SF Update

After my DC trip, I went back to work for one day and then went to SF on Friday. I got a ride into the city with a colleague but then had to pretty much spend the day with him. Oh well. I got a free lunch out of it, at least. Mostly, I was looking forward to my date with Derek. We met at Union Square at about 6 p.m., after I finished my meetings and he got off work. It was a beautiful, warm and sunny day. We took a cab to his apartment and he poured us some wine. We took our wine up on the roof of his building, where we sat, surrounded by a 360 degree view of the city. It doesn’t get much better than that! Oh, wait, it did get better when we started kissing. OK, now it doesn’t get much better! As the sun went down and it became colder, we headed inside and continued our wine drinking and thought about going to dinner. We went to Suppenkueche, a German restaurant in Hayes Valley that I had heard about. It was actually really good. Pretty cool on the inside too. We went back to his place and the excellent evening continued. I was just worried that his roommate was going to come home – she was due to return from a week-long trip to Southeast Asia that night. As it turns out, she didn’t come home, she must’ve gone to her boyfriend’s place (my Australian friend). It was nice to stay the night and spend more time with him than just a few hours. Plus, I slept exceptionally well in his bed. Although, the roommate did get home on Saturday morning – with her Aussie in tow. That was a bit embarrassing…I obviously did not want them to know I was there, but a bunch of my stuff was downstairs so it probably became clear to them after a couple of minutes that Derek had a girl over. Fortunately they are both smart individuals and they left after about 10 minutes. We got up and took showers, and he fixed me some breakfast. He had to head to SFO to pick up his cousin who was arriving from the Netherlands. I had him drop me at the Ferry Building so I could catch the bus to Emeryville, and then the train to Sac. I was feeling that things were a little weird that morning and then in the car – lack of conversation and all that. I can’t get into all the details here but I’m afraid the bloom is off the rose at this point – I’m no longer feeling all smitten and crazy about him like I was before. This typically always happens when I get to know a guy better and realize he’s not this perfect creature that I envisioned him to be when I didn't know him. Plus there are some basic chemistry issues. Now it’s at the point where I’m not sure if it would make sense for us to continue to spend time together, because I am pretty sure he’s not someone I want a relationship with. He would probably be a great boyfriend, and he's really incredibly cute (that makes it harder!), but I am not feeling it. I am still waiting to meet a guy who is just crazy about me and makes an effort to call me, talk to me on a regular, if not daily, basis, goes out of his way to figure out how to spend time with me, really seems to want to get to know me, and makes me feel like I’m the only woman in his life (which, hopefully, I would be). Derek really does none of these things and that’s why I’m thinking it’s not worth my time. With that said, it may be worthwhile to keep him in mind when I do travel to SF for work or otherwise, but that's partly up to him as well and I think his feelings probably mirror mine. In the meantime, the older guy I referenced in my last posting has scheduled a lunch date with me for Friday and has sent me numerous e-mails, which indicates that he is thinking of me. There's something to be said for that. Still no word from Mark and of course no communication from Derek since Saturday morning. I also have a blind date on Wednesday, which sounds promising, but I hold no stock in descriptions, based on the last two set-ups I’ve been on.

Conference Hook-Ups

For some reason, the atmosphere at conferences is such that one has a higher chance than usual of hooking up. I'm not sure exactly why this is, I just go with the flow and enjoy it. I traveled to our nation's capital with a group of 400 people from Sacramento to attend a 3-day lobbying and networking conference. We arrived on Saturday night and there was a welcome party at the hotel. Naturally, I was looking around to see if there were any hot guys in attendance. The most gorgeous guy on the trip was an attorney who was, unfortunately for me, wearing a wedding ring. I didn't even bother introducing myself, what was the point? Then I saw another hottie across the room. I had to look twice because I realized I knew him, and had in fact already dated him. I was pretty embarrassed that he was there, because the last communication we had involved me calling him at 10 p.m. on a Saturday night and inviting myself over to his place. He never called me back. That was in January. Soooo I wanted to crawl under a table and hide. I decided to completely ignore him and pretend that he wasn't there. I was thinking, great. How am I going to avoid this guy for the next few days? A while later I was walking around the party and he came up to me and asked if he could buy me a beer. What could I say? Shortly after, we ended up leaving the party and going out to a bar. I took him to Tryst in Adams Morgan, a cool lounge-y casual bar/coffee shop that I used to go to when I lived in DC. Later we went to a college bar across the street, then we headed back to the hotel. He paid for everything (as he should!). I was staying on the 6th floor and his room was on the third. I assumed he would just say goodbye to me in the elevator, but he said he wanted to see my room. Uh huh. I've heard that one before. Well, it worked. I'm so predictable. We made out in my room and he said that he should keep in touch with me. I agreed. He said he hasn't been ready for a "challenge" and that dating is challenging. I was thinking to myself, don't get ahead of yourself there, buddy. We're just making out - enjoy it while it lasts and don't assume I want to be your girlfriend. His beard stubble was scratching up my face, so he said he would shave in the morning and he left. Next evening we went to dinner at the Dupont Grille. Nice place. He paid, bill was over $100. Again, I think I deserve this because he has dissed me so many times in the past. After dinner we went to an Irish pub next door to watch a basketball game. I was totally bored but he was in his element (he even told me this). People at the bar thought we were married. Huh. We were there till after midnight, then we walked back to the hotel. He held my hand the whole time and stopped at one point for no reason to start kissing me. He shaved, nice. It was cute to see him happy - his team won. We walked into the lobby and wouldn't you know it, a group of about 12 guys who were in our delegation were hanging out in the bar. So Mark had to go and schmooze with the boys while I lingered, hoping he would just talk for a few minutes and go upstairs with me. Well, no. I told him to stop by my room later, but he never showed up. I figured he got talked into drinking more with the guys and I was right, based on the text message he sent the next day. Monday night I went to happy hour with some friends and invited Mark to come and meet us. He showed up at the second bar we went to, at about 8:30. We got back to the hotel at about 10 p.m. and again, a big group of Sacramentans were in the lobby, including my boss. Sweet. He enjoys teasing me, so I know I'm going to hear it from him later. Mark was informed by me that he was not going out drinking with the boys that night, and he followed my instructions. We went up to his room and made out. I didn't get as much action as I had hoped, because he was exhausted (and, hung over still, from the night before). I swear, this always happens to me. I have no game, as Greg and Jason always tell me. So true. He told me he would call me the next day. That was Monday night. It's now Thursday night and guess what? I haven't heard from him. This is why I'm "still" single - the question everyone likes to ask - because I meet guys who go out with me three nights in a row and then never call me! That's why. So the following night, Tuesday, was our farewell dinner, a dress-up event. I packed light because I knew I would go shopping while in DC. Sure enough, I bought a bunch of stuff at H&M, including a super-cute black cocktail dress for $15. I was laughing in the dressing room because it was so ridiculously cheap. I went to the dinner and was immediately claimed for the evening by an older man who I had met earlier in the day. Apparently he took quite a liking to me, but I was confused because I assumed he was gay. He is the president of a local medical foundation and seems to be pretty rich, and very connected to the business community. He offered to help me make some connections with people who could provide funding for my organization. Hmm. We sat next to each other at dinner and on the other side of him was one of my board members, who assumed he and I had "hit it off." I was thinking, no way. First of all, he's gay. Second, he's too old. After dinner he asked if I wanted to get a glass of wine. We ended up going to the bar at the hotel along with a lot of the other people in the group. We hung out with another guy who I knew previously, through work. John bought me a glass of wine, and I learned that he was divorced, because this lady came up to him and said that he had a really beautiful wife. He was like, "uh, ex-wife." Oops. He also has two cats and a dog. That's cute. I actually really enjoyed hanging out with him, I felt we could be friends at least. I also learned he is 46, because I saw his drivers' license at the bar and saw he was born in 1960. Pretty old, huh? I was considering whether I would be willing to make out with him or not. There's something about knowing someone is into you that makes them more attractive. Then the really bizarre thing happened. A random older guy came up to the three of us at the bar and asked if either of the guys were my boyfriend or husband. We said "noooo..." and wondered why he was asking this. The guy proceeded to embarrass the hell out of me, and gave me like 10 compliments. He said he had been staring at me all night (um, creepy) and that I had the most beautiful lips, and eyes, and great legs, and that I was just this beautiful creature, and I should be proud and confident. I was in complete shock and didn't know what to say, so I just said thank you. Weird! Luckily when the guy went back to his barstool, I was not in his line of sight. Chris and John were both leaving to go up to their rooms, so I left too. End of evening. John left the next day for Pennsylvania to visit his family. I had an e-mail from him when I went into work this morning that he must have sent that night, late. He said it was a pleasure meeting me and that he looked forward to meeting me for lunch in the coming weeks. To talk about work, of course. I wrote back and said for him to get in touch when he was back in town. He sent me another e-mail tonight saying we should meet for lunch or wine, some evening. Hm. I guess it could be interesting to have a sugar daddy, albeit one who is old and possibly gay. Actually that would be ideal, because I'd get stuff and there'd be no expectations! Ha ha. That is just wrong. In the meantime, I have plans with Derek in SF tomorrow night and I have a blind date on Wednesday. Maybe it's for the best that Mark, the flake, is blowing me off - again. Although, I know how weak I am when it comes to him and if he did contact me, I would hang out with him. Pathetic. Why do we want the ones who don't seem to want us? I had hoped I'd be over guys like him a long time ago. Guess not.

Sedentary Lifestyles

I'm reading a pretty interesting book called "I'm a Stranger Here Too" by Bill Bryson. It's actually a collections of columns he wrote for a British newspaper. He had lived in the UK for 20 years with his family and then returned to the U.S., where he now lives in a small New Hampshire town called Hanover, best known for being home to Dartmouth College. The columns are about his re-adjustment to American life and are pretty funny. One of them hit home last night. He was writing about how an astonishly high percentage of Americans are considered to live sedentary or extremely sedentary lives, and that the average American only walks something like 1.4 miles per week. That's pretty sad. And that some 93% of trips outside the home are made by car. I think I'm more active than most, but this made me think about how my lifestyle lately (the last two weeks, I suppose) has been very sedentary, with the vast majority of my time spent sitting on my butt on my chair at work, in front of the computer (like right now!). I decided to do something about it and walk to work today. I threw on my sweats, packed my backpack with an outfit, shoes and my lunch, and took an urban hike through midtown and downtown to make my way to the office. Along the way, I was able to notice things I've never noticed before. First of all, spring is a beautiful time of year in Sacramento because the trees are all incredibly lush and green. I don't think you truly notice the beauty of the trees in this area unless you slow down and walk around. I walked around the Crocker Art Museum and could check out the sculpture outside and appreciate the beautiful architecture. By the time I arrived at work, I felt great knowing that I had already gotten my exercise for the day. Then the realization hit me: oh yeah, I'm going to have to walk home, too. Four miles in one day: that's apparently how far most Americans will walk in a month!

The Bachelor

I admit I am addicted to "The Bachelor" and enjoy nothing more than a short but sweet 6-season run of this reality show. I tuned in last night to the second episode of "The Bachelor: an Officer and a Gentleman" (I missed the first one) and was extremely disappointed. First of all, I don't think the Bachelor, Lt. Andy Baldwin, is all that. His head looks too big for his body, he looks short, and his teeth are eerily white. He doesn't come across like he should be on TV. I don't know. I'm not into him at all. Next, the women. They all seem really young and stupid. Maybe this was done on purpose - I don't know. It was painful to watch their conversations. Maybe this franchise has burned itself out, because I don't know how many more catty conversations the girls in the house can have about the girl out on the date before viewers (like me) tune out. Another thing, is it just me or are the girls not really that pretty? Sure, they are all attractive and cute girls, but I didn't see one girl who was really beautiful. The banter between Andy and the girls was pretty lame, too. Andy to Tiffany, during their "special quality time (how lame): "So, have you ever dated a doctor before?" Tiffany: "Yes." Andy: "How was it?" Tiffany (giggling): "Um, it was OK." Andy (desperately searching for intelligent conversation but finding none): "Have you ever dated a miliary guy before?" Tiffany: "No." With fascinating real-life dialogue like this, I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm not going to watch the rest of the season - a pure waste of my time. Not like TV in general isn't a waste of time, but this isn't even enjoyable - it's painful!

Blind Date Deux

WHY do I bother wasting my time with blind dates?? I guess I hold onto that little glimmer of hope that the guy might be cute, interesting and smart. Apparently I'm hoping for too much! I met Mike at the Zinfandel Grille on Fair Oaks last night at 7:30 pm. I was early, so took a seat at the bar and ordered a glass of wine. He showed up and my reaction was "that's him??" Just being realistic and honest, he's not my type physically whatsoever. He's a short-ish, stocky Hispanic guy. Not bad looking per se, but not my idea of attractive by any means. He sat down and ordered a cocktail and I made my one glass of wine last for quite a while. Vital stats: he's 36, lives in an apartment in Roseville, and works as a project manager for a commercial real estate developer. He's originally from San Bernardino and went to UC Riverside. He got a girl pregnant when he was 17 and was "forced" to marry her and to join the military. They ended up having another kid before getting divorced. So now he has a 17 and an 18 year old. I didn't care about that, whatever. This guy and I just had absolutely nothing in common and while it was not excruciating to have to sit and talk with him for an hour, I think we both knew immediately that this was not going to lead to a second date. I just wish there were a way to quickly assess a situation and have an "out" right away, without being rude. Any suggestions?

Derek, Part Trois

Hm, lately most of my adventures are taking place in the 415! I had my third date with Derek on Saturday, in SF. I was there hanging out with Carolyn and her friend Jill, who's from Oregon and had never been to SF before. We were shopping at Ambiance on Union St. and Derek came to pick me up. He had been running down on Marina Green - he's training to play on an Aussie rules football team. We went to his place so he could take a shower and change. We then headed off for Pacifica, to go hang out at the beach. It's a town just south of SF, on the coast. It was a nice, sunny day in SF, but unfortunately, cloud cover had come in at Pacifica. We turned around and went back to Ocean Beach. We got some some snacks and snuck a bottle of wine onto the beach. It was a gorgeous day to be out there, watching the kite surfers. Pretty cold and windy, but beautiful. After a while, we decided to go to Golden Gate Park to find Carolyn and Jill. They were laying in the grass outside the Conservatory of Flowers. We drank the rest of the wine and hung out, just having a lazy afternoon. I was sad to leave Derek...I said goodbye to him and headed with Carolyn and Jill to Haight Ashbury (where we couldn't find a parking spot, go figure) and then home to Sacramento. Not sure when I'll see Derek again. He has some friends coming to visit this weekend, so maybe the one after? In the meantime, I have another blind date on Thursday. Let's hope it goes better than the last one! Could anything be worse??