a.m. I ignored her and covered by head with a pillow as to drown out her cries. It never works. I finally dragged myself out of bed at 6:51 a.m. As always, I began my day with a shower. I am always pissed at the cats for waking me up, so I make them wait until after I shower to eat. I fed the cats and briefly considered cleaning out the litter boxes, but decided that could wait until later. I selected an outfit and got ready for work. I ate breakfast: green tea, apple cinnamon instant oatmeal, strawberries and mango. I've had the same thing for breakfast every day this week, in an effort to at least start out the day being healthy. This plan usually fails by mid-day when I get cravings for sweets, but at least I have good intentions. I left for work at about 8 a.m. I drove today - I don't always drive, sometimes I ride my bike and occasionally I take light rail. I arrived at my office by 8:20 a.m., something I was proud of, because I'm trying to come in earlier and leave earlier. I checked my e-mail and voice mail and made a phone call. I did some research for an event I'm organzing next month and then got ready for a phone meeting I had scheduled. That took about 45 minutes. A guy I met at a conference last week wanted to provide me with a demo of his company's web-based social networking platform. It was interesting to learn about. After that meeting, I had about 15 minutes to check e-mail and get some coffee before the monthly staff meeting. I usually dread these but today's was relatively informative. The rest of the morning, until about 12:30 p.m., was spent working. Oh, I did talk on the phone with Carolyn for about 20 minutes, but I considered that part of my lunch break. I brought my lunch from home and ate in our breakroom at the office, while chatting with some colleagues. I had split pea soup, baby carrots with hummus, and a whole wheat tortilla. I washed it down with a flavored sparkling water from Safeway - my favorite alternative to soda. Yum! However, my healthy lunch was ruined by 2 pieces of cinnamon pound cake that I ate immediately afterward. Darn it. They were sitting right in front of me, calling my name. Total pieces of cake eaten today: 3 (the first one was at the staff meeting). Total pieces of Ferrerro Rocher hazelnut chocolates eaten: 2. After lunch I headed back to my desk, where I made a variety of phone calls, typed up a bunch of letters, and sent tons of e-mails all afternoon. I also put up a new laminated world map that I bought at Borders. It looks great. I got all excited a short while ago because I've been obsessively checking my personal e-mail to see if Derek, the hottie from SF, wrote back to me, and he did. Yay! Now I'm getting ready to log off and head a few blocks away to Morton's, where I'm having dinner with some diplomats from Taiwan and six politicians. I don't eat steak but I'm sure they will have some veggie alternatives. I'm ready for people to ask me about my diet habits and why I don't eat meat, etc. That's kind of annoying, because I don't go around asking people why they choose to eat cow flesh. That just wouldn't be polite! Update: the dinner was nice. I had never been to Morton's and it was much as I expected: dark, with dark wood paneling. Very masculine. The highlight of the evening was a hot waiter. He was setting down coffee cups and saucers and dropped a couple of saucers. The older Taiwanese man sitting next to me made a joke that everyone could hear - he said to the waiter that he dropped the saucers probably because he was looking at me! I turned bright red and wished that were true! Otherwise, I had to sit around and listen to a bunch of elected officials talk about their upcoming junket to Taiwan. Stupidest comment of the evening: one of them (not to be named, of course) said that while they were in Taiwan, they should meet up with some colleagues in Tokyo one evening. Taipei is about 1,300 miles across the East China Sea from Japan. Riiight. Oh well, it's his first trip outside of the U.S., other than to Mexico. Oh, and he chairs a committee on international trade. What I ate at Morton's: bread, caesar salad (not very good), huge shrimp in a wine butter sauce with rice, raspberry sorbet, red wine. Who I sat next to: two Taiwanese doctors - one urologist and one pediatrician; a chief of staff to one of the electeds, and a diplomat from Taiwan who had previously been posted in Paraguay and Brazil. What everyone got as a gift: a wooden box filled with premium Taiwanese tea. All in all, not a bad evening. I may have to go back just to flirt with the cute waiter sometime.

International Affairs

2007-03-14T17:39:00.000-07:00

I just returned from a short trip to SF for the purpose of attending a Germany California Solar Day Conference that took place at PG&E headquarters. Much to my surprise, the event was attended by a number of very attractive men and very few women. Demographics were definitely on my side. Sitting in my row was one of the above-mentioned attractive men, a German guy who works in SF for a German firm with U.S. headquarters in Sacramento. I had a chance to talk (read: flirt) with him at the post-conference reception, over a couple of cold Beck's beers (well, he was drinking Dr. Pepper, I had the beer). We were arguing over the benefits of living in Sacramento because he sees none, having lived here for 8 months before getting transferred to SF. Despite the fact that he seems to hate my city, I think I'm in love. He said he visits Sac once a week or so for work, so I told him we'll have to get together when he's in town, so I can show him some good places. He turned it around and told me to contact him next time I'm in SF, so he can show me HIS city. Fair enough. Later on that evening, I had dinner with my cousin and her roommate and then we prepared for my date with a guy who I met at a Christmas party in December and haven't seen since. I convinced my cousin to be my wingman, or wingwoman, as it were, just in case I was totally not into the guy. He met us in the Mission district and we checked out a few bars before settling on a place called Bruno's. Very cool place, on Mission, very lounge-y with a jazz band playing. Perfect. Derek turned out to be just as cute as I remembered, and is tall, blond, and blue-eyed, very Northern European-looking. Turns out he grew up in the Netherlands, go figure. I was very impressed by this guy. He was very smooth and articulate and intelligent and seemed passionate about his work and his life and yes, it helps that he's nice to look at too. Well-dressed also. He drives one of those Mercedes hatchbacks, new. It's the first time he's owned a car in 10 years. He is 29, well within my age range and he seems several years older. He didn't ask me how old I am, I'm assuming he doesn't care about such non-essential things! Right. We left Bruno's and dropped Gen off at her apartment, a few blocks away. Derek proceeded to take me on this romantic late-night drive around the city, stopping to check out the view of Alcatraz from the Presidio (Inspiration Point, no less! Sounds cheesy but if you're with a hot guy, who cares). It was chilly and windy, brr. We got back in the car and headed downhill to the Palace of Fine Arts. It was very beautiful and we walked all around - it was empty and very quiet. We went back to his car and he told me that he was really glad I e-mailed him, and he told me that I was beautiful and then he made his move, not very smoothly, I might add. By this time it was after 1 a.m. so I suggested - reluctantly - that he take me back to Gen's place so I could get to sleep and be able to catch an early train back to Sacramento. He wanted to stay out longer, but I figured it would be good to leave him wanting something more. He walked me to the front door and kissed me goodnight and told me to let him know when I'm coming back. Soooo now I just need to come up with some more excuses to go to SF, but who am I going to contact first? The German hottie or the Dutch one? Decisions, decisions.

Blind Date Hell

2007-03-09T08:42:00.000-08:00

I had a blind date last night and arrived with zero expectations. I quickly realized I should have set the bar to a negative scale! Was he really that bad? You may ask. To answer, I have two words: Facial Tic. To make matters even worse for him (and me), he is unemployed and lives with his parents - "temporarily" he says, but later he said he's been back in the area for 2 years. He is 30 years old. He also has a large gap between his front two teeth. Despite all of this, he made it clear to me that he "dates a lot" and talked about different nice restaurants where he's been on dates. Uh huh. Probably one-offs with poor unsuspecting girls like me! I made conversation with him just to be polite, but felt that every moment was torture. After I finished my meal I excused myself and went to the ladies' room, where I called my friend Carolyn to report that things were not going well. I went back to the table and he said, "Did you have fun?" I was perplexed, and said,"In the restroom??" He said, "no, I meant tonight." I didn't know how what the appropriate answer was, and don't appreciate being put on the spot. Honesty seemed out of the question. I said "uh, yeah!" And he asked if I wanted to go out again. I just said I didn't know. He asked again a couple minutes later (it took forever for the server to bring back our change!) and I said I still wasn't sure. But I wished him the best of luck for his job search, so hopefully he got the hint that I don't plan on ever seeing him again. He seemed like a nice guy, and I hope he gets everything together in his life, but he was described to me as someone with whom I would have a lot in common and I am pretty disappointed that I was misled like that. That's an hour and 15 minutes of my life that I'll never get back. At least I can see the humor it the situation, I was laughing hysterically to myself in the car as I pulled away - the best laugh I've had in weeks!

I love...Sacramento??

2007-03-02T15:24:00.000-08:00

I had to do a write-up on Sacramento for a work project, and I found myself getting really into it. Maybe the Convention and Visitors Bureau should hire me! As I was writing this narrative, I was thinking, Sacramento IS a really nice place! Here is what I wrote:
"Sacramento and the surrounding region is one of the fastest-growing metropolitan areas in the U.S. and features large employers such as Intel, HP, Apple and NEC Electronics. The State of California is the largest employer in the Sacramento region, but the workforce is very diverse and generally protected from economic downswings. The unemployment rate is low, around 4%. Sacramento is well-known for its gold rush history. The city was founded in 1848 by Swiss immigrant John Sutter. The city was a major transportation point for the Pony Express and the transcontinental railroad. Sacramento still embraces its gold rush history with well-preserved state parks and museums, including Sutter’s Fort, the Crocker Art Musuem, the California State Railroad Museum, the California Indian Museum, and more. Old Sacramento is a carefully restored state historic park area, depicting the city during gold rush times. It is the city’s most popular tourist destination. Modern-day Sacramento is well-known for being the home of Arco Arena and the NBA’s Sacramento Kings, as well as the AAA baseball team, the River Cats. Sacramento is an outdoor sports haven, with a mild climate that encourages outdoor activity all year long. Sacramento is a bicyclist’s dream, with flat streets and a 26-mile paved bike path that follows the American River from Old Sacramento to Folsom. Water sports are especially popular, and many visitors enjoy river boat cruises that embark from the docks in Old Sacramento and cruise along the Sacramento River, one of the Central Valley’s and the agricultural industry’s most important waterways. Folsom Lake and the American River parkway are also very popular leisure spots for boating, waterskiing, fishing, and kayaking. The Sacramento region is also home to two major universities: California State University, Sacramento, and the University of California, Davis. There are a number of community colleges in the region as well. Sacramento’s Midtown neighborhood, adjacent to Downtown, is home to a variety of unique restaurants, bars and nightlife entertainment options. The neighborhood is characterized by historic Victorian homes and leafy trees that shade the streets from the hot summer sun. Sacramento’s close-in neighborhoods of Land Park and East Sacramento are great places to go walking, bike riding or jogging and see examples of pre-WWII bungalow homes. In addition, the city is only 1.5 hours drive from San Francisco, one hour from wine country in Napa, and 1.5 hours from scenic Lake Tahoe and the ski slopes. In short, Sacramento is a great city in which to work and live!" Who knew??

Busy, busy

2007-02-21T18:41:00.000-08:00

Have been too busy with work lately to worry too much about boys. The most excitement I've had lately was flirting with a hot waiter at the Chi Cha Lounge in Washington DC last Thursday. Half price ($4) tapas during happy hour - I highly recommend the place. Hopefully I'll have some good stories to tell after this weekend. We're celebrating my friend Carolyn's 35th birthday on Saturday night with the crew - something fun and interesting is bound to happen then!

Oops!

2007-02-09T16:48:00.000-08:00

Number one most-embarrassing work moment: yesterday afternoon I was in my office making some phone calls. I was calling someone in SF. I have to dial a "9" and then the number. Pretty standard operating procedure, right? I guess I was dialing a bit fast and I accidentally pushed 9-1-1-415 and the number, instead of 9-1-415, etc. I quickly realized my mistake and hung up, then proceeded to re-dial and I left a message. Well...about 15 minutes later, this really cute Sac PD officer shows up at my office door, soaking wet from the rain, and casually asks if anyone from our office dialed 911! I am sure I turned bright red - and I admitted that I made a dialing mistake and that it could possibly have been me. Oops! I felt like a total idiot, except it really was a very innocent mistake. Besides, the phone system should be set up so you have to dial 9911 if you have an emergency! Not my fault. The funniest thing was that he was not upset at all - in fact, he stepped into my office and commented on what a nice view I had from my window! Then, a co-worker said, "Oh, you should see the view from the other side of the office! Do you want a tour?" And he actually went on a tour of the office with her! Later, when he was leaving, I apologized again, and he said he didn't mind a chance to come in and dry off from the rain. Oh my gosh. Then, everyone was teasing me, saying that I called "911" to get a cute cop to come up to the office! I wonder when I'll hear the end of it. He really was cute though...

Is the Grass Greener?

2007-01-29T09:08:00.000-08:00

I read an article in the paper about a couple in New York City who decided they wanted to move to a new place, but they couldn't decide where. In the spirit of reality TV, they decided to let America choose. They created a website and listed about 200 cities where they would consider moving to, and asked people to go to the website to vote. The city that garnered 1 million votes first would win. It became quite a heated competition, with Denver ultimately winning. They moved to Denver sometime in January, I believe. This interesting story has got me thinking about whether the grass really is greener somewhere else. I've never been content to stay in the same place for very long. Not because I'm unhappy, but because life is short - too short to be confined to one city, one state, one country, one continent even. There is always the thought that moving somewhere new will bring with it new adventures, new friends, perhaps new romantic interests. Most of all for me, it's been a great learning experience and has allowed me to broaden my horizons exponentially. I've been thinking a little bit about other cities where I'd like to live. Sacramento is nice enough, but I'm kind of over California. Real estate and therefore the cost of living here is so high, and it would be nice to buy a house or a condo, but what I could get for my (hard-earned) money is not very impressive. So - looking outside of CA, there are several factors that are important to me. I am somewhat of a West Coast snob. Since my family and a lot of my friends live in CA, I wouldn't want to live too many time zones or airmiles away. Weather is also key. Growing up in Nor Cal, where (in my opinion) we have one of the best climates in the world, it would be tough to move to a place where it snows or is below freezing a lot of the time. I know, because I've done that twice. This basically narrows it down to cities in Oregon, Washington, Arizona and Hawaii. Denver (or as my friend Lyric calls it "Menver") sounds great, but - snow. No thank you. AZ sounds too hot. Hawaii - too expensive and too far away. Although, if a good enough job offer came my way, it would be hard to pass up. I am a big fan of Oregon and Washington, both places that aren't very welcoming to erstwhile Californians. Hmm. I really like Portland and from what I've seen of Seattle, it's a great city. I know it's rainy there, and that's definitely a consideration. But, I'll take rain over snow any day. It doesn't really matter because I'm not planning on going anywhere anytime soon, but I'm always looking ahead, wondering where I'll end up next. And I do plan to visit my friend Natalie in Denver, when the weather's better.

Younger Men

2007-01-19T12:44:00.000-08:00

This topic is on my mind because I've gone on dates with two 25-year-old men in the last two weeks. My friend Blake, dear friend that he is, gives me a hard time about going out with younger men. I checked my records to see how strong the trend toward younger guys really is. Yes, I keep a journal that has a list of guys I've spent "quality" time with. (Does anyone else do this??) Interestingly, 20 of the last 30 guys I've "hung out" with have been younger than me. Some have been much younger (like 7-9 years younger) and some just a year or two. Nevertheless, this is an obvious theme in my dating life. I also noted that when I was younger, I almost exclusively went out with older men. It's an interesting reversal and I think it's pretty common among women my age who are still single.

Bummer

2007-01-16T13:54:00.000-08:00

My future Australian husband just called to say he won't be able to make it to Sac tonight. Sad! He did say, however, that it's been "bloody ages" since he's seen me and that he'll make an effort to get up here sometime soon. Yay :)

The Intimidation Factor

2007-01-16T11:29:00.000-08:00

Last night I had a date with a 25-year-old guy -- this is the second time in 2 weeks that I've gone out with 25-year-olds! I guess I should take it as a compliment that much younger men want to go out with me. I'm just wondering where all of the 30 and older men are. I guess they're at home with their wives and kids? They're definitely not hanging out at the Momo Lounge on Saturday nights, which is where I met the latest young guy. Marco (his real name) and I met at Bistro 33 on 16th and K last night at 9 pm, for a drink. He told me that he initially didn't think he should call me because he was intimidated by my job title and position at work. He said that he just called me "to be nice." He said he's not that smart of a guy, which I didn't believe. I certainly appreciated his honesty and was suprised that he actually was intimated by me. I hear that excuse a lot, that guys are probably intimidated by successful, smart women, but I thought it was just a load of crap. Maybe it's true? I told him that my friends wanted me to tell him I worked at Mervyn's. He laughed, but I got the impression that he would be more interested in me if in fact I did have a lower-level type of job. It doesn't really matter in this case, because I'm not interested in dating Marco, but I wonder if other guys out there feel the same way he does. Toward the end of the evening, he finally asked me how old I was and I told him 32. He said he would have guessed that I was younger. I asked him how old he was and he got really embarrassed and didn't want to tell me. I guessed that he was 25 and he said I was right. At least I got a glass of wine and an appetizer out of it. When I went out to my car, I was dismayed to find no fewer than 100 bird craps all over it. I've been told that in some cultures, that is a sign of good luck. I hope so, because tonight I'm having dinner with the Australian guy I'm in love with. He's age-appropriate (32) and gorgeous, and my dream future husband, but unfortunately he has a beautiful girlfriend in San Francisco. Unless he's asking me to dinner to tell me that he dumped his girfriend and wants to be with an intellectual woman like me :)

Follow-up

2007-01-09T18:39:00.000-08:00

This was my date's idea of follow-up. No phone call to say "Hey, I had a really great time on Friday night, let's do it again soon." No. I received an e-mail from him on Monday morning that read "guess who has a cold this morning?" He's aparently alleging that I'm the source of his newfound sickness, probably because I was coughing on Friday night. Want to know what I wrote back? "Guess who’s skin is peeling off her chin like she has a bad sunburn??" I have sensitive skin...he has a goatee...or rather, a wanna-be goatee. Kid is 25 but looks about 19. That's what made this whole situation so wrong. Later on I spoke with him and suggested that the girl he made out with on New Year's Eve (assuming there was someone he made out with, I on the other hand was not so lucky) was probably the culprit, since the cold virus needs time to work itself into the system. He wasn't buying it.

"Why are you still single??"

2007-01-08T11:47:00.000-08:00

Ah, a question I have come to loathe. As I get older, I get asked this question more and more often. In fact, I was asked this question by a guy I was on a date with on Friday night. My first instinct is to be offended, because to me, he may as well have asked, "what is wrong with you that no guys want to be with you?" I guess that's my insecurity roaring its ugly head. It would never occur to me to actually ask someone this question, especially since I myself am also "still single." My friend Blake says one should offer a humorous reply and then change the subject. Here are some other alternative answers: from Bridget Jones' Diary (by way of Carolyn): all of us 'singletons' have scales under our clothes, didn't you know?; I am actually a psycho bitch from hell who will drive any man insane; I have a serious personality disorder; I have committed multiple crimes and spent most of my adult life in jail, thus preventing me from forming any kind of meaningful relationship, outside of pen-pal correspondence; I am in fact married and am looking to have a meaningless fling; or...fill in the blank and let me know what you recommend I say the next time I get asked this question, because I guarantee it will happen again soon. The last time it happened was last month, and the asker was my boss, of all people. He started out by saying "what's your story?" and then proceeded to try to be politically correct by asking if there's a special woman or man in my life! I cracked up and told him that I'm straight, as a matter of fact. Then he told me that if he was single, he would date me. Thanks! My married- with-kids boss (who is kinda hot, for the record) would hypothetically take me on a date if he was single. I told him I'm willing to be set up and asked if he knew any men between the ages of 30 and 40, who had a job, who were straight and taller than me. That's my criteria. He offered the name of one guy, who one of my co-workers has dated. The guy I went out with on Friday night actually only met one of my standards - he has a job. So, he's short and young (5'7" 1/2 and 25, to be exact). He's a distraction, is basically what he is. And, finally, this is how he asked the question above and how I answered: "You're a good-looking girl, you have a great job, a great apartment, why are you still single?" Me: (after going off on him for asking the question in the first place and telling him I was offended) "Because I haven't met anyone for whom it would be worth it to NOT be single." After all, that's what it's all about, right?

Resolutions

2006-12-30T23:15:00.000-08:00

I dug out one of my old journals the other night and was pretty amused by what I had written. The first entry was dated January 1, 2002. I was curious to see what I was thinking five years ago. My list of New Years' resolutions was as follows: get whiter teeth, eat healthy, exercise more, stop biting nails, learn Spanish, get rid of credit card debt, save money, keep my checking account balanced, and do some volunteer work. I'm sorry to say that of all of these things, the only one I've accomplished has been to pay off my credit card debt. And that just occurred this week! I should say I have made an effort to learn Spanish. I took a 6-week course, bought a book and a phrase book. This all took place in 2006.

My journal for the first week of 2002 went something like this:
January 2: "still eating well and exercising." Well, it's only been one day! I should hope so. Next day: "eating good today. didn't exercise." Hm, already starting to go downhill. January 4: "eating somewhat worse today. was hungry often. had muffin from La Bou and some chocolates. didn't exercise. Forgot. But will work out a lot this weekend." January 5: "not a very healthy eating day. went downhill when I ate a box of Junior Mints at the movies. Then had pizza and See's Candies later." The rest of the journal pretty much follows this pattern. I think this is why I stopped making resolutions - never kept them, so what was the point? However, if I were going to make resolutions, they would probably be the following: save money, stop biting my nails, do some volunteer work, eat healthy and exercise more. Oh, and keep better track of my checking account. Hm, this list looks pretty familiar! I'll check back in 2012 and see if I've made any progress!

Mistakes

2006-12-27T10:08:00.000-08:00

One of my very good friends got married over the summer to a guy who she had been dating for about 5 years. When they first started dating, she was the "other woman." He was cheating on his girlfriend with her. This went on for about a year, until the girlfriend found out and dumped him. My friend and this guy, now her husband, had a very tumultuous relationship, to say the least. He cheated on her when they were dating and when they were living together. He continues to go out multiple times a week with his drinking buddies and sometimes doesn't bother coming home. He is living the college party lifestyle even though he is almost 40 years old. Some 21 year old girl has a crush on him and calls him and sends him text messages all the time, and he allows it. He is never without his phone, and is constantly sending and receiving texts from his friends. He even sleeps with his phone! All of his friends do drugs and he claims he does not, although he manages to go 2 days without sleeping sometimes. Right. Why she married him, I do not know. She is really unhappy, and she hoped he would change his ways when they tied the knot. Didn't happen. He is who he is, and now she feels stuck in a bad situation. To make matters worse, she's pregnant. I think she wanted to get pregnant so that he would change. Now she's realizing he's probably never going to change. She doesn't want to be a single mom, but she also doesn't want to raise a child with a father that is never there. Quite a dilemma. I don't know what I would do.

Another friend recently got married to a guy who is about 20 years older than her and has already been married 4 times, and has 5 children, one of whom is only 2 years younger than she is. He's also an alcoholic, a pothead, and a former crack addict who has been institutionalized. Twice. Oh, and he's already cheated on her multiple times. To reward him, she marries him? I don't get it.

By the way, both of these women are young, beautiful, intelligent (notwithstanding their choice in men), and have everything in the world going for them. Me? I'd rather be single FOREVER than be married to guys like these.

Things that annoy me

2006-12-27T10:06:00.000-08:00

1. My neighbor clomping around upstairs when I am trying to sleep.
2. Felix meowing loudly in the morning, begging for food, when I am trying to sleep.
3. Guys who say they will call and don't.
4. Grammar mistakes such as misuse of apostrophes. Using plural when possessive is intended and vice versa. Example: "The Smith's" and "1980's".

Cough, cough

2006-12-22T18:10:00.000-08:00

Being sick sucks. I haven't been able to take any time off work, but here is a list of all the things I've missed out on by being sick this week: holiday party at 33rd St. Bistro with my friends, dinner with a cute AF pilot, going to the Wrangler Bar (although, since I've never been, I don't know what I missed), an authentic home-cooked Italian dinner, going out to The Park with my friend Jason, going to see The Holiday with Kristin, and most of all, I'm missing out on going to the annual Triple Xmas Party tonight! This is a great party and a Sacramento Christmas tradition. It's a sex toy exchange party. Last year I came home with a Squirting Realistic Cock. No joke. Good times! (NO I have not used it...I plan on keeping it till I can re-gift it to the right person at the right time.) So, I'll go home and once again lay on the couch, watching DVDs and going to bed at 10 am. Then tomorrow I have to finish my Christmas shopping. Which I started two days ago.

The Nerve!

2006-12-18T17:46:00.000-08:00

Just got back to my office from a meeting and was very surprised to see this message from Christopher in my e-mail inbox:

hi michele,

hey, i had a great time on saturday night, thanks again for inviting me. you have a really nice group of friends. it was good to see the ones i had met before and meet the new ones. what wasn't fun was getting home at 4:30am and getting up at 7:30am to hand out christmas presents in oak park! but it was worth it, for both.

my warmest,

christopher

WTF?? "new ones" indeed! So, he's basically telling me he was probably with his "new one" until at least 4 am because he lives a half hour from where the club was. Unbelievable.

I don't intend this blog to be an outlet for man-bashing, by any means, but come on - this guy deserves it! Hopefully I'll have more positive stories to tell in the near future. The Triple X-Mas Party is coming up on Friday night, after all. A Christmas sex-toy exchange party is always a good time!

An Unfortunate Series of Events at the Pub Crawl on Saturday

2006-12-18T12:09:00.000-08:00

First (and last!) Holiday Pub Crawl, Saturday December 16, 2006
I live within walking distance of several of midtown's finest drinking establishments and thought it would be fun to organize a mini Pub Crawl just in time for the holiday season. A friend from LA who happens to be an ex (but I swear we're now just good friends) was staying at my place for the weekend and helped me to get everything set up. I was excited that Christopher (his real name - like I mentioned in my first post, not everyone is innocent) was going to be coming. This is a guy I met over the summer and had been talking to and hanging out with a lot lately. Just as friends, but with the distinct possibility that something more could develop. He also invited a friend of his who lives near me. About a dozen or so people showed up at my place for cocktails and snacks, then we set out for the first bar, the Zebra Club. More friends showed up there, and we headed to stop #2, the Old Tavern. Even more joined us there, and I counted about 27 people total. This is where the night started to get weird. Let me back up a moment: earlier that afternoon, I was carrying groceries in from the car and ran into my next-door neighbor. He is a friendly guy (but absolutely not attractive in the least - this will be important later) who I chat with every so often. He asked me what was new, and I decided to be nice (yes, this does take some effort for me!) and I said I was having some people over that night and he was welcome to come by. He said he would meet up with us at one of the bars on our route. Great. Didn't give it another thought, till he showed up at the Old Tav. So we left for the Press Club, our final destination that evening. The neighbor bought me a cocktail and started asking me how all of my friends knew each other. I got distracted - maybe by Christopher? Not sure, but I went and talked to him or someone else. Later on, one of my friends came up to me and told me that neighbor guy apparently thought of me as more than just the girl next door, and wanted to find out what I thought of him. (Ew - that's what I think.) Then he asked my friend if it would be appropriate for him to go up to a girl and ask her if she wanted to get married! He said to my friend that she shouldn't start planning our wedding just yet. Um, scary! He immediately turned into Creepy Neighbor Guy. I pretended that my friend from LA was my boyfriend, because I couldn't locate Christopher. Once Creepy guy figured out that I was taken, he started hitting on another one of my friends. Poor girl. The conversation went something like this: Creepy Neighbor Guy (CNG): So, do you have a husband or a boyfriend? My friend: "No..." CNG: "Do you want to go on a date sometime?" My friend: "Um, just because I don't have a husband or boyfriend doesn't mean I'm not involved with someone." CNG: "Do you want to go somewhere and make out?" (Seriously!! He said this!) My friend: "NO!" (horrified - ew!). I felt so bad that I invited him. But, how was I to know? He continue to stare at me on the dance floor and I wanted to get away from him. Meanwhile, where's Christopher?? Well, let me tell you. He had apparently found a new friend on the dance floor, some short girl with long bleached blond hair, and was hanging out with her the entire evening. Obviously, this annoyed me, but I had bigger issues to deal with (CNG). I found a spot on the dance floor where I could see Christopher and the blond chick talking in the bar area. I was trying to see what was going on. I was trying to convince myself that she was some long-lost friend and they were catching up with each other. This is what I wanted to believe, clearly. Eventually I walked over behind them and he kind of poked me and I ignored him. The girl was holding his arm like he belonged to her. Hmm. Not looking good for me, not at all. Someone else says "hi" to me and it is another guy who was on my pub crawl. I don't know him very well at all, but he seems like a decent guy. He is somewhat attractive, but short. I'm kind of tall, so this is important. I'm not one of those 5 foot tall girls who refuses to date guys shorter than 6 feet tall. No. I just want someone who is my height or taller. I don't think that's asking a lot. Anyway, I'm distracted by the nice guy and still trying to spy on Christopher and the blond chick. Then CNG comes up to say goodbye. Thank goodness! He leaves. I talk to the nice guy. CNG comes back and says, "Uh, are you dating anyone?" I lie and say "yes!" He says, "Oh, OK, well - good! That's great." Eww! Finally he left for good. Then the nice guy asks me out. I said yes, to be nice (again - have to make an effort!). Meanwhile, I'm trying to take in everything that's happening: my neighbor has manifested himself as a total weirdo and may be stalking me in the future; the guy I like, and who I thought liked me, has decided to completely ignore me and take up with some hoochie-looking chick; and now this other random dude is asking me out. In the meantime, one of my friends, who is in law enforcement, ironically, has gotten kicked out of the club and is outside being interrogated by Sac PD. Great! I decide it's time to call it a night and leave before anything else can happen. I grab my friend from LA and tell him I'm ready to go. We leave and I'm really, really pissed. As in mad. And, yes, a little drunk. I'm pissed at men and I take it out on him. We go home and eat leftover party snacks and drink water so we won't be hungover in the a.m. Fast forward to Monday afternoon - I haven't heard from Christopher, nor do I expect to EVER. I found out from Blake that Christopher and the hoochie chick were making out at the bar after I left. At least they had the decency to wait until I left!! His number has been deleted from my phone and I will delete him from my myspace friends list. I hope to never see him again, but unfortunately we're both involved with the same organization and will most likely run into each other at events related to that. Bummer. Luckily I haven't yet seen CNG, but seeing as how he does live next door, it's only a matter of time. And my friends think I should give the nice guy a chance. We'll see.

I created this blog because...

2006-12-18T12:01:00.000-08:00

...I have a lot of stories to tell about things that happen to me and the group of friends I hang out with in Sacramento, CA. I have other friends that are spread out all over the country and the state and since it's sometimes hard to find time to talk on the phone or send individual emails to them, so I thought writing a blog would be a great way to keep in touch. And hopefully I'll amuse a few people too! I chose the name "Adventures in the (916)" based on the title of a novel I read, but of course because I'm writing about events taking place in my city. Depending on my mood, I may or may not change names of actual characters to protect the innocent. Some are not so innocent...