Is the Grass Greener?

I read an article in the paper about a couple in New York City who decided they wanted to move to a new place, but they couldn't decide where. In the spirit of reality TV, they decided to let America choose. They created a website and listed about 200 cities where they would consider moving to, and asked people to go to the website to vote. The city that garnered 1 million votes first would win. It became quite a heated competition, with Denver ultimately winning. They moved to Denver sometime in January, I believe. This interesting story has got me thinking about whether the grass really is greener somewhere else. I've never been content to stay in the same place for very long. Not because I'm unhappy, but because life is short - too short to be confined to one city, one state, one country, one continent even. There is always the thought that moving somewhere new will bring with it new adventures, new friends, perhaps new romantic interests. Most of all for me, it's been a great learning experience and has allowed me to broaden my horizons exponentially. I've been thinking a little bit about other cities where I'd like to live. Sacramento is nice enough, but I'm kind of over California. Real estate and therefore the cost of living here is so high, and it would be nice to buy a house or a condo, but what I could get for my (hard-earned) money is not very impressive. So - looking outside of CA, there are several factors that are important to me. I am somewhat of a West Coast snob. Since my family and a lot of my friends live in CA, I wouldn't want to live too many time zones or airmiles away. Weather is also key. Growing up in Nor Cal, where (in my opinion) we have one of the best climates in the world, it would be tough to move to a place where it snows or is below freezing a lot of the time. I know, because I've done that twice. This basically narrows it down to cities in Oregon, Washington, Arizona and Hawaii. Denver (or as my friend Lyric calls it "Menver") sounds great, but - snow. No thank you. AZ sounds too hot. Hawaii - too expensive and too far away. Although, if a good enough job offer came my way, it would be hard to pass up. I am a big fan of Oregon and Washington, both places that aren't very welcoming to erstwhile Californians. Hmm. I really like Portland and from what I've seen of Seattle, it's a great city. I know it's rainy there, and that's definitely a consideration. But, I'll take rain over snow any day. It doesn't really matter because I'm not planning on going anywhere anytime soon, but I'm always looking ahead, wondering where I'll end up next. And I do plan to visit my friend Natalie in Denver, when the weather's better.

Younger Men

This topic is on my mind because I've gone on dates with two 25-year-old men in the last two weeks. My friend Blake, dear friend that he is, gives me a hard time about going out with younger men. I checked my records to see how strong the trend toward younger guys really is. Yes, I keep a journal that has a list of guys I've spent "quality" time with. (Does anyone else do this??) Interestingly, 20 of the last 30 guys I've "hung out" with have been younger than me. Some have been much younger (like 7-9 years younger) and some just a year or two. Nevertheless, this is an obvious theme in my dating life. I also noted that when I was younger, I almost exclusively went out with older men. It's an interesting reversal and I think it's pretty common among women my age who are still single.

Bummer

My future Australian husband just called to say he won't be able to make it to Sac tonight. Sad! He did say, however, that it's been "bloody ages" since he's seen me and that he'll make an effort to get up here sometime soon. Yay :)

The Intimidation Factor

Last night I had a date with a 25-year-old guy -- this is the second time in 2 weeks that I've gone out with 25-year-olds! I guess I should take it as a compliment that much younger men want to go out with me. I'm just wondering where all of the 30 and older men are. I guess they're at home with their wives and kids? They're definitely not hanging out at the Momo Lounge on Saturday nights, which is where I met the latest young guy. Marco (his real name) and I met at Bistro 33 on 16th and K last night at 9 pm, for a drink. He told me that he initially didn't think he should call me because he was intimidated by my job title and position at work. He said that he just called me "to be nice." He said he's not that smart of a guy, which I didn't believe. I certainly appreciated his honesty and was suprised that he actually was intimated by me. I hear that excuse a lot, that guys are probably intimidated by successful, smart women, but I thought it was just a load of crap. Maybe it's true? I told him that my friends wanted me to tell him I worked at Mervyn's. He laughed, but I got the impression that he would be more interested in me if in fact I did have a lower-level type of job. It doesn't really matter in this case, because I'm not interested in dating Marco, but I wonder if other guys out there feel the same way he does. Toward the end of the evening, he finally asked me how old I was and I told him 32. He said he would have guessed that I was younger. I asked him how old he was and he got really embarrassed and didn't want to tell me. I guessed that he was 25 and he said I was right. At least I got a glass of wine and an appetizer out of it. When I went out to my car, I was dismayed to find no fewer than 100 bird craps all over it. I've been told that in some cultures, that is a sign of good luck. I hope so, because tonight I'm having dinner with the Australian guy I'm in love with. He's age-appropriate (32) and gorgeous, and my dream future husband, but unfortunately he has a beautiful girlfriend in San Francisco. Unless he's asking me to dinner to tell me that he dumped his girfriend and wants to be with an intellectual woman like me :)

Follow-up

This was my date's idea of follow-up. No phone call to say "Hey, I had a really great time on Friday night, let's do it again soon." No. I received an e-mail from him on Monday morning that read "guess who has a cold this morning?" He's aparently alleging that I'm the source of his newfound sickness, probably because I was coughing on Friday night. Want to know what I wrote back? "Guess who’s skin is peeling off her chin like she has a bad sunburn??" I have sensitive skin...he has a goatee...or rather, a wanna-be goatee. Kid is 25 but looks about 19. That's what made this whole situation so wrong. Later on I spoke with him and suggested that the girl he made out with on New Year's Eve (assuming there was someone he made out with, I on the other hand was not so lucky) was probably the culprit, since the cold virus needs time to work itself into the system. He wasn't buying it.

"Why are you still single??"

Ah, a question I have come to loathe. As I get older, I get asked this question more and more often. In fact, I was asked this question by a guy I was on a date with on Friday night. My first instinct is to be offended, because to me, he may as well have asked, "what is wrong with you that no guys want to be with you?" I guess that's my insecurity roaring its ugly head. It would never occur to me to actually ask someone this question, especially since I myself am also "still single." My friend Blake says one should offer a humorous reply and then change the subject. Here are some other alternative answers: from Bridget Jones' Diary (by way of Carolyn): all of us 'singletons' have scales under our clothes, didn't you know?; I am actually a psycho bitch from hell who will drive any man insane; I have a serious personality disorder; I have committed multiple crimes and spent most of my adult life in jail, thus preventing me from forming any kind of meaningful relationship, outside of pen-pal correspondence; I am in fact married and am looking to have a meaningless fling; or...fill in the blank and let me know what you recommend I say the next time I get asked this question, because I guarantee it will happen again soon. The last time it happened was last month, and the asker was my boss, of all people. He started out by saying "what's your story?" and then proceeded to try to be politically correct by asking if there's a special woman or man in my life! I cracked up and told him that I'm straight, as a matter of fact. Then he told me that if he was single, he would date me. Thanks! My married- with-kids boss (who is kinda hot, for the record) would hypothetically take me on a date if he was single. I told him I'm willing to be set up and asked if he knew any men between the ages of 30 and 40, who had a job, who were straight and taller than me. That's my criteria. He offered the name of one guy, who one of my co-workers has dated. The guy I went out with on Friday night actually only met one of my standards - he has a job. So, he's short and young (5'7" 1/2 and 25, to be exact). He's a distraction, is basically what he is. And, finally, this is how he asked the question above and how I answered: "You're a good-looking girl, you have a great job, a great apartment, why are you still single?" Me: (after going off on him for asking the question in the first place and telling him I was offended) "Because I haven't met anyone for whom it would be worth it to NOT be single." After all, that's what it's all about, right?