20 Hours

Friday, Feb. 20 was a long, long day. I woke up at 6:00 a.m. and took the 7:40 train to San Francisco. I was pretty excited about a number of things I had planned for the day. My original reason for traveling to SF was to attend the SF Chamber of Commerce's annual luncheon. I didn't have to be there until around 11:30 a.m. I arrived and unfortunately, my name wasn't on the list. I had to wait for a while until the event coordinator found a seat for me. I lucked out, though, and was seated at one of the sponsors' tables, pretty close to the stage. The company is run by a group of young guys who have a lot of experience with start-ups. They are involved in blogging (clean tech, sustainability issues) and the solar industry. I was quite fascinated by what they're doing and we talked about ways to connect my boss to their work, and have him write for their blog, etc. I was really inspired and happy to have had the chance to meet them. I was talking to one of the co-founders and asking him about his previous experience. He explained that this was his sixth start-up and that he just sold his last company, a search engine, for $100 million. Amazing - and totally beyond my comprehension. Wow.

I left the lunch and had several hours before my next appointment. I walked about a block away to a park called Yerba Buena Gardens. It's an urban park across the street from the SF MOCA - Museum of Contemporary Art - and next to the Metreon, which is a shopping center with an IMAX theater inside. It was sunny with some clouds and pretty warm, probably in the mid-60s. I got some frozen yogurt and found a bench. I proceeded to make a bunch of phone calls and check my work e-mail to catch up on some tasks. I called one of my good friends from college who lives in So Cal with her husband and three young children and was happy to reach her. She was driving to her mom's house because OK! magazine called her to get dirt on Nadya S., the woman who had the octuplets. My friend went to high school with Nadya. She was going to look for old photos at her mom's house. She wasn't sure if she was going to give a statement to the magazine or not. Anyway - we talked a little bit about what was going on with the state budget and she asked me what was going to happen with my job, and if my office's budget was safe. I assured her that we weren't going to be affected, and that our staff wasn't impacted by the furlough.

Shortly after getting off the phone with her, I called my co-worker in Sacramento and she told me that the Governor was holding a press conference at 2 p.m. where he was going to talk about making budget cuts to our office! I was really surprised. He announced that he was cutting our budget by 62%, and cutting the budgets of the other constitutionals by 10%. Unbelieveable. I was shocked - still am. It's a political ploy, meant to punish my boss for some negative things he said about the budget that was passed. Nothing he said was untrue, but he should have known that retaliation happens. It's incredibly upsetting. It was the main headline on the front page of the paper, and the story was in virtually every paper in the state. The cuts go into effect when the new fiscal year begins, on July 1. Apparently we'll find out soon, maybe next week, who stays and who goes. Needless to say, the office will be trimmed back to a bare bones operation. I have no idea where I stand. I'd like to think I'll be one of the chosen few, but even if I am, I'm not sure if I'll want to stay. I have a lot of thoughts on this that I won't share here, but they're not happy thoughts.

With all of this in my head, I leave at about 4:30 p.m. on the BART train to Berkeley, where I met up with a girl who participated in the Germany fellowship program I did a few years ago. She is a recent alum of the program, having just returned last June. I really enjoyed meeting her and hearing about her experiences. She works in the solar industry in the Bay Area and her year in Germany helped her make the transition into that industry. We met at a cool brewpub called Jupiter on Shattuck Street in downtown Berkeley. They have a line of German beers including Hefeweizen and Koelsch, and they have a nice outdoor Biergarten. We talked about organizing an event for Nor Cal alumni of the program.

I headed back to SF via BART and hoped to arrive a little sooner so that I could make it to another happy hour. I met a guy last summer at a work event and I have a huge crush on him. He sent me an e-mail the night before inviting me to a happy hour for people who work in the solar industry. I was super excited and really wanted to go, but as it turned out I didn't have time. I was getting picked up for a date at 7:30 and had to get back to the Marriott so I could pick up my stuff and get ready. This was the guy I met two weeks prior at my cousin's birthday party.

I arrived at the Marriott at about 7:10. I changed into jeans and freshened up my hair and make-up. I waited outside and he showed up a little late, probably around 7:40. We went to his apartment and I left my stuff at his place. He changed his clothes. I don't want to sound like a snob (I admit, sometimes I am...) but I wasn't crazy about his apartment. He's 35 and as far as I know, a pretty successful guy, but his place screamed college or recent college grad. He has a nice flat-screen TV but otherwise, no nice furniture. Pretty sparsely decorated. It was fairly clean. It was quite small. Small kitchen, one bedroom, small living area and a bathroom. I guess it's fine for one person but it reminded me of what people have to sacrifice for living in a city like SF. Space! Plus his garage is about a 5 minute walk down a hill from his apartment. I thought to myself, this isn't a place I would like to spend a lot of time in - which would be the case if I was dating him and seeing him regularly.

We found a cab fairly quickly and went to a Peruvian restaurant in SOMA. It was quite nice. Very cozy and romantic, I suppose. He ordered ceviche, which we shared, and I ordered something from the tapas menu that was pretty good. We shared a bottle of wine. I had a good time, we had a good conversation, but I realized pretty quickly that I wasn't feeling any chemistry. I wanted to - he is an attractive guy, smart, we seem to have a lot in common - and he seems to be quite fond of me. He paid for dinner. We walked a few blocks to a bar but decided to get a cab and head to a place closer to where he lives. We went to a bar and he ordered a drink and I got a water. I was getting pretty tired, it was about 1 a.m. We walked back to his apartment, where I was planning on sleeping. We sat on the couch and chatted for a while. At this point I knew for sure that I wasn't feeling it. When he kissed me goodnight, I was absolutely certain. I don't want to say the guy is a bad kisser, but let's say that our styles were not compatible. That's very important to me - kissing is key! I just didn't feel attracted to him whatsoever. It was a little awkward but I had to make the best of it. I knew we were going to go out for breakfast in the morning and decided I'd give it another chance and see how I felt in the morning. Clearly, I wasn't going to sneak out early in the morning. We finally went to sleep after 2 a.m. - a 20 hour long day for me. Oh, I slept on the couch. He lives in a corner apartment in a corner building right on the cable car line. Very loud!

We woke up and got ready and he took me to this secret coffee place called Blue Bottle. I guess it's not a secret, there was a long line, but it's this kind of hidden place in an alley in Hayes Valley. He said it's the best coffee in SF. We got lattes and they were delicious. We ate breakfast (bagels) at a nearby cafe and I was looking at him across the table while we were eating, and I just knew for sure that I didn't feel anything for him. Bummer. I wanted to like him - I like the idea of him! But these things can't be forced. He wanted me to hang out for the day, but I told him I had to head back to Sacramento. I didn't even have a change of clothes, and I wasn't wearing comfortable shoes. Plus he knew about the issues with my job and that I was pretty worried about it. He drove me to the Amtrak station in Emeryville and the next train wasn't for another hour, so we went to the mall and walked around and looked in some shops. He told me he wanted to see me again...but that he is away for the next two weekends. That's not a bad thing. He gave me a hug and kissed me on the cheek. I really didn't want to kiss him again, so that was a relief.

I got a text from him when I was on the train. It said he had a great time with me and he'd love to see me again. I haven't responded - I don't think it's gonna happen. Obviously I'll contact him again, and I wouldn't mind getting together with him for dinner or a drink sometime on a friendly basis, but not on a date.

Back to the drawing board - but really, I have bigger things to worry about these days than dating, so it's not that big of a deal.