Infidelity

Lately it seems like I keep encountering examples of real-life infidelity everywhere. Has it become so common to be unfaithful that it’s become acceptable, sometimes even expected? What are the incentives for staying loyal? Are people in relationships so insecure that they need to constantly seek outside approval to prove to themselves that they are still desirable? Never having been in a really serious or committed relationship, I’m not personally familiar with the monotony of being with the same person for a number of years. From what people tell me, marriage or other long-term relationships go through cycles and periods of ups and downs. Realizing this and having the patience to wait out the not-so-good times is what makes a lot of relationships work. I think Americans have this incredibly romantic ideal of love that is also unrealistic in the long run. Extramarital affairs of political figures and celebrities are splashed everywhere in the news, making infidelity much more public than it was in the past. Perhaps people have always been as disloyal as they are now, but it’s more acceptable to discuss now? I’m not sure. I have friends who are involved with married men. I know a woman who has been having an affair with a married man for years and years. I just heard about a woman who is 50, never married, who is involved with a married man. I have dated a lot of guys who’ve been cheated on by girlfriends and wives. My friend’s aunt and uncle, who’ve been married for 25 + years and have two grown children, recently split because he was having an affair with his young secretary. Cliché, but true. Another friend told me that at least three of the guys he works with cheat on their wives. One is supposedly “reformed.” A gay friend told a story of running into a guy he’d been intimate with. He said hello to him and the guy gave him the death stare. My friend quickly realized that the guy was with his wife. Oops. So, what is the point of my observations? Just another reason to avoid marriage. I feel, what’s the point? If it’s so acceptable to cheat, if loyalty is a value that people just don’t possess. What’s the incentive for staying true to one person? A lot of men have told me that the only reason to get married is if you want kids. That is not a very appealing thought – that guys get married just to have kids. Because, you can still be a parent and love your children while cheating on your spouse. In this day and age, cheating is a serious health concern too. STDs are incredibly common. It seems like people who cheat have a variety of excuses for why they do so. The people they cheat with, who are also committing adultery, also have a litany of excuses that make them feel OK about what they’re doing, who they’re hurting. Do they believe their own excuses?