20 Hours

Friday, Feb. 20 was a long, long day. I woke up at 6:00 a.m. and took the 7:40 train to San Francisco. I was pretty excited about a number of things I had planned for the day. My original reason for traveling to SF was to attend the SF Chamber of Commerce's annual luncheon. I didn't have to be there until around 11:30 a.m. I arrived and unfortunately, my name wasn't on the list. I had to wait for a while until the event coordinator found a seat for me. I lucked out, though, and was seated at one of the sponsors' tables, pretty close to the stage. The company is run by a group of young guys who have a lot of experience with start-ups. They are involved in blogging (clean tech, sustainability issues) and the solar industry. I was quite fascinated by what they're doing and we talked about ways to connect my boss to their work, and have him write for their blog, etc. I was really inspired and happy to have had the chance to meet them. I was talking to one of the co-founders and asking him about his previous experience. He explained that this was his sixth start-up and that he just sold his last company, a search engine, for $100 million. Amazing - and totally beyond my comprehension. Wow.

I left the lunch and had several hours before my next appointment. I walked about a block away to a park called Yerba Buena Gardens. It's an urban park across the street from the SF MOCA - Museum of Contemporary Art - and next to the Metreon, which is a shopping center with an IMAX theater inside. It was sunny with some clouds and pretty warm, probably in the mid-60s. I got some frozen yogurt and found a bench. I proceeded to make a bunch of phone calls and check my work e-mail to catch up on some tasks. I called one of my good friends from college who lives in So Cal with her husband and three young children and was happy to reach her. She was driving to her mom's house because OK! magazine called her to get dirt on Nadya S., the woman who had the octuplets. My friend went to high school with Nadya. She was going to look for old photos at her mom's house. She wasn't sure if she was going to give a statement to the magazine or not. Anyway - we talked a little bit about what was going on with the state budget and she asked me what was going to happen with my job, and if my office's budget was safe. I assured her that we weren't going to be affected, and that our staff wasn't impacted by the furlough.

Shortly after getting off the phone with her, I called my co-worker in Sacramento and she told me that the Governor was holding a press conference at 2 p.m. where he was going to talk about making budget cuts to our office! I was really surprised. He announced that he was cutting our budget by 62%, and cutting the budgets of the other constitutionals by 10%. Unbelieveable. I was shocked - still am. It's a political ploy, meant to punish my boss for some negative things he said about the budget that was passed. Nothing he said was untrue, but he should have known that retaliation happens. It's incredibly upsetting. It was the main headline on the front page of the paper, and the story was in virtually every paper in the state. The cuts go into effect when the new fiscal year begins, on July 1. Apparently we'll find out soon, maybe next week, who stays and who goes. Needless to say, the office will be trimmed back to a bare bones operation. I have no idea where I stand. I'd like to think I'll be one of the chosen few, but even if I am, I'm not sure if I'll want to stay. I have a lot of thoughts on this that I won't share here, but they're not happy thoughts.

With all of this in my head, I leave at about 4:30 p.m. on the BART train to Berkeley, where I met up with a girl who participated in the Germany fellowship program I did a few years ago. She is a recent alum of the program, having just returned last June. I really enjoyed meeting her and hearing about her experiences. She works in the solar industry in the Bay Area and her year in Germany helped her make the transition into that industry. We met at a cool brewpub called Jupiter on Shattuck Street in downtown Berkeley. They have a line of German beers including Hefeweizen and Koelsch, and they have a nice outdoor Biergarten. We talked about organizing an event for Nor Cal alumni of the program.

I headed back to SF via BART and hoped to arrive a little sooner so that I could make it to another happy hour. I met a guy last summer at a work event and I have a huge crush on him. He sent me an e-mail the night before inviting me to a happy hour for people who work in the solar industry. I was super excited and really wanted to go, but as it turned out I didn't have time. I was getting picked up for a date at 7:30 and had to get back to the Marriott so I could pick up my stuff and get ready. This was the guy I met two weeks prior at my cousin's birthday party.

I arrived at the Marriott at about 7:10. I changed into jeans and freshened up my hair and make-up. I waited outside and he showed up a little late, probably around 7:40. We went to his apartment and I left my stuff at his place. He changed his clothes. I don't want to sound like a snob (I admit, sometimes I am...) but I wasn't crazy about his apartment. He's 35 and as far as I know, a pretty successful guy, but his place screamed college or recent college grad. He has a nice flat-screen TV but otherwise, no nice furniture. Pretty sparsely decorated. It was fairly clean. It was quite small. Small kitchen, one bedroom, small living area and a bathroom. I guess it's fine for one person but it reminded me of what people have to sacrifice for living in a city like SF. Space! Plus his garage is about a 5 minute walk down a hill from his apartment. I thought to myself, this isn't a place I would like to spend a lot of time in - which would be the case if I was dating him and seeing him regularly.

We found a cab fairly quickly and went to a Peruvian restaurant in SOMA. It was quite nice. Very cozy and romantic, I suppose. He ordered ceviche, which we shared, and I ordered something from the tapas menu that was pretty good. We shared a bottle of wine. I had a good time, we had a good conversation, but I realized pretty quickly that I wasn't feeling any chemistry. I wanted to - he is an attractive guy, smart, we seem to have a lot in common - and he seems to be quite fond of me. He paid for dinner. We walked a few blocks to a bar but decided to get a cab and head to a place closer to where he lives. We went to a bar and he ordered a drink and I got a water. I was getting pretty tired, it was about 1 a.m. We walked back to his apartment, where I was planning on sleeping. We sat on the couch and chatted for a while. At this point I knew for sure that I wasn't feeling it. When he kissed me goodnight, I was absolutely certain. I don't want to say the guy is a bad kisser, but let's say that our styles were not compatible. That's very important to me - kissing is key! I just didn't feel attracted to him whatsoever. It was a little awkward but I had to make the best of it. I knew we were going to go out for breakfast in the morning and decided I'd give it another chance and see how I felt in the morning. Clearly, I wasn't going to sneak out early in the morning. We finally went to sleep after 2 a.m. - a 20 hour long day for me. Oh, I slept on the couch. He lives in a corner apartment in a corner building right on the cable car line. Very loud!

We woke up and got ready and he took me to this secret coffee place called Blue Bottle. I guess it's not a secret, there was a long line, but it's this kind of hidden place in an alley in Hayes Valley. He said it's the best coffee in SF. We got lattes and they were delicious. We ate breakfast (bagels) at a nearby cafe and I was looking at him across the table while we were eating, and I just knew for sure that I didn't feel anything for him. Bummer. I wanted to like him - I like the idea of him! But these things can't be forced. He wanted me to hang out for the day, but I told him I had to head back to Sacramento. I didn't even have a change of clothes, and I wasn't wearing comfortable shoes. Plus he knew about the issues with my job and that I was pretty worried about it. He drove me to the Amtrak station in Emeryville and the next train wasn't for another hour, so we went to the mall and walked around and looked in some shops. He told me he wanted to see me again...but that he is away for the next two weekends. That's not a bad thing. He gave me a hug and kissed me on the cheek. I really didn't want to kiss him again, so that was a relief.

I got a text from him when I was on the train. It said he had a great time with me and he'd love to see me again. I haven't responded - I don't think it's gonna happen. Obviously I'll contact him again, and I wouldn't mind getting together with him for dinner or a drink sometime on a friendly basis, but not on a date.

Back to the drawing board - but really, I have bigger things to worry about these days than dating, so it's not that big of a deal.

Encouraging News

I was in SF last Friday on the occasion of my cousin's birthday. She invited a bunch of people to meet up at a bar called Mars Bar on Brannan Street. My friend K. met me and we went to dinner at Paragon. I learned that my cousin has a lot of friends - a lot of guy friends. She introduced me to one who I thought was pretty cute and apparently he returned the sentiment. We ended up hanging out for the rest of the night - my friend left early. He got my number and we established that we were going to see each other again in two weeks. Yay! I like him. He is cute, nice, respectful, intelligent, etc. At least he seems to be...

He called me on Sunday night and I finally talked to him on Tuesday after a couple days of phone tag. We made plans to meet up on Friday night, Feb. 20 in SF. I will be there for work already.

Then, my friend who lives in DC is trying to introduce me to some other guy in SF who is the best friend of her friend's husband. I think he is supposed to call me. I don't know anything about him or what he looks like, but I'm open to meeting him. Why not.

Stood Up

I encouraged (but did not start) a flirtation with a guy who I probably shouldn't be flirting with, but I admit I welcomed the attention, since my relationship with R. had recently ended. We agreed on an evening for him to come over and cook me dinner. We are friends, but he is super hot and I can't stop myself from fantasizing about him. I'm not sure what I thought would have happened when he came over, but I would have welcomed a variety of scenarios, including him having too much to drink and being forced to spend the night at my place. Where the couch would be way too short for him, seeing as how he's about 6 foot 5. And 24 (years old, that is). Anyway - as our date approached, I hadn't heard from him so was somewhat concerned. I figured he had changed his mind, but that it was unlike him to not even let me know or come up with some kind of excuse. The evening arrived and I assumed he was flaking, so I made other plans that involved going to the gym and making shrimp tacos for myself. Never heard from him. No Facebook, no e-mail, no text, no call. Hmmm. I waited a couple of days and sent him a note on FB that said something like "it would have been nice to get a call..." but nothing too mean. We were supposed to have dinner on a Wednesday night. I got a voicemail message from him on Saturday morning telling me he was sorry that he couldn't make it on Wednesday night, but that he had been "busy". Then he said that actually, he wasn't busy, he had been in JAIL! WTF? I was laughing. I wasn't sure if he was making it up or not. I waited a couple of days and called him back. He told me that he got pulled over for drunk driving on Sunday (Super Bowl Sunday) and he happened to have four guns in his truck. Apparently the police weren't too pleased about that and they arrested him and threw him in the county jail. He called his sister and thought she could bail him out, but then learned that his bail was set at half a million dollars. Guess not. He stayed in jail almost all week, until his arraignment. So I guess that was a pretty good excuse. He told me that he was telling his cellmate (a word he didn't think he'd use in reference to himself!) that he had dinner plans with a "lady" on Wednesday night that he was going to miss. Unbelievable. I guess this was a sign that it wasn't meant to be! Now the guy can't drive and he lives sort of far away, and I'm certainly not planning to go see him. The next time I see him (if he doesn't get jail time for the felonies he was charged with) will be next month at a mutual friend's birthday party in downtown.