Confessions of a Slacker

I confess, I’ve been a total slacker the last couple of weeks at work. I plan on picking up the pace next week, because I’ve learned that NOT working actually makes the day go by much slower, and I feel much more sluggish at the end of the day. Not worth it! Plus I feel a little guilty too. How have I been keeping myself occupied? Well, I spend a lot of time job-searching. I used to feel uncomfortable using state time and computers to search for other jobs, but now I can justify it, because I feel very uncertain about my future employment situation.

Today I took it a step further and actually applied for a job online. It probably took me about half an hour, so I called it my lunch break. I find very few jobs that I actually want to apply for, and I think this is the only job I’ve applied for. It’s something in Sacramento, in the private sector. Not my ideal job, but according to the description, it appeared to be something I’d be at least relatively qualified for. I have no idea what the salary would be. I mostly applied in the hopes I’ll get called for an interview, because I think it will be good practice to do some job interviews. It’s a fairly large corporation, and I imagine they’ll get a lot of applications for this position, so I don’t have high expectations that I’ll be considered. If I really wanted to pursue it, I could probably call a couple of people who could put in a good word. But I am not going to that length, I suppose I’m not that desperate yet.

The other thing I’ve been doing while I’m supposed to be working is studying for this horrendous exam required for those who wish to serve the US as diplomats. I took the exam yesterday afternoon and would be shocked if I actually passed. Most disappointing was that I spent what I consider to be a great deal of time studying and preparing. The questions I thought were difficult were on topics I feel to be rather obscure. I thought to myself during the test, there’s no way I could have studied more and done better. I did my best, and made a number of educated guesses, but my sense is that I missed too many to get a passing score.

The exam has four sections: job knowledge, which is the part that I found most difficult. The questions test your knowledge of US and world history, culture, world geography, the political system, etc. The next section was an opportunity to answer questions about yourself. I found it a little weird, even though I had sample questions and knew what to expect. I just don’t know how they grade this section. The English expression section was very, very easy. I mean, I was almost laughing during it because it was so simple. Anyone who’s a native English speaker would breeze through it. The final portion was a timed essay. We were provided with a prompt – I know that there are different prompts out there, so the topics vary – and you have to write a persuasive essay, arguing your position one way or another, in 30 minutes. I had done some practice essays to see how fast I could write and I felt pretty confident that I could get it done in 30 minutes. I did finish just in time and didn’t have time to review, but I think I did well enough to get a passing score, which is all I need.

My thought about this whole process now that it’s over – first of all, I’m relieved! No more studying, and my life can get back to normal. By that I mean I can stop making excuses to not clean my house. Last weekend, I pretty much sequestered myself to the house and studied all day long, both days. Ugh. I’m happy to regain my free time. I also feel that if it’s meant to be, I will pass, and that if I don’t, that means I don’t have the knowledge, experience, or qualities they are looking for. Fortunately I have a number of other interests that I can and will pursue. All I know for sure is that I have to take action to change my current employment situation because I don’t know how much longer I can bear it.

Cash Log

I was reading a blog this afternoon that features money-saving tips. One entry was particularly interesting, it was the "money diary" of a 25-year-old woman. For a number of days, she wrote about what she spent her money on. Mostly, she felt guilty about spending money she didn't have - she was buying a lot of things with her credit card. I've been thinking a lot lately - worrying a lot, actually - about money and the need to spend less because of what I see as an unstable employment future. I thought I'd give the money diary a shot. Here goes:

Friday, June 12: Today was payday. Normally this would be exciting, because it appears that I have a fairly significant amount of money in my checking account. The reality is that I have to stash about half of my paycheck away so that I can make the mortgage payment on July 1. Also, my student loan payment cleared today. That's another big chunk. I made an online payment for my credit card, and that should clear tomorrow. I did deposit my travel reimbursement check today, which covers the credit card and then some, so that is reassuring.

I mostly spent money on little things today. I bought a couple pieces of candy at See's. I think I spent about $1.45 there. I stopped at Safeway on my way home and spent about $14 on groceries, some stuff for dinner and some fruit. I decided to stay home tonight because I wanted to relax after a stressful week. I did treat myself to a movie at Blockbuster, which set me back $4.88. I bought some candy for $0.88. And I think that's about it.

Lately I've been leaving my wallet at home when I go to work, so I won't be tempted to go buy stuff. This is mostly to prevent me from buying cookies or other unnecessary food during the day - like the See's candy today! It works pretty well and I can kill two birds with one stone - save money and save calories.