Draft E-mail Message to G.

Dear G,

Just curious, were you ever planning to apologize to me? For what? I can picture you thinking. Well, I waited for you - by myself - last Saturday night at the bar for FORTY MINUTES. 40 minutes in which you didn't think to contact me and let me know that you and your friends went to another bar instead. No. You did not think. That is the problem. Meanwhile, I was sitting at the bar at Shady Lady BY MYSELF on a Saturday night waiting for you to show up. When I finally left the bar at 10:40 pm, I was not happy. I felt like a total idiot that I waited there for you. I felt really stupid for expecting that you would show up. I wanted to cry, but didn't allow it. Know why? Because you're not worth it. I'm not going to waste my tears on some 28-year-old guy who I barely know.

I went home, put on my sweats, and climbed into bed. I checked my phone and saw a text message from you. (That's another thing - why can't you ever make a simple phone call instead of texting??). You wrote that you and your friends stopped for a drink at Hangar 17 and could I meet you there? And if not, you would "see me soon". Uh, no. Because you know what? I was at home. In bed. You might understand now why I did not bother replying to that message.

While I'm at it, I'm going to give you some unsolicited advice. From your behavior, it seems like you don't have a lot of experience with women. I find this surprising, given that you're an attractive, 28-year-old guy who has gone to college and no doubt had many opportunities with women. However, I recommend that in the future, you CALL instead of text, and if you say you're going to show up somewhere, do it and don't leave a girl sitting by herself in a crowded bar on a Saturday night. A couple of things can happen. First of all, she's going to be super pissed at you. Secondly, some other dude could pick up on her. In my case, a very nice guy started talking to me. He happened to be the assistant manager at the Sunglass Hut in the Roseville Galleria Mall, for your information. He wasn't my type, but that's beside the point.

It's been...interesting, I suppose, knowing you. I wish you the best of luck and I'm sorry that you decided to be so flaky, because if there's one thing I have zero patience for, it's flakiness.

Happy Thanksgiving!

- M.

Parking Garage/Bus Station Employee

I started my new job this week and I'm ready to look for another new job. Seriously. On Monday and Tuesday, I had to drive to Walnut Creek (approx. 75 mi.) and pick up two co-workers in Sacramento on the way there. Total pain in the ass. I don't even want to get into the annoying details. Let's just say I was late on my first day of work and I was not happy. I hate driving, by the way. I especially hate driving 165 miles in one day, for two days in a row. On Wednesday, my commute was shorter and I only had to drive to Fairfield, which is about 45 miles away. Hate. It. Driving, that is.

Get this. My new office is in a parking garage. Literally, it is a little office that is part of a parking garage. It is a nice parking garage, but still. I work in a parking garage. At least my car is only steps away. Ha ha. Too bad I can't laugh about this now. Just kidding. My co-workers and I laughed our asses off when we saw the office for the first time and came to the realization that we work.in.a.parking.garage!!!!


Not only do we work in a parking garage, but the parking garage is part of the Fairfield Transit Center. Which is the main commuter bus depot in town. Someone came to the office yesterday afternoon and asked me if I had bus information. This is my life now.

I almost forgot to mention the bathroom situation. The first thing I asked when I walked into the office was "where is the bathroom?" If you walk outside of the office, you'll find public restrooms around the corner. Public, as in, for anyone who walks in off the street, such as transients. Hmmm. Luckily, there is a nice bathroom option too. But that is a farther walk. There is a nice office building a couple hundred yards away and we can use their bathroom. In fact, they encourage us to use their bathroom. But, not between 12 and 1, because they are closed for lunch. And not after 5, when they close. Other than that, great!

There is also zero privacy in the office. It is just an open space with several desks. The room is about 2o by 25 feet.

I'm so tired every night by the time I get home. I think it's because of the driving, because I'm not waking up that much earlier than before.

I've also been working on a job application every night this week. I finally finished it tonight - which was also the deadline. It's a foreign service job with the U.S. Dept. of Commerce. I've applied for the job before, in 2005, when I was about to finish my year in Germany. I got denied. They've changed the application, but it's still very challenging. I would be very surprised if I was contacted for an interview. But it was worth a shot. The department only opens this recruitment once every two years.

SF Day

I scheduled a day of meetings in SF because I wanted to see this guy Adam who I have a huge crush on. Once I knew he was available for happy hour, I arranged to meet with a number of other people, starting at lunchtime. It worked out well. I had lunch with my friend from Taiwan, coffee with my friend from Canada, and an interesting bubbly (non-alchoholic) beverage with my friend from Germany. Adam asked me to meet him at a bar called House of Shields. I got there early and noted it was very loud, dark and crowded. He walked in and gave me a hug (yay!). He asked if I wanted to go somewhere else, somewhere quieter. Yes, yes I did. We walked around and checked out no fewer than 4 other bars before finally finding someplace where we would get a table at the bar. He ordered beer and I had a glass of zin. We shared calamari. He was very friendly and asked me a lot of questions. About halfway into our conversation, I detected that he had a girlfriend. Darn it. I was disappointed. But still had a good time. He lives in the Berkeley Hills and commutes to SF for work. He surfs and drives a VW Jetta station wagon (probably good to accomodate his surfboard). He grew up in Miami but never went to Disney World. Interesting guy, someone I'd like to spend more time and get to know, but alas he has a g-friend. Lucky girl. It goes without saying that I hate her. He downed two beers pretty quickly. He paid the bill. We walked to BART and took the train together to North Berkeley, his stop. That was another half hour of conversation, which was nice. I continued on to Richmond, end of the line, where my car was parked. Overall, a nice evening, but could have been much better.

Ambiguity

My sister described G. as "ambiguous" because he is this guy I've been spending time with and I can't figure out whether he likes me as more than a friend. So now I call him "Mr. Ambiguity". Very fitting. We saw each other on Sunday and Monday. Sunday, he joined me and my friends for wine tasting and a picnic. He baked brownies. And he looked gorgeous, as usual. But I got nothing from him - no signal regarding how he thinks of me. So frustrating. Monday night, he met me at a bar (the bar where we met, actually). I started a conversation about past relationships, and it went pretty well. I found out something important: he dates women. Yay! That's a good starting point. He told me that he was dating someone two months ago. That wasn't long before we met. It sounded like she dumped him and he was pretty bummed about it. He said they dated for a month and a half. He asked me about my last relationship and I told him a little bit about why things didn't work out between Rob and me. For each of the reasons, he would make a statement indicating that he wasn't like that. Hm, interesting. We left and he drove me home. He came inside to change into his running clothes - he was going to the park for a 3-mile run. He left and said "see ya later" or something non-committal. I couldn't stand it anymore, and I walked outside as he was putting his clothes in his trunk. I said, "I want to ask you something before you go running." I said I was sorry to put him on the spot but that I wondered what he thought of me - whether he liked me as just a friend or ?? And he said that he absolutely likes me as a friend, and he is trying to figure out whether it can be something more. I was disappointed but at least it wasn't a total failure. He said that he is attracted to me, so that was a highlight. However, he said that he still thinks about that girl who dumped him. He said he really enjoys spending time with me. We agreed that we would keep hanging out and just see what happens. It was an awkward conversation but I'm glad it happened, because I don't enjoy not knowing. So what did I learn? That he does feel ambiguous - about me.

Tired of Texting

One of the (many) problems with dating - or trying to date - younger men is that they prefer to communicate via text messaging. Or maybe it's not age-related, I don't know. But most of the guys I get involved with "talk" to me via text and sometimes (if I'm lucky) via e-mail.

Take G., for example. He's 28 and I don't think he knows how old I am. It hasn't come up in conversation, but I'm sure he knows I'm older. If I don't step in and call him, or specifically request that he call me, our conversations would be 100% text. Not OK. I don't mind using text messaging in some instances, but you can't have an actual conversation. Then again, this guy has other issues. For example, we went out last Friday and he dropped me off at home. He asked me if he could stay over because he was too tired to drive home. I said yes but felt it was somewhat awkward, since we hadn't even kissed or exchanged any sort of affectionate moments. He said he wanted to sleep in my bed with me. And that's what he did. No good night kiss, nothing. He offered to cuddle if I got cold. Huh. I was really confused. Then he wanted to go to breakfast in the morning. I continued to be confused. I'm supposed to see him in a couple of days, but only because I invited him to meet me somewhere, and because we had a phone conversation requested by me. At least he can follow instructions, and he called me when I asked him to.

The day before my boss's election, I got a mysterious text message from a (619) number - that's San Diego. It said "good luck tomorrow!" I had no idea who it was from and I don't have many friends in SD. I forgot about it until Wednesday, when I received another message from the same number saying "congrats". Finally I replied and said "thanks, who is this?" And got a message back saying "Lovell. Ha." That's this guy, J., who I met in August at a friend's birthday party. We went out once and had a great time. We drank two bottles of wine and made out for a few minutes. We exchanged a couple of text messages (of course) the following week, and then all communication ceased because I never heard back from him. Another one of those dating mysteries. Oh well. I pretty much forgot about it. This one is only 26, by the way. So I wrote him back "I wondered what happened to you" and he said "Tell me about it. I was in trial for 5 weeks." He is an attorney. O-K. Still annoyed. I wrote him back today (why?? I don't know) and said "let me know if you want to get together again sometime" and what response did I get? None. Figures.

The third guy is N., in San Francisco. He doesn't really call me either, but he'll respond to my e-mails very quickly. I saw him two weeks ago and thought things went extremely well, but I haven't heard from him since. Wonder if I have to e-mail him? Ugh. It's so much work, for so little in return.

Finally - my crush. I know, I have many. But really, this is the guy I've been crazy about for more than two years, ever since I first saw him in July 2007. I saw him at the trade show in Anaheim and I'm still in love. He doesn't have a clue, as far as I know. I invited him to our party but he didn't show. However, he had sent me an e-mail asking me if I was still at the party, knowing I would get it on my Blackberry. But I didn't get it, I left the phone in my hotel room. Grr. I didn't write back. He sent me another message the next morning, asking how the party was and saying he was sorry he couldn't make it. I wrote him back a few days later and said I was going to be in SF next week, and did he want to meet for happy hour? He does. Yessss. I'm making plans to head over there next Tuesday and we are all set to meet at 6 pm at some bar in the Fin Dist. I am ridiculously excited. I have liked him for so long. Maybe, just maybe, he likes me too? Given my luck, totally unlikely. But still I try.

Guys, please - call a woman if you want to talk to her. Stop sending text messages!

Update - "Younger Man"

Re: http://adventuresinthe916.blogspot.com/2009/08/younger-man.html

Yeah. That was a no-go. He never called me. I sent him a text the next week saying I hoped he was having a great weekend in Vegas (Labor Day Weekend). He wrote me back saying "I hate Vegas". I wrote him saying "Care to elaborate?" and never heard back.

Kind of bizarre. But, whatever.

A Taste of Sacramento

Last Friday I attended the "Taste of Sacramento" event, a fundraiser for Easter Seals. It's one of those wine and food sampling events where various wineries, breweries and restaurants offer up tastings and small portions for attendees. I arrived with three friends and met up with three other friends at the party. At various times in the night, I was with different people or just wandering around by myself, basically trying to drink as much wine as possible (wanted to get my $30 worth, you know). As is common at these events, there were super-long lines at the food vendors, so I didn't get too much to eat. But I also didn't feel hungry. My three original friends left fairly early, as they were frustrated by the food line situation. I was happy to stay and wait it out. I left with one friend plus two of her friends (a married couple) and we headed to DeVere's, an Irish pub nearby.

We found a table at the pub and proceeded to order some food: fish and chips for the couple, and my friend and I split an order of fries (I mean chips) and dipping sauces. I had a Harp, my friend ordered a Hoegaarden. After a while, the married couple left (they had to drive back to the 'burbs, after all) and it was just the single girls. We walked to the bar to order more beers (a Hoegaarden each) and my friend struck up a conversation with a table of four cute guys. The cutest one (in my opinion) was talking to me and he told me he thinks we've met before. I'll fall for it - why not? No, but really, we had met before. He figured it out. I never would have recognized him. At my last job (more than 2 years ago now) we hosted a bunch of interns from Italy. This guy had been friends with one of my interns, and he and I were briefly introduced one night at a cowboy bar in Elk Grove. His name was familiar to me and I remembered that the girl had been really crazy about him - but she had to go back to Italy. He told me he had visited her in Italy a couple years ago when he was on vacation there. He is from Lodi, where my mom grew up and where my grandfather and some family members still live. He works for the state, a few blocks from where I work. He mentioned that he graduated from high school in 1999 and asked me when I graduated. I refused to answer and just told him I graduated in the '90s. It's true, and he doesn't need to know that I'm seven years older than him (making him 28). He lived in Germany for a year and a half and speaks German. And he's hot - did I mention that already? He left *today* for a trip to Munich, to attend Oktoberfest! Then he's going to France for two weeks to travel around. He asked for my number...he even joked that he might not remember me after three weeks in Europe. No doubt. If I were him, I'd totally forget about some chick at a bar in Sacramento after hooking up with European girls for weeks! So I figured I definitely wouldn't hear from him. Of course I'd be thrilled to hear from him when he gets back - but the chances of that are slim, very slim.

This guy had to leave early (actually it was about 12:30 am) because his ride was taking off. I was bummed that he left...wished I'd have asked him to stay. But I wasn't lonely for long, because I was flirting with one of his buddies, who, as it turned out, doesn't really know him anyway and was just in town for the weekend from LA. I felt that the attraction was mutual and it wasn't long before I took him out on the patio and we starting making out. The patio faces the street and there were tons of people out there and walking by. Classy! What can I say, it was the alcohol.

My friend was stuck inside talking to his friend and she told us the guy was "a douche." So the three of us took off and we got her a cab - she was in no shape to drive and luckily she wasn't going to fight us. Then the random guy and I got a taxi and headed to my place. He came inside - I gave him a house tour and got us some water. I told him he could stay...he said he'd just stay for a couple of hours. Oh kay. Whatever - I told him he could stay for the whole night. We went to my room...he got in my bed and I went to go take out my contacts. I don't remember brushing my teeth or really anything, but I know I had my glasses on. I thought he was asleep, but when I laid down he started cuddling with me immediately. Kinda nice. Haven't had a cute guy in my bed for a while. Oh - about this guy - he is 30 and lives in Westwood and has his own marketing firm. He was staying with his grandfather in Davis, and he grew up in Tiburon. He wasn't very tall, maybe slightly taller than me. I thought he was skinny but he was pretty muscular. I'll spare the details of what occurred between us but I'll say that clothing remained on and he was respectful. We fell asleep. He got up at some point, pull on his jeans, and left. It was still dark, I don't know what time it was. I'm so glad he left, though, because I was in a world of pain and hurt when I woke up. Didn't want anyone to be witness to that. Seriously bad hangover. I don't remember the last time I felt that shitty. It definitely ranked in the top 20 of all-time shitty hangovers, though. I didn't re-join the world until after 2 p.m. on Saturday. Finally started feeling "normal" by 6 p.m. I stayed in to complete my recovery.

This afternoon (Monday) at work I checked my cell phone (I keep it on silent during the day out of consideration for my office mate - wouldn't it be nice if she did the same??) and I had a text message from a (209) area code - Lodi! Yes, it was from hot guy #1. He wrote me that he was about to board his flight to Munich, and wasn't I jealous? (yes!!) Hm. Maybe I will hear from him when he gets back. I won't count on it, but I'll be hopeful.

Younger Man

I went on a date last night with a cute guy I met at my friend Cindy's birthday party a few weeks ago. I don't think he knows how old I am - or if he does, he doesn't care. Who knows. I think he is 26. He graduated from law school last year and now works as an attorney for a state agency. He lives close by, so that's convenient. He actually works in a building across the street from where I work. He came over here and we walked to Tower Cafe. It was a hot evening, still in the 80s at 9 p.m. There is a beautiful outdoor patio at the cafe and we sat there drinking wine. One bottle was probably enough, but I think we were both enjoying the conversation so we ordered another. I hope I wasn't slurring! We left at around 11:30 and headed back to my place. He hung out here for about 15 minutes before leaving. There was some kissing...very nice. I'd be happy to hang out with him again, but we'll see. I'm leaving it up to him to contact me if he wants to go out again.

Switzerland

I am very excited that I have a job interview this week with an organization in Switzerland! The interview will take place via Skype...no trip to Geneva :(

Would I move to Geneva if I got this job? YES!! Absolutely. You can't pass up amazing opportunities like that.

Foreign Service Application Process

On June 11, I took the Foreign Service Officer Test. This is the first step for those who are interested in a career with the U.S. Department of State as a professional diplomat. The hiring process is extremely competitive - only about 10-12% of those who take the test end up with a job offer. I've always been interested in a diplomatic career, but life just happens and takes you in different directions. You can't plan it. But now I'm at a point where I feel that all of my cumulative career experience has possibly prepared me well for a career in the Foreign Service. Since I'm exploring a career change anyway, I figured I'd sign up for the exam. It doesn't cost anything, so what the hell.

Some say that you can't effectively study for the test. I studied anyway. I checked out a great book called The Dictionary of Cultural Literacy from the library. I had a study guide and I practiced writing timed essays. There are four sections to the test: job knowledge, bio, English expression, and essay. I was really concerned about job knowledge and the essay. I worried about what the essay prompt would be, so I was trying to brush up on all sorts of current events, domestic and international. After a while I relaxed about it because I realized there's no way I could prepare for it (and I was right!).

On the day of the test, I was feeling OK. When I arrived at the testing site, I started getting nervous. The test is taken on a computer and it's multiple choice (except for the essay, of course). The job knowledge section was first. I thought - for sure I'm not going to pass, based on that section. I found it extremely difficult. The bio section was OK, it's hard to tell how they score that, becanuse you're just answering questions about your own experiences. The English section was unbelievably easy. I would be surprised if I missed more than 2 or 3 questions. The essay prompt was something general enough that I felt comfortable typing up a decent answer. You have to get 6/12 points to pass the essay and I was pretty sure I accomplished that.

I left feeling rather defeated and quite disappointed. However, I got an e-mail about 3 weeks later informing me, much to my surprise, that I had passed! Shocking. I was pretty excited but knew there were more hurdles to overcome. I believe 45-50% of people taking the written exam pass. Next, we were instructed to submit 5 short essay answers discussing our leadership, management, communication, etc. skills. We have three weeks to submit them. I've been spending quite a bit of time on my answers. It's been very frustrating to write these stories in such limited space, only about 200 words. However, I feel I've done my best and I think I have some fairly good essays. I'll submit them online tomorrow.

Then it's back to waiting. I will find out by October if I am invited to move on to the next step, which is a daylong oral assessment. I can't believe it takes up to 3 months for the examiners to make this decision. In the meantime, I'm going to pursue other foreign service opportunities, but with different agencies. The US Dept of Commerce and the US Agency for International Development both have foreign service officers. The hiring process is still competitive, but doesn't seem quite as grueling. I feel like I'm fairly well-qualified for positions at any of these agencies, but there are thousands of people applying for a limited number of openings. From what I know, the State Dept will be hiring many more foreign service officers than in past years, so it seems like it's a great time to be applying. The US government is investing in diplomacy, which I think is a wonderful idea!

Distractions

Lately I haven't been making any effort as far as dating is concerned. I feel like there are other, much more important things to focus on - like employment! The economic situation is really stressful, and it's compounded by working where I work, because the reality of the state's horrible budget deficit is in my face all the time. I am often reminded to be grateful, however, that I still have my job and I'm not subject to the furlough order. Most state employees are furloughed for three Fridays every month now. When I'm biking to work on those days, I feel really sad for my fellow government employees who have to deal with a 14% salary reduction. If I had to do that, it would be very difficult.

Given the dour economic outlook, coupled with the political realities in my office, it is definitely time to move on and find a new job. It's disappointing, because I thought I would be in this job for a while longer, but honestly it's not what I thought it was, and I'll probably be happier doing something else. However, quitting is not an option! Not when I have major financial responsibilities. I completely adore my house, but lately I've been wondering what I was thinking buying a house!! It's such a huge financial commitment. At least the value has held, so if I did have to sell, it would be an option. I'd like to keep it. Realistically, if I want to continue my career in international affairs, I'm going to have to move away, either overseas or to Washington, DC. I don't want to move away from my friends and family and this cute house, but if I want to pursue what I'm passionate about, I can't stay in Sacramento. I'd also like to live in a larger, more vibrant city. I can always come home and visit.

I also feel as though since I'm not in a relationship, I can move away, I can pursue an international career. It's all about me - that's a good thing for me right now. I would be open to meeting someone in the future, preferably someone who understands and shares my interest in travel, living abroad, and having adventures.

While I'm pursuing career opportunities elsewhere, I would really prefer not to meet anyone because that would just be a distraction and make things more difficult! Given my track record, however, it's probably not something I'll have to worry about.

Confessions of a Slacker

I confess, I’ve been a total slacker the last couple of weeks at work. I plan on picking up the pace next week, because I’ve learned that NOT working actually makes the day go by much slower, and I feel much more sluggish at the end of the day. Not worth it! Plus I feel a little guilty too. How have I been keeping myself occupied? Well, I spend a lot of time job-searching. I used to feel uncomfortable using state time and computers to search for other jobs, but now I can justify it, because I feel very uncertain about my future employment situation.

Today I took it a step further and actually applied for a job online. It probably took me about half an hour, so I called it my lunch break. I find very few jobs that I actually want to apply for, and I think this is the only job I’ve applied for. It’s something in Sacramento, in the private sector. Not my ideal job, but according to the description, it appeared to be something I’d be at least relatively qualified for. I have no idea what the salary would be. I mostly applied in the hopes I’ll get called for an interview, because I think it will be good practice to do some job interviews. It’s a fairly large corporation, and I imagine they’ll get a lot of applications for this position, so I don’t have high expectations that I’ll be considered. If I really wanted to pursue it, I could probably call a couple of people who could put in a good word. But I am not going to that length, I suppose I’m not that desperate yet.

The other thing I’ve been doing while I’m supposed to be working is studying for this horrendous exam required for those who wish to serve the US as diplomats. I took the exam yesterday afternoon and would be shocked if I actually passed. Most disappointing was that I spent what I consider to be a great deal of time studying and preparing. The questions I thought were difficult were on topics I feel to be rather obscure. I thought to myself during the test, there’s no way I could have studied more and done better. I did my best, and made a number of educated guesses, but my sense is that I missed too many to get a passing score.

The exam has four sections: job knowledge, which is the part that I found most difficult. The questions test your knowledge of US and world history, culture, world geography, the political system, etc. The next section was an opportunity to answer questions about yourself. I found it a little weird, even though I had sample questions and knew what to expect. I just don’t know how they grade this section. The English expression section was very, very easy. I mean, I was almost laughing during it because it was so simple. Anyone who’s a native English speaker would breeze through it. The final portion was a timed essay. We were provided with a prompt – I know that there are different prompts out there, so the topics vary – and you have to write a persuasive essay, arguing your position one way or another, in 30 minutes. I had done some practice essays to see how fast I could write and I felt pretty confident that I could get it done in 30 minutes. I did finish just in time and didn’t have time to review, but I think I did well enough to get a passing score, which is all I need.

My thought about this whole process now that it’s over – first of all, I’m relieved! No more studying, and my life can get back to normal. By that I mean I can stop making excuses to not clean my house. Last weekend, I pretty much sequestered myself to the house and studied all day long, both days. Ugh. I’m happy to regain my free time. I also feel that if it’s meant to be, I will pass, and that if I don’t, that means I don’t have the knowledge, experience, or qualities they are looking for. Fortunately I have a number of other interests that I can and will pursue. All I know for sure is that I have to take action to change my current employment situation because I don’t know how much longer I can bear it.

Cash Log

I was reading a blog this afternoon that features money-saving tips. One entry was particularly interesting, it was the "money diary" of a 25-year-old woman. For a number of days, she wrote about what she spent her money on. Mostly, she felt guilty about spending money she didn't have - she was buying a lot of things with her credit card. I've been thinking a lot lately - worrying a lot, actually - about money and the need to spend less because of what I see as an unstable employment future. I thought I'd give the money diary a shot. Here goes:

Friday, June 12: Today was payday. Normally this would be exciting, because it appears that I have a fairly significant amount of money in my checking account. The reality is that I have to stash about half of my paycheck away so that I can make the mortgage payment on July 1. Also, my student loan payment cleared today. That's another big chunk. I made an online payment for my credit card, and that should clear tomorrow. I did deposit my travel reimbursement check today, which covers the credit card and then some, so that is reassuring.

I mostly spent money on little things today. I bought a couple pieces of candy at See's. I think I spent about $1.45 there. I stopped at Safeway on my way home and spent about $14 on groceries, some stuff for dinner and some fruit. I decided to stay home tonight because I wanted to relax after a stressful week. I did treat myself to a movie at Blockbuster, which set me back $4.88. I bought some candy for $0.88. And I think that's about it.

Lately I've been leaving my wallet at home when I go to work, so I won't be tempted to go buy stuff. This is mostly to prevent me from buying cookies or other unnecessary food during the day - like the See's candy today! It works pretty well and I can kill two birds with one stone - save money and save calories.

Taken

The Boytoy and I made plans to see each other on Thursday night. He called me the night before, at 10:30 pm. I was surprised to hear from him. He wanted to share with me that he'd received a job offer. He was really excited about it. I thought it was kind of adorable that he wanted to call me that night with the info, considering I'd be seeing him the next day. He also wanted to ask me if it'd be OK if he stopped by the office to see me. I said sure, I'd be in all afternoon. He had a lunch meeting in downtown.


He came by the office at about 4:30 pm and hung out in the reception area, chatting with my work friend and me for about 15 minutes. He got ready to leave and I wanted to talk with him about our plans for later, but couldn't do so there. He said he was going to get a beer with some people we used to work with. I knew he had a b-ball game at 7:30 (he asked me to come watch) but I didn't know if he was meeting me before and/or after the game. I was somewhat irritated because I really need to have my time planned and scheduled. What can I say, I'm a busy girl! If we weren't going to hang out after work, then I would have time to get my nails done. We exchanged a couple of text messages and I told him I wouldn't have time to go to his game, but I confirmed he was coming to my place after. He told me he'd like to watch a move and I said I'd rent one. I went to Safeway after my nail appointment and got a movie (Taken) and I bought a frozen pizza for him. He didn't come over until a little after 9:00 pm. I was relaxing, watching the season finale of Grey's Anatomy. He took a shower and I cooked his pizza. I started the movie. We watched about 3/4 of the movie before I leaned over and gave him a kiss. The kiss kept going and I suggested we pause the movie. He didn't protest.

We went upstairs - no need to share details, but I would like to say that I was very impressed and I had a great time. He was still in my bed when I left for work. I told him he could hang out and that the front door was locked, so he could leave whenever. He still isn't allowed to drive. I didn't bother asking how he was going to get home, I figured he had a friend or family member to call for a ride. He had plans to play golf at 3 p.m. He's got it pretty good for an unemployed guy.

I am fairly certain that we'll see each other again, I don't see why not. So far, everything's going according to my plan (of what I want, that is).

What's a Colorado Dingo, Anyway?

My most recent ex-boyfriend is on Match.com. I know this because one of my friends informed me that her friend saw a photo of her on some guy's profile on Match. She asked me to guess whose profile it could possibly be - she told me the screen name was "coloradodingo". I had no idea. Well, it turns out to be Rob. And who else is in the photo with Rob and my friend? ME. I was first a bit amused, then shocked, then downright mad that he would use images of me and my friends in his efforts to meet ladies online. That is just wrong. My friend said maybe he was trying to make it seem like he has friends (he doesn't). I was definitely prepared to contact him and politely ask him to please remove any and all images of me and my friends from his online dating page. Luckily I didn't have to - when I got home and viewed his page, those photos weren't there. Maybe he thought about it and decided it wasn't such a good idea after all.

So of course I checked out his profile. He had 4 photos posted - two of which were taken by me in Lake Tahoe last September. The other two were of him and his Harley. Nice. It's kind of funny because I had remarked to myself and others that I didn't think Rob would have much success with online dating, if he were to try it, because the guy is just not photogenic. I mean, he's very attractive in person, but it was impossible to get a good photo of him. I have one - in three-plus months of dating - that turned out really nicely. My sense of this was proven true in the four pics he chose - they don't do him justice. He's also wearing shades in every photo.

Then there's his written profile. I knew he wasn't a gifted writer from the e-mails we'd exchanged. But the poor grammar and bad sentence structure in his profile made me cringe. OK, so I'm a grammar Nazi and this kind of stuff is important to me. But still. The content was also unimpressive. Essentially, if I hadn't known the guy and was just reading his profile, perusing through guys I might be interested in meeting, I'd never in a million years want to contact him based on his Match profile. Kinda sad, considering the huge amount of time I spent with the guy. Oh well. I had fun and now I've (we've) moved on.

I do think it's a little funny, though, that now I'm "spending time" with the Boytoy, who Rob met several times. Back then, I never would have thought that would happen. Naturally I fantasized about it...often...but not when I was with Rob (honest!).

Moral of the story - it's not OK to post photos of your ex (and/or their friends) on your online dating page. Oh, and guys? Maybe have someone read your written profile to check for errors before you post it.

Food I Eat

Thursday, May 7, 2009
1. chocolate croissant from La Bou (evil but delicious)
2. English breakfast tea (good)
3. pink grapefruit (good but sugary)
4. breaded chicken breast (not great b/c of breading)
5. rice pilaf (neutral)
6. carrots (good)
7. broccoli (good)
8. bread roll w/butter (I eat way too many carbs)
9. iced tea (fine)
10. carrot cake (evil, needless to say)
11. half cup of coffee with cream
12. Fiber One bar (good)
13. black bean Morningstar Farms brand veggie burger (good)
14. english muffin (bun for burger) - fine
15. romaine salad with broccoli, cannelini beans, cucumber, carrots and olive oil/balsamic vinegar for dressing (good)
16. mint chip ice cream (evil)

I think a small village in Africa could survive for a week on the food I ate in one day! Yikes. Must do better tomorrow.

The Overnight Guest

Last Thursday I met some friends for a glass of wine after work and got home at about 9:30 p.m. I had a missed call from the Boytoy so I gave him a buzz. He'd had a court date that morning and wanted to tell me what happened. We chatted briefly and then he asked me if he could come over and crash on my couch because he had a meeting in downtown the next morning. I was a bit surprised but said sure! Come on over. Since he lives a half hour away, I figured I had plenty of time to tidy up the house and change out of my work suit. But no, the doorbell rang 5 minutes later! Sure enough, there he was - looking a bit sheepish. He said "I know this seems creepy - sorry." He'd been playing basketball only a few minutes away from my house and had his friend drop me off. He said he had been planning to stay at his friend's, but that his friend's girlfriend was mourning a death in the family and it was bad timing. Hmmm.

He took a shower - he had just played b-ball, after all. In that time, I went into my room and threw a bunch of crap into the closet and changed out of my work clothes. I went downstairs to relax on the couch. He joined me when he finished his shower. We talked for a while and things were getting a little flirtatious. Eventually we went upstairs to my room. He tried to sleep on the couch but I wouldn't allow it. My bed is so much more comfortable! I was just being a good hostess. Anyway...we hung out in my room for a while, and then he was falling asleep and it turns out he snores SO loudly! I couldn't handle it so I grabbed a pillow and headed downstairs. I'm not sure I've ever slept on my own couch. It wasn't that comfy, but I am sure I got more sleep than I would have if I'd stayed in my room.

In the morning I snuck into my room, and into my bed. He was cuddly, it was cute. I got ready for work and he got dressed. We left the house together and took light rail into downtown. How romantic...oh yeah. He walked me into my office building and gave me a hug goodbye.

Moral of the story? I love being single...having a hot 25 year old guy come over and spend the night in the middle of the week, totally unexpectedly. Even if it meant I couldn't sleep in my own bed. Good enough that I knew there was a gorgeous naked guy in my bed. Life is good.

Oh - he somehow knows I have a blog and he was asking me if I was going to write about him. I assured him that I'd change his name and that no, he could NOT have the URL :)

Number 100

When I was much younger, my friend and I wrote lists of the guys we'd kissed. Over the years, our lists both grew, but I could never hope to catch up with her. Until she met The One at age 24 and her list stopped. Yes! Victory was mine. In a surprising show of continuity, I've actually kept the list going. It's kind of fun to look back and see, for example, that I kissed 14 guys in 1993 (I'm estimating). Naturally, my numbers dwindled in the post-college years. There have been some long, long dry spells over the years, believe me. Sometimes, when I write down a new name, I sort of wonder "could this be the last guy on my list?"

I'm somewhat proud to announce that I broke the 3-digit barrier on Sunday night. I had plans with the Boytoy to hang out in his neck of the woods. I headed down to the Delta and arrived at his house (after getting lost) a little after 4 p.m. I brought my bike with me. It was super hot (for mid-April). He was nowhere to be found. I was somewhat dismayed that his sister was home, I was hoping to spend some alone time with him. But whatever. She said he was putting away the lawnmower. He came back and we got ready to head out on our bikes and meet up with his friends on the river. His friend has a pretty sweet boat and there were 6 or 7 people on the boat. I had never met any of them. One of the guys, who BT had also never met, asked me if we were engaged. Yikes! I laughed and said, no, we're friends. Funny.

We cruised around on the river for a while (a while too long for my taste) and BT showed off his wakeboarding skills (not bad, but a little shaky). He has a tattoo of his last name written in cursive across his left breast. His friends teased him...I'm sure he gets that a lot. We finally got off the boat at around 8 pm and we dropped off a couple of his friends because one of them had borrowed his truck. Then we stopped by to pick up our bikes. We went back to his house and started dinner. He barbecued a striped bass, that he had caught (just for me!) the day before. He also grilled asparagus and some potatoes. He opened a bottle of Zin (my favorite - and his, as well) and had classic rock playing through the satellite system. We finally sat down to eat at about 9:30 pm. Fabulous meal, good conversation. What more could I want? Oh - just to make out with the young hottie, that's all.

It was almost midnight (where did the time go??) and I said I should head out. I put my stuff together and he walked me outside. He got my bike from his truck and disassembled it and put it in the backseat of my car. It was gorgeous outside. It's completely dark and really, really quiet. The only sounds were crickets and frogs, and I could see tons of stars. His animals were hanging around - 3 dogs and 2 cats. One of the dogs, a Great Dane, was trying to chase one of the cats and that wasn't going over too well. BT had to discipline the dog and try to get another dog to quit barking. Comedy.

He gave me a hug goodbye and thanked me for coming over. I was a little disappointed - just a hug? Oh well. At least that was a sign that he only thought of me as a friend. No prob. But we kept talking, and we were both leaning against my car, next to each other. I moved over just a tad and was kind of touching his arm area with mine. Then he moved closed to me, and while we were talking, put his arm around me. He was sort of rubbing my side - nice. I hugged him again, and sort of lingered in the hug. He is pretty tall, so I had to make an effort to have my face anywhere near his. I pretty much gave him the opportunity to kiss me, which he did - thank goodness. I was standing as high on my tippy-toes as possible in order to keep kissing him - I was afraid I was going to lose my balance and fall over! The kissing was very nice - soft and sensual. Oh my. Serious chemistry. Uh oh. This continued for a little while - I dunno, a minute or two? Hard to estimate. Then I left...he said something like he would talk to me or see me soon. God I hope so. I had a huge smile on my face as I was driving home - totally giddy.

We e-mailed on Monday and I thanked him for dinner. I said I had a great time, and told him I would return the favor. He wrote back and said "glad I wasn't the only one" with regard to having a great time. I took that as positive. He called me this afternoon, I was at work and my phone was on mute. He left a message. I was ridiculously excited that he called. In his message, he said "hey pretty lady...". How cute. Of course, to him I am a lady. A "ma'am". Oh no! When we were eating dinner he asked me how old I was. He never knew...good thing he doesn't seem to mind.

I called him back tonight and we talked for about half an hour. Good stuff. No future plans were made, but I'm not worried about it. It'll happen. As for number 101? Yeah, that'll happen too.

Picnic

I talked to the Boytoy today to confirm we are on for Sunday - our bike ride and dinner. He wanted me to come over in the morning, since it's going to be "hot" - 85 degrees, please. That is mild for Sacramento. I told him I had a bridal shower luncheon and could be there at 3:30 pm at the earliest. He said he was planning a picnic. A picnic! How adorable. I said that he promised to make me dinner and I was holding him to it. I also asked him to let me know if he thought he might be in jail over the weekend, seeing as how last time we had dinner plans, he was in the joint. He was 50% certain that he would not be behind bars on Sunday. Good enough. Oh my gosh. I have NEVER fantasized about a guy the way I do about him. But I don't want a "relationship" with him...just meaningless physical activity. I told him we could still have a picnic for dinner, and he said, oh yeah, we can eat outside. I said eating outside is the same thing as a picnic. I'm right now picturing us sitting on a blanket in his backyard, surrounded by an orchard and looking at tons of stars above. And then spontaneously making out. Mmmm...

I went to dinner tonight with a bunch of old people from the conference I'm attending. I kind of regretted it but then the bill was taken care of so it worked out for the best. Lots of wine and I ordered clam chowder (we were at a touristy restaurant on Fisherman's Wharf here in Monterey) that was way too fattening, all I could taste was full-fat cream and butter - ugh. The Grgich Hills Zin was nice. Zin is my favorite wine. I told a random story about a nudist resort and I inadvertently practically yelled out "NUDIST RESORT" so everyone at the table could hear me. Oops. Apparently half the restaurant heard me too. The two pre-teen boys at the table next to ours were all ears. It was a total faux pas. Oh well, kids have to learn this stuff sometime. Good times for the parents. "Daddy, what's a NUDIST RESORT?"

I went for a walk this morning in a beautiful park near my hotel. Much to my horror, the park was full of homeless, scary looking men who looked like they wanted to rape and strangle me and leave me for dead in the wooded ravine below. Yikes. Fortunately I survived. I am getting used to living in this hotel. I love traveling for work, despite the scary morning hike. I do kind of miss Sebastian, though.

Just Friends

My nearly 44-year-old ex-boyfriend is dating a 26-year-old. I don't know why this bothers me, but it kind of does. What do they talk about? I mean, he was 9 years older than me to begin with. It's like he gets older but the women stay the same age. So unfair. One consolation is that he's dying his hair. I'm a little embarrassed for him. He looked fine last time I saw him, with salt and pepper in his dark brown (receding) hair. Much to my surprise, the gray is gone and has been replaced with an obvious looking reddish-brown dye. Not a good look.

So I go down to L.A. to stay with him for a weekend (just as friends...those feelings have long since disappeared) and he sends me a text when I was out shopping to let me know it's going to be a "full house" since "the girlfriend" is spending the night. Wha?? He never mentioned this girlfriend before. I really think he should have brought this up in conversation at some point! I felt really awkward about the whole thing. I was at the apartment when they walked in. She's a petite Filipino woman with long hair and huge fake boobs. NICE. I thought she looked like she was in her late 30s.

The next morning (I left the house to take a bike ride before she woke up) I was chatting with Greg and he says "so you met my 26-year-old plaything" kind of laughing. I said, "Oh, I thought she was at least 36!" Seriously. Apparently they are not serious and they've only been going out for a couple of months. Still, I think he should have mentioned her before instead of just springing it on me. Oh well.

I have a date with a younger man this weekend, so there! At least, I think it's a date. We're going for a bike ride and then he's cooking me dinner. But he has referred to me as 'just"his friend, so who knows. In my experience, guys don't invite girls over for dinner unless they have some sort of romantic interest. I've been wrong before (oh so many times) but we shall see.

Date with a Felon?

I have an update regarding the guy who stood me up because he was in jail the night of our date. http://adventuresinthe916.blogspot.com/2009/02/stood-up.html

I saw him last Friday. Our mutual friend was having a party at a club, so we made plans to go together. Oh, he isn't allowed to drive because of the DUI charges, right? His sister dropped him off in Sacramento. He is still unemployed, too, so he had plenty of time to hang out on Friday afternoon. He brought his bike with him. He rode his bike over to my house (as I'm writing this, I feel like I'm a teenager talking about a high school date!) at about 7:30 pm. I had just finished getting ready. I was wearing my platinum blond wig. He liked :) We hung out and I ironed his new shirt. I actually kind of like ironing, so I offered. He took a shower and I made us dinner. We had a couple of beers, and watched FNL (Friday Night Lights). We left for the club a little after 10 pm. We were the first ones there. Oh - he was wearing a navy blue pinstripe suit with a vest, with a light blue shirt and a pink paisley tie. And white shoes. I don't understand the shoes, but oh well. He looked hot as usual, despite his lack of fashion sense.

The club was not terribly interesting, just a typical lounge-club playing music I don't know, filled with people 10-15 years younger than me. The girls all seemed to be wearing these terribly ill-fitting and unflattering dresses that are made of cotton and are short, ending right under the ass and emphasizing the gluteus area. Not a good look for about 95% of women. A lot of guys had mohawks. ??? We had a reserved VIP booth with bottle service. Oooh. I decided I was ready to go home at around 1 pm. I was going to leave him there because I had no idea where he was and figured he was having fun and I didn't want to force him to leave. He could have taken a cab to my house.

I was leaving and he and my other friends yelled my name from the smoking patio, where they were apparently hanging out (not smoking, though). They tried to get me to stay but I insisted I was ready to leave. I was walking to my car and he chased after me and asked if he could come with me. He asked if I was going to leave without him...aw.

Back at home - I was getting ready for bed, in the bathroom brushing my teeth. I walked into the hallway and much to my shock, he was standing there, leaning against the wall holding his toothbrush, wearing only a pair of plaid flannel boxers. OH MY. He is freaking hot. Almost took my breath away.

Anyway - he slept in my roommate's bed. She was away for the weekend. I am pretty sure he would have welcomed an invitation to stay in my room.

We walked to breakfast in the morning. He picked up the check - pretty nice for a guy who doesn't have a job! Walking back, we ran into my friend who lives nearby and was walking with her dogs. I knew what she was thinking...and wondering. I saw her later and answered her question, saying NO, nothing happened!

I drove him (and his bike) home. It was a really nice and scenic drive along the river road south of town. He directed me on a bit of a scenic drive when we got to the Delta, and then we went to his house, where he lives with his sister. I hung out there for a while and then took off to go back home. It was a nice morning, I enjoyed hanging out with him. I have to admit it was nice to have a hot guy hanging out around my house again.

Today he sent me an e-mail inviting me over to his house for dinner sometime, telling me he "caught me a delicious bass". Hilarious - I love that line from Napoleon Dynamite. He also attached a photo of the fish! How could I say no??

20 Hours

Friday, Feb. 20 was a long, long day. I woke up at 6:00 a.m. and took the 7:40 train to San Francisco. I was pretty excited about a number of things I had planned for the day. My original reason for traveling to SF was to attend the SF Chamber of Commerce's annual luncheon. I didn't have to be there until around 11:30 a.m. I arrived and unfortunately, my name wasn't on the list. I had to wait for a while until the event coordinator found a seat for me. I lucked out, though, and was seated at one of the sponsors' tables, pretty close to the stage. The company is run by a group of young guys who have a lot of experience with start-ups. They are involved in blogging (clean tech, sustainability issues) and the solar industry. I was quite fascinated by what they're doing and we talked about ways to connect my boss to their work, and have him write for their blog, etc. I was really inspired and happy to have had the chance to meet them. I was talking to one of the co-founders and asking him about his previous experience. He explained that this was his sixth start-up and that he just sold his last company, a search engine, for $100 million. Amazing - and totally beyond my comprehension. Wow.

I left the lunch and had several hours before my next appointment. I walked about a block away to a park called Yerba Buena Gardens. It's an urban park across the street from the SF MOCA - Museum of Contemporary Art - and next to the Metreon, which is a shopping center with an IMAX theater inside. It was sunny with some clouds and pretty warm, probably in the mid-60s. I got some frozen yogurt and found a bench. I proceeded to make a bunch of phone calls and check my work e-mail to catch up on some tasks. I called one of my good friends from college who lives in So Cal with her husband and three young children and was happy to reach her. She was driving to her mom's house because OK! magazine called her to get dirt on Nadya S., the woman who had the octuplets. My friend went to high school with Nadya. She was going to look for old photos at her mom's house. She wasn't sure if she was going to give a statement to the magazine or not. Anyway - we talked a little bit about what was going on with the state budget and she asked me what was going to happen with my job, and if my office's budget was safe. I assured her that we weren't going to be affected, and that our staff wasn't impacted by the furlough.

Shortly after getting off the phone with her, I called my co-worker in Sacramento and she told me that the Governor was holding a press conference at 2 p.m. where he was going to talk about making budget cuts to our office! I was really surprised. He announced that he was cutting our budget by 62%, and cutting the budgets of the other constitutionals by 10%. Unbelieveable. I was shocked - still am. It's a political ploy, meant to punish my boss for some negative things he said about the budget that was passed. Nothing he said was untrue, but he should have known that retaliation happens. It's incredibly upsetting. It was the main headline on the front page of the paper, and the story was in virtually every paper in the state. The cuts go into effect when the new fiscal year begins, on July 1. Apparently we'll find out soon, maybe next week, who stays and who goes. Needless to say, the office will be trimmed back to a bare bones operation. I have no idea where I stand. I'd like to think I'll be one of the chosen few, but even if I am, I'm not sure if I'll want to stay. I have a lot of thoughts on this that I won't share here, but they're not happy thoughts.

With all of this in my head, I leave at about 4:30 p.m. on the BART train to Berkeley, where I met up with a girl who participated in the Germany fellowship program I did a few years ago. She is a recent alum of the program, having just returned last June. I really enjoyed meeting her and hearing about her experiences. She works in the solar industry in the Bay Area and her year in Germany helped her make the transition into that industry. We met at a cool brewpub called Jupiter on Shattuck Street in downtown Berkeley. They have a line of German beers including Hefeweizen and Koelsch, and they have a nice outdoor Biergarten. We talked about organizing an event for Nor Cal alumni of the program.

I headed back to SF via BART and hoped to arrive a little sooner so that I could make it to another happy hour. I met a guy last summer at a work event and I have a huge crush on him. He sent me an e-mail the night before inviting me to a happy hour for people who work in the solar industry. I was super excited and really wanted to go, but as it turned out I didn't have time. I was getting picked up for a date at 7:30 and had to get back to the Marriott so I could pick up my stuff and get ready. This was the guy I met two weeks prior at my cousin's birthday party.

I arrived at the Marriott at about 7:10. I changed into jeans and freshened up my hair and make-up. I waited outside and he showed up a little late, probably around 7:40. We went to his apartment and I left my stuff at his place. He changed his clothes. I don't want to sound like a snob (I admit, sometimes I am...) but I wasn't crazy about his apartment. He's 35 and as far as I know, a pretty successful guy, but his place screamed college or recent college grad. He has a nice flat-screen TV but otherwise, no nice furniture. Pretty sparsely decorated. It was fairly clean. It was quite small. Small kitchen, one bedroom, small living area and a bathroom. I guess it's fine for one person but it reminded me of what people have to sacrifice for living in a city like SF. Space! Plus his garage is about a 5 minute walk down a hill from his apartment. I thought to myself, this isn't a place I would like to spend a lot of time in - which would be the case if I was dating him and seeing him regularly.

We found a cab fairly quickly and went to a Peruvian restaurant in SOMA. It was quite nice. Very cozy and romantic, I suppose. He ordered ceviche, which we shared, and I ordered something from the tapas menu that was pretty good. We shared a bottle of wine. I had a good time, we had a good conversation, but I realized pretty quickly that I wasn't feeling any chemistry. I wanted to - he is an attractive guy, smart, we seem to have a lot in common - and he seems to be quite fond of me. He paid for dinner. We walked a few blocks to a bar but decided to get a cab and head to a place closer to where he lives. We went to a bar and he ordered a drink and I got a water. I was getting pretty tired, it was about 1 a.m. We walked back to his apartment, where I was planning on sleeping. We sat on the couch and chatted for a while. At this point I knew for sure that I wasn't feeling it. When he kissed me goodnight, I was absolutely certain. I don't want to say the guy is a bad kisser, but let's say that our styles were not compatible. That's very important to me - kissing is key! I just didn't feel attracted to him whatsoever. It was a little awkward but I had to make the best of it. I knew we were going to go out for breakfast in the morning and decided I'd give it another chance and see how I felt in the morning. Clearly, I wasn't going to sneak out early in the morning. We finally went to sleep after 2 a.m. - a 20 hour long day for me. Oh, I slept on the couch. He lives in a corner apartment in a corner building right on the cable car line. Very loud!

We woke up and got ready and he took me to this secret coffee place called Blue Bottle. I guess it's not a secret, there was a long line, but it's this kind of hidden place in an alley in Hayes Valley. He said it's the best coffee in SF. We got lattes and they were delicious. We ate breakfast (bagels) at a nearby cafe and I was looking at him across the table while we were eating, and I just knew for sure that I didn't feel anything for him. Bummer. I wanted to like him - I like the idea of him! But these things can't be forced. He wanted me to hang out for the day, but I told him I had to head back to Sacramento. I didn't even have a change of clothes, and I wasn't wearing comfortable shoes. Plus he knew about the issues with my job and that I was pretty worried about it. He drove me to the Amtrak station in Emeryville and the next train wasn't for another hour, so we went to the mall and walked around and looked in some shops. He told me he wanted to see me again...but that he is away for the next two weekends. That's not a bad thing. He gave me a hug and kissed me on the cheek. I really didn't want to kiss him again, so that was a relief.

I got a text from him when I was on the train. It said he had a great time with me and he'd love to see me again. I haven't responded - I don't think it's gonna happen. Obviously I'll contact him again, and I wouldn't mind getting together with him for dinner or a drink sometime on a friendly basis, but not on a date.

Back to the drawing board - but really, I have bigger things to worry about these days than dating, so it's not that big of a deal.

Encouraging News

I was in SF last Friday on the occasion of my cousin's birthday. She invited a bunch of people to meet up at a bar called Mars Bar on Brannan Street. My friend K. met me and we went to dinner at Paragon. I learned that my cousin has a lot of friends - a lot of guy friends. She introduced me to one who I thought was pretty cute and apparently he returned the sentiment. We ended up hanging out for the rest of the night - my friend left early. He got my number and we established that we were going to see each other again in two weeks. Yay! I like him. He is cute, nice, respectful, intelligent, etc. At least he seems to be...

He called me on Sunday night and I finally talked to him on Tuesday after a couple days of phone tag. We made plans to meet up on Friday night, Feb. 20 in SF. I will be there for work already.

Then, my friend who lives in DC is trying to introduce me to some other guy in SF who is the best friend of her friend's husband. I think he is supposed to call me. I don't know anything about him or what he looks like, but I'm open to meeting him. Why not.

Stood Up

I encouraged (but did not start) a flirtation with a guy who I probably shouldn't be flirting with, but I admit I welcomed the attention, since my relationship with R. had recently ended. We agreed on an evening for him to come over and cook me dinner. We are friends, but he is super hot and I can't stop myself from fantasizing about him. I'm not sure what I thought would have happened when he came over, but I would have welcomed a variety of scenarios, including him having too much to drink and being forced to spend the night at my place. Where the couch would be way too short for him, seeing as how he's about 6 foot 5. And 24 (years old, that is). Anyway - as our date approached, I hadn't heard from him so was somewhat concerned. I figured he had changed his mind, but that it was unlike him to not even let me know or come up with some kind of excuse. The evening arrived and I assumed he was flaking, so I made other plans that involved going to the gym and making shrimp tacos for myself. Never heard from him. No Facebook, no e-mail, no text, no call. Hmmm. I waited a couple of days and sent him a note on FB that said something like "it would have been nice to get a call..." but nothing too mean. We were supposed to have dinner on a Wednesday night. I got a voicemail message from him on Saturday morning telling me he was sorry that he couldn't make it on Wednesday night, but that he had been "busy". Then he said that actually, he wasn't busy, he had been in JAIL! WTF? I was laughing. I wasn't sure if he was making it up or not. I waited a couple of days and called him back. He told me that he got pulled over for drunk driving on Sunday (Super Bowl Sunday) and he happened to have four guns in his truck. Apparently the police weren't too pleased about that and they arrested him and threw him in the county jail. He called his sister and thought she could bail him out, but then learned that his bail was set at half a million dollars. Guess not. He stayed in jail almost all week, until his arraignment. So I guess that was a pretty good excuse. He told me that he was telling his cellmate (a word he didn't think he'd use in reference to himself!) that he had dinner plans with a "lady" on Wednesday night that he was going to miss. Unbelievable. I guess this was a sign that it wasn't meant to be! Now the guy can't drive and he lives sort of far away, and I'm certainly not planning to go see him. The next time I see him (if he doesn't get jail time for the felonies he was charged with) will be next month at a mutual friend's birthday party in downtown.

A Day in the Life

I thought today was a fairly typical day, so why not share the mind-numbing details. I woke up at 7 a.m. but was really already awake, because my roommate was getting ready and I could hear her. I took a shower - even washed my hair. I decided to wear my glasses today because I knew I was going to be spending a lot of time staring at the computer monitor at work. Lots of writing and editing to do on a report I'm working on. I wore a cream-colored turtleneck sweater that I bought a couple years ago from Macy's. It's INC brand. With that, I wore a pair of brown slacks that is part of an Anne Klein suit I got on clearance at Ross last year, and a pair of gold flats from Target. Mossimo brand. I packed a lunch - frozen entree, naturally - and headed to the light rail. Got to work around 8:30 and briefly considered going to get a coffee and something fattening to go with it for breakfast, but my co-worker convinced me to eat oatmeal instead. I worked a decent amount today, in between checking my personal e-mail and facebook accounts. I forgot that I had signed up to attend a luncheon seminar that included a free lunch. I went to that with two co-workers and listened to an economist talk about the recession. Nothing new. Had some decent salads, some delicious bread and a cookie. Afterward, I walked a few blocks to the central library because I needed something for my class, but when I got there and tried to open the front door, I realized what I already knew: the library is closed on Mondays. Durr. When I was leaving, I ran into a friend who was on her way to the courthouse. She thinks she'll get selected to serve on a jury. Kind of cool to see her. Went back to work and decided I needed a treat to help get through the afternoon. I went to Chicory, a close-by coffee place I like, and got a non-fat caramel latte. I found some cookies in the fridge at work and ate one of those. Mmm. I got down to business and before I knew it, it was 4:30 pm. I figured, I'd done enough work for one day and spent the rest of the "work day" doing personal business, like planning social engagements for the next two weeks. I felt pretty accomplished by the time I left at about 5:10 pm. Took the light rail, got home and fed the cat. Changed into workout clothes and went to the Y. Stopped at Safeway afterward and bought food for dinner and then some. Came home, turned on the oven, popped in some fish (coconut-crusted tilapia, yummy) and took a quick shower. I changed into some comfy sweats and prepared dinner. I made a spinach salad with carrots to accompany the fish. I watched the second half of a Two and Half Men re-run and then settled in to watch The Bachelor, one of my favorite Guilty Pleasures. My roommate watched too. Nice way to learn about American culture, huh? She's from Japan. During commercials I did stuff around the house, like wash dishes and change my sheets. I'm very productive in 4-minute spurts. On occasional commercial breaks, I maintained my position on the couch and read sections of the Sunday paper that I didn't get to yesterday, such as Parade and the Forum, Business and Travel sections. I also played with the cat, who was seeking attention. The Bachelor ended at 10 and I figured I'd go to bed, but wanted to check my e-mail (yes, I am obsessed). I logged on to the computer, synced my Ipod and then started typing in the blog. Then the phone rang (??) and it was my friend C. calling from her hotel room in SF. I chatted with her for 42 minutes. Now it is 11:36 p.m., about an hour past my usual bedtime. I'm tired...will head upstairs and take out my contacts, brush my teeth and probably forgo my usual few minutes of reading before bed. Good night!

Writing Class

I signed up for a journalism class at the local community college and tonight was the first class. I'm thinking that this may be the best $66 I'll ever spend. First and foremost, the instructor is kind of cute. AND he's not wearing a wedding ring. Hmmm. There do not appear to be any attractive male students, however. The people in the class are really interesting and come from an amazing variety of backgrounds. They are people who I would ordinarily not encounter, and we're all going to get to know each other really well because we are going to be reading each other's article drafts every week. Students range in age from 19 to 60+ and are a mix of ethnicities, including Asian, Latino, white, black and mixed races. Apparently, Sacramento City College is one of the most diverse colleges in the country. Most of the people in the class already have some experience with writing or journalism. It's a class specifically geared toward writing for publication. We're going to learn how to write articles for magazines and get paid for it. Or, at least, that's the goal. I have some ideas already but I'm hoping to get inspired and the class will help us to learn about developing unique story ideas. Tonight we had to interview one of our classmates and give a short introduction about that person. We came up with our own sets of questions. One of the more creative questions was "what's your favorite curse word?" Rather clever. For homework, we have to bring in a magazine that we'd like to write for, and find out what their writing guidelines are. I have homework! For the first time in...I guess 4 years or so, since the last time I took a formal class. That would have been a German class, in Germany.

The Pros of Being Single

Becoming single again after having been in a relationship, I've come to recognize a number of positives:

1) no sharing a bed with a guy who snores = being able to get a full night's sleep every weekend
2) no waking up way early on the weekends because he wakes up early
3) not having to be so concerned about "maintenance", i.e. grooming (very time consuming)
4) definitely no need to worry about the possibility of getting pregnant!
5) no more stressing about whether he's into me or not (clearly, that question has been answered)
6) no worries about vacuuming and lint rolling up all the cat hair before he comes over (allergic)
7) saving gas by not driving to his place in the 'burbs
8) not feeling guilty about fantasies involving a hot 24 year old former co-worker
9) having more free time to spend with people I truly care about
10) I'm sure there's a 10th reason...it'll come to me!

Breaking Up Sucks

One of the worst things about a break up is having to tell all your friends and family members about it. You're essentially forced to repeat a depressing tale over and over again.